Cormann and Hockey Visionary Leadership. Generational and Transformative

In a startling turnaround the Finance Minister The Rt. Hon. Mathias Cormann M.P and the Federal Treasurer, The Rt. Hon. Mr. Joe Hockey were exceedingly delighted to announce a bold new ‘generational and transformative’, Nation Building infrastructure project. Mounting the rostrum at the IPA headquarters in Melbourne the Treasurer fielding several questions from Fairfax reporters in regards to his recent phyrric victory defamation case, defended his actions and the subsequent onus of court costs, with, “occasionally you have to stand by principle”! Warming to the occassion; ‘My colleague Mathias and myself have been doing some deep thinking. This has nothing to do with the opposition leaders renewed interest in renewables, rather, to determine the course of our future energy requirements. To ensure that our Industry, (whisper from a minder), to ensure that our Service Industries, and our Scientific community, (another whisper from minder) hmmmm, to ensure our Business Unit Operatives are fully engaged in ensuring our SAFETY!! ‘We are a big and progressive country, and we need to have big ideas to tackle the manifest problems that confront us into the twenty first century. And we need to embrace ideas that are revolutionary and daresay it, epoch making’.

Ladies and Gentelemen the future is NOW!!.

It is with considerable pleasure we launch the rebadged, Clean Energy Finance Corporation, under a new vision, a new mantra, a new leadership, and re-badge it as the Coal Energy Futures Corporation!! Another symbol of our progressive, visionary and courageous step into the future! This (much fanfare, and wall mural illuminated depicting bronzed Anzac warriors defending democracy and liberty across Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq) is a turning point. Choir sings; “ I love a sunburnt country’ and ‘Advance Australia Fair’. ‘We are not afraid of change, and with the absorption of the CSIRO into the Coal Energy Futures Corporation we shall achieve a synergy of outcomes and provide much needed certainty to the banking sector. We shall also, and this is truly innovative, convert existing renewable infrastructure into coal based infrastructure. Provide, security for investors, and make homes across Australia SAFE.

Greeted with thunderous applause from the assembled Murdoch press, and much happiness form investors, the P.M, Mr Tony Abbott, entered the stage. A brief pause ensued, as flags, were arranged for the photo opportunity. Then, truly statesman-like the P.M addressed the audience.. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, we face significant challenges. As Australians, the world has become a dark, dangerous and Unsafe Place. And I know many of you have worn out your terror alert fridge magnets. You require some assurance from us that we are committed to making this county SAFER. To ensure that our standard of living is not undone by the insidious reach of, (pausing for effect) Renewables. Well my government is committed to maintaining the standard of living and not upsetting our core constituency. Our banking sector. That’s why we have a plan for the future and it enshrines the very best of our traditions for innovation and thinking. The clever country? Well I can show it to you. What I have here represents thinking beyond the square. It is compact and encapsulates the very latest in our merging of CSIRO, with the Coal Energy Finance Corporation. Ladies, Gentlemen and investors, I present to you the future of energy. Our shared future of a safe reliable resource to serve all humanity… (pause as Last Post is played) I present to you; (drum solo) pulls cord, object unveiled, “THE BRIQUETTE”!!.

The Treasurer Mr. Joe Hockey, and Finance Minister Mr. Mathias Cormann, stepping out in style after launch in bold new Clean Energy Costumes. Costumes generously donated by the Federal Education Minister Mr. Christopher Pyne from his private collection.