An interview of Quentin Cockburn QC, by Cecil Poole – continued.

Cecil: Quentin, yesterday you talked about the potential to convert our national heritage, our parks and open space into economically viable Real Estate. In your opinion are Real Estate Agents solely responsible for this realisation of resource potential?

Quentin: Good Question Cecil!. Though the estate agents are now recognised as leaders and visionaries, none of it would have been possible without our corps of managers.  And i should qualify, they themselves are ably assisted by the middle managers.

I learnt this during the Boer War you know, you can’t have qualitative reform within community and the exploitation of opportunities  without  the agency of  a willing satrapcy who are prepared to furnish their progress up the greasy pole.

Cecil: The greasy pole?

Quentin: Yes. precisely, it’s a form of natural selection, you cannot expect individuals to do things which how should i say challenge notions of community consciousness without providing them with incentives. And you’ve got to be careful about who you select, the selection process should be rigorous.

Cecil: And how do you determine this?

Quentin: You must be ruthless….You see,  you don’t want a management group burdened with soul searching. They must be cleansed of conscience, humanity and compassion. For them, management has nothing to do with romantic notions of environment, unless it can be measurable in units…. You don’t want managers as aesthetes, intellectuals, and dreamers, you need them to concentrate on one thing, their importance in the organisation, and the identification of Branding.

Cecil: Branding?

Quentin: Branding.  Take a look outside at all the new housing estates. Each one outdoing the other in a profusion of excellent and visually striking, designer gateway. Each gateway describing an individual stamp of authority on the environment, and all that stuff!!

Cecil: Stuff!

Quentin: Oh all that motherhood stuff about Sustainability, (laughs)..that and other delusion about the environment.

Cecil: The Environment?

Cecil: The environment is irrellevant, as is any other complexity you can think of.

I have a simple maxim; if it cannot be reduced to dot points in a power point presentation it  is not relevant…

Cecil: Is that a big picture initiative?

Quentin: Make your big picture small…. three dot points should cover global warming for instance. no one is interested , they’re bored to death by Al Gore and his ilk.

Cecil: But it lacks subtlety..

Quentin: For real estate agents, and management, subtlety is a nuance lost in translation…

Cecil: Can you provide and example

Quentin: Certainly!  I was there when they morphed the Melbourne Metropolitan Board of Works into Melbourne Water, and i was there again when they hived off the lands administered by the MMBW into Parks Victoria… it was an epiphany of sorts to be now engaged with the “consolidation and business modelling’ of the various reserves and public lands in Victoria… The first task was to engage consultants to develop branding… Beyond branding, the next move was to make the lands more cost effective… I then sent the managers in our section were off to the Gold Coast and other resorts, Tahiti, Hawaii, Acapulco, to study and consolidate business models for our parks…

Cecil: Why Tahiti?

Quentin: It established a management elite within the organisation, sporting their hawaiian shirts, and inspired the next generation of middle managers to be more like them…. . It became clear when the returning managers unveiled their plans for the former parks, the Rhododendron Gardens, Pirianda, and William Rickets, they were inspired by what they saw. As a consequence we determined all parks must have a Conference Centre,

Cecil: A Conference Centre?

Quentin: Precisely, Interpretive Centres are so yesterday.. the  business plan reccomended a five star hotel.,( Conferences don’t attract slobs you know), and then with the core infill established, the next requirement was to target user groups, corporates, high flying executives to establish corporate sponsorships, naming rights, licenses, and mechandising. In anticipation  of the  publics enthusiasm for this transformation a rationalisation of infrastructure was required to ensure that management plans were worlds best practise!

Cecil: “ Worlds Best Practise’?.

Quentin: Yes Disneyland was a great incentive…

We offered the  middle managers study tours of Disneyland, if they could provide a business case for eliminating their colleagues, it kept them sharp.

Cecil: What happened then?

Quentin: Big Picture stuff!!!  Big Carparks, Big Conference Centres, Big Branding.

A BOLD VISION!!!  guided by my eternal love for a great leader…

Cecil: John Howard,  errr… Tony Abbott

Quentin: For Christs sake get a grip!!  The great lady

Cecil: Er… Mother Theresa?

Quentin: No Maggie… gord bless her soul!!!