Good Ol Fashioned wars. Units of the Grande Armee (1809) seeking retribution from Spanish peasants for not wearing cockade and being out of uniform.
Fall of Constantinople 1453. Turks and Christian mercenaries working together to knock off the empire in the east. Much nicer with red and gold rather than black flags, and splendid uniforms.
Dear reader, we’re shocked by the appalling atrocities in Paris. From the near north, an apt and justifiably emotional response from Sir Atney Emo. Please, burn a croissant in your window, or in a sign of solidarity. Stave off using ‘Defender, Slug-em, or Baysol’ on those garden snails, and put a baguette, (a long french type roll/bread thing, shaped rather like a torpedo) upon your front gate. If you live in a flat, a cockade, or stuffed poodle hung from a balcony will do. It is unspeakable what people do in the name of religion. My thoughts; ‘We were so much happier when we were polytheistic, as in ol Athens’. And not much killing with the indigenous Australians, those past 40,000 years. But these Middle Eastern religions are just “out of hand”. And who would have believed after all the atrocities committed in the twentieth century, we’d be at it again, where we left off in 1189, (Acre),1453, (Constantinople) 1529, (Vienna) or as far ago as 2003. (Iraq).
Paris 1940. ‘Crying to the music of time’. A new tide now sweeps through Europe.
Sir Atney writes:
‘This is a message I sent to my French relatives and friends…
WE STAND WITH YOU!
Everyone in Australia is appalled by the savage murders in Paris. Our sincerest thoughts are with France and demonstrations and vigils are now being held in cities right across this continent.
Tonight a giant flag will be flown from the Sydney Harbour Bridge and at 9pm the Sydney Opera House will be illuminated by the colours of the French Republic to show our strong solidarity with the nation that everyone associates with liberty and civilisation.
Tell everyone in the City of Lights that Australia, like the rest of the civilised world, is with you.
We have suffered from the Jihadist barbarians, too.
Recently in Sydney alone there was a mass shooting of innocent people in a crowded cafe and, just weeks ago, an innocent family man (Chinese background) was randomly assassinated by a 15-year-old armed jihadist.
In 2002, 88 innocent Australians (out of 202 murdered tourists) were killed in the bombing of a bar in Indonesia by Muslim fanatics.
We must stand together to defeat this scourge’!
John Howard being decorated with the order of the Rubic by George W. Tony Blair was unable to attend as he was busy at the time gratifying Rupert Murdoch. (in the intrests of decency the image has been withheld)
Good ol Fashion wars for ‘King and Country’!
Dear reader, in the interests of even-handedness, we’d like also to thank the sterling work undertaken by the three wise men, George, Tony and John, (little Johnnie to his mates) in starting up the good ol war against Islam. It must bring these three men great joy to know that after Aboukir, Kabul, Omdurman, Mesopotamia, (numerous other shitty little wars) the obscenity of Versailles, Suez, and Palestine, we’ve finally got the hundred years war we’ve been looking for. Rather than being sent to prison for the tens of thousands of innocent victims killed by their greed, ignorance and stupidity, we would like to award them the silver, Rubic’s cube medallion, with diamonds, crossed swords, oak leaves and very attractive ribbon. We were considering granting the platinum award, (the highest honour) to Donald Rumsfeld, but he tacitly informed us that; “he already has one and it’s very nice”. In due recognition from the Arms industry, (the Military industrial complex), in keeping demand up since the appalling cessation of hostilities after the end of the cold war. May they stand proud, for preserving once and for all “Civilisation”!
Good ol fashion wars for ‘Real Estate’.
Please observe a minute’s silence. (we suggest as a measure of even-handedness to our readership that facing towards Mecca or Sth Australia, in the direction of Corey Bernardii is optional).