A special report by Quentin Cockburn
It is with boundless enthusiasm we announce a bold new direction in the management of criminal justice specifically geared to tackle the horrendous, escalating rise of lawlessness, marriage breakdown, obscenity, child abuse, drunkenness, drug abuse, gross depravity and fine evasion by members of the indigenous community in the Northern Territory.
In a first for public private partnerships Serco and Transfield, providers of correctional and humanitarian (immigration detention) services, and the Northern Territory Minister for Tourism, under the acclaimed ‘Stronger Futures’ program, unveiled the new ‘CONISTON’ Super Prison.
‘It’s an innovative worlds first!’ The CEO of Transfield, Mr Renton Seeker proclaimed, “At last the twin synergies of tourism and incarceration can be merged into a super facility. It recognises worlds best standards in providing correctional services, and profits made by this growth industry are fed back into developing high end accommodation for overseas visitors.
Section of main administrative hub. Comparative sizes, Ayers Rock, Bulk ore Carrier, 230,000 Tons.
Ultimately we will have a man made structure on a scale and physical presence to compete with ULURU! This Super Prison brings together ancillary strengths, and enables us to provide a one stop hub, an employment growth centre to cater to our expanding needs.’
The Minister for NT Tourism Mr Bill (William) Plunder was effusive, ‘The Norther Territory is a big place and the infrastructure costs of prison construction and police station upgrades was placing immense strain on our budget.
Interior, indicating tiered processing for offenders, note, central slide to fast track offenders from top level to basement, and robot warders.
We had a ballooning criminal justice costs, and booming tourism numbers. There was something missing in the equation, until our bean counters suggested the merge. With the merge we’ve combined our strengths, dispensed with remote community correctional facilities altogether, and provided reliable employment for those employed in the tourism industry.
Minister Plunder continued, ‘This inspiration for this building comes from both indigenous and Australian belief systems. The main administrative block facility, ‘The Bradman’, is 452 metres long, (that’s the Dons highest test score). The building is almost as large as ULURU itself! We wanted to make a bold statement in keeping with the spirit of Stronger Futures. The layout is signifiant for indigenous Australians. It’s the entrapment of the water serpent, surrounded by very large rocks. This design was developed in consultation with leaders of the GEM’s, (General Economic Manager. Unelected bureaucrat responsible for managing remote communities.) administrative communities, with some input from an indigenous artist’.
Asked to explain the internal working of the building, the CEO of Serco, (Mr. Bashem Quickly) beamed, with pride. ‘It’s clearly a world first. This structure, can be seen from the moon. In practical terms it’s a Benthamite prison, but most importantly, it puts and end to fly in fly out and the vagaries of the tourist market. All the employees are multi skilled, and can now offer sunset tours of the rock and conduct night-time tours of the facility. The feeding time tour is proving immensely popular. The tourists love it. It’s made the territory SAFE.’
Artists perspective of “The Coniston Facility”, indicating, educational programme, “ marching’, and proximity to Ayers Rock, (Uluru). Note attractive mural on building facade inspired by aboriginal dreaming and input from some local artists. Searchlight atop main administrative tower radar guided to locate absconders.
The Freedom Commissioner Mr Tim Wilson was on hand to celebrate the architecture and commend the “superb sculptural arches and their positive message ‘Work to Freedom, Strength through Joy and Work to Prosperity’. We want to instill a sense of the work ethic and let them know that by hard work they can attain the highest standards of living’. Its a win win for communities and will establish growth and employment into the future’.
The Commissioner, ebullient in his belief that the building will encourage excellence enthused; ‘This complex is divided into even spokes round a central administrative hub. The hub designated ‘the white tower’, represents authority and the responsibilities of management. The seven spokes, each named after a local indigenous tribe, comprise a three level building. The upper tier for truant children, jay walkers, fare evaders. The second from most offenders, DWB (Most common traffic offence in the Territory. ‘Driving whilst black’), and the like, and the lower tier for serious cases, murderers and domestic violence and some more prominent Aussie Rules footy players. Because of the vast distances required for our Correctional teams to track down fare and fine evaders, we have constructed within the building a central helipad, and aerodrome. We can receive, process and despatch in fifteen minutes. We don’t require duplification of criminal justice systems, this does it all’.
Robots Mk V
The day to day running of the centre is managed by robots*, and the principle aim of the facility, is to re-educate and re-integrate offenders into the community. ‘Education? Yes, we teach marching. Yes indeed marching is very important, teaches them discipline, precision and punctuality. It will make ‘them’ better citizens’.
Asked about the process of justice, the CEO replied, ‘That hasn’t changed. The cost of maintaining a Magistrate on site was deemed prohibitive, so we operate a fly in fly out roster for magistrates. They conduct trials on a monthly basis’.
The CEO angrily reacted to a question from a Fairfax reporter suggesting the rise of an Industrial/Correctional complex, ‘Of course it saves the taxpayer because it brings in efficiencies of scale and reduces crime.‘ Asked about escalating recidivism rates the minister responded, ‘What do you expect?, the conditions are so good why wouldn’t they want to come back’?
* MkV correctional robot, fully automated with built in taser, capsicum, pistol, sub machine gun, handcuffs. After processing it was recognised that full automation was substantially cheaper, and made no difference as staff are not required to speak “local dialect’ and basic speech function, “affirmative and negative” was consistent with total quality management principles.
The Hunter-Gatherer, a fully automated processing and collections device for fine evaders. Note; coal powered (courtesy the Minerals and Energy Council). Note magnetic unroadworthy car gatherer and control capsule. Also mineral sampler to provide on stream analysis of recently vacated land. Coal residue and fare invaders processed in the “bag” attached to main collections duct.