And who said we were infantilised as a community?

Dear reader , we at PCbyCP would like to apologise for the shrill, offhand and somewhat puerile diatribe offered as a consequence to the excellent initiative on Innovation and the IDEAS BOOM. It was biased and unfair to the laudable principles outlined by the federal government. The following is an extract purported to be from the minister (The Rt.Hon.Christopher Pyne) himself. It makes compelling reading.

‘This government, as evidenced by the progress on ‘safe schools’, gender equality, real tax reform, equity, wages, the status of first australians, education, health and the radical 2014 budget are completely one hundred percent focused upon making the ‘Ideas Boom’ a singular reality.

‘Ideas Boom’. Photogaphic evidence of Giant space baby directing ‘Ideas Boom”. Did Kubrick, get a royalty for his ideas schtick?

Just last week, I was reminded of how truly innovative Australia has become when I was made aware that the same sex marriage bill will be put off indefinitely. The disparity between the ‘have‘s and the have nots’ continues to grow, proof perfect of conditions conducive to the ‘Ideas Boom’

Naplan, by encouraging ‘thought standardisation’ across the board, is the best thing in determining how well our kiddies will adjust to a brave new world. Another instance of the ‘Ideas Boom’

I am also mindful of the desire, expressed by many to make Australia the worlds largest depository of nuclear waste. Clear evidence of the ‘Ideas Boom’.

And i’m thrilled that Cardinal Pell felt quite sorry for victims. That shows real progress. And points proof profound to the ‘Ideas Boom’.

So you may rightfully ask, what is the ‘Ideas Boom’??

As described by Larry Marshall CEO of CSIRO. ‘The ‘Ideas Boom’ is not unlike a sonic boom, yet noiseless. It is in part effected by gravity waves, and shows a fundamental shift takes place when collective thinking within large government departments or NGO’s establishes sub-cosmic shock waves. At first we just thought that they were “thought bubbles”, (a lesser pscho-physical response), but to our surprise we discovered they were more akin to an actual BOOM!! An actual physical shockwave! And the consequence of these invisible power outtages of thought can be quite transformative. Our intent is to harness the raw energy of the ‘Ideas Boom’ phenomena, in making Australia a better place. How do we do this? We utilise a medium. We refute the observation made by  leading scientists that our synchrotron is virtually in mothballs, due to the absence of a rational, consistently funded scientific research programme. Let’s have it known that our synchrotron, is being used at this very moment to establish a link with the ‘Ideas Boom’.Through a living medium who then reinterprets the “Ideas boom” impulses as raw data’.

And who or what, is that medium we asked?

‘Senator Eric Abetz from Tasmania. Eric has a unique capacity to harness and synthesize the ‘Ideas Boom’ impulse, and he converts this raw energy into psycho kinetic impulses, which are picked up by this telemeter, and converted into three line slogans. You thought the three line slogans were the unique preserve of the former P.M, but it’s proven that the three liner, is in fact the synthesis into practical effect of ‘Thought Utilised Reactive Data’, (or as we associate with the acronym), TURD. Actually the federal government has known about the ‘Ideas Boom’ phenomena for some time, It explains the flurry of innovative policies you have come to expect.

Eric, our ‘Ideas Boom’ medium. Converts cosmic impulses into three word slogans.

Our treatment of the first australians for instance. By incarcerating the lot, remote communities will be able to help themselves to the incredible generosity and growth of NGO’s who have utilised the ‘Ideas Boom’ to pinpoint instances of youth suicide, which is rampant.

We have re-calibrated the ABC through the ‘Ideas Boom’.

We innovate, because we can utlilise the raw power of the IDEAS BOOM! That’s quite distinct from listening.

The ‘Ideas Boom’ has allowed us to counter so called unfettered suburbanisation. It demonstrates that out development industry by utilising the power of the ‘Ideas Boom’ attains WBP ‘worlds best practise’ in providing innovative urban environments, car parking and freeway infrastructure.

Thinking too hard is bad for your health. This astronaut was actually only 30, and yet being susceptible to the “Bad Ideas Boom” by thinking about life, the universe and everyfink became eighty plus!!

The ‘Ideas Boom’ has allowed us to convert universities into visa factories. We’re foremost in providing innovative management and cost effective course solutions. We promise, as the metrics indicate, strong growth in syllabus and course development at the very highest level whilst reducing government funding to “sub-tokenistic” levels.

This astronaut Rupert, (allegedly the next Dr Who) came back down to earth, looks eighty, (yet as a timelord is thirty-ish), knows everything there is to know about life, space, time and every fink, and just got married to a sex goddess. And controls the entire UNIVERSE! Lucky bastard!!

As Rupert intelligently suggested, there are the right kind of ideas that maintain the status quo, as opposed to the bad ideas that promote change. Change is axiomatic with danger. What would happen if we went truly innovative? What would happen if we were pushed by a ‘Bad Ideas Boom”? What if we had the wrong kind of ‘Ideas Boom’? You’d have same sex marriages, a more fluid property market that allowed young australians a foothold, and we might produce an economy geared towards something other than real estate or mining. That would destroy the country as we know it.

And worse still it could lead to the most dangerous idea of them all, the unravelling consequent upon recognition of the first australians.

And no right thinking person wants that’!!