Fed Police equipped with section sixteen, clause five of the ” Dangerous Thinking Act” raid the ABC

The worst thing about the police raids is we thought, Jeez, could Rupert be on our side?

 At last the cops have something worthwhile to do, 

No good chasing up fines and jaywalkers, There’s real criminality afoot, and you know what it is? It’s people who embarrass pollies. 

Remember the witness K.. “ the abandonment of principles of open and fair government”. Apparently after bailing out the East Timorese they went crook that we bugged their embassy and spied on their negotiations. To do em over on BIG BUSINESS and MONEY! Silly Buggers they thought we were fair players, a level playing field and all that. But they didn’t realise that cos we saved em they OWED us BIG TIME!  We done em over real good, and Alexander, who is a regular toff, done a bit of an 1842 on em. 

If the pieces don’t fit…”MAKE EM FIT”!

What’s an 1842? 

Well in case you didn’t know it’s. Bit of an Opium War. You fuck up another bastards country, do em over real good, and when they cry poor, you go the jugular and enact a treaty that fucks em over for the next 150 years. That’s statecraft. That’s what makes the winner a grinner, and with bit of luck it’ll put em back where they belong. Their crime? Being uppity. 

But this Afghanistan thing has got us beat, so what if a few soldiers go ape shit and kill a few dagos in a foreign land. They’re just doing their duty and ensuring the locals get the benefits of a free and enlightened civilisation. 

Problem is, the gyppos, wogs, lebbos afghani’s don’t like it up em. 

That’s the problem 

And the army don’t like being dobbed on. By one of our own! A stab in the back. That’s what the Fuehrer used to say about the First World War. And it aint cricket When a government goes psycho, someone has to be blamed. GO the JOURNALIST!

Snappy new Fed Police Uniforms. So that journos will know RESPECT and FEAR!

That’s why we called in the Federal Police, 

The lefties are spewing. Say it’s about the loss of press freedom.  We say bullshit. Anzackery is way more important and don’t you forget it. Good we’ve got Dutton in charge of security, he’s an ex copper from Queensland. Guarantee before you can say “ Fitzgerald”  it’ll  be sorted.

He’s got plans that’ll put pinkos lefties and journo’s in their place. They’ll be wishing they were copy boys for ‘Pravda’ or the ‘Peoples Daily’ by the time he’s finished with em. 

For questioning Anzackery? The crime is treason.  The punishment imprisonment without trial. Bit like what we do with the Abo’s to ensure that one way or another we demonstrate power and the inviolability of being right. The people doing wrong by us, will never ask the reason why?

AFP head working on new Public Safety legislation.

How do you spell police state? 

Buggered if we know but we reckon this uniform idea is just the thing, came from a bloke call sicherheistdienst.  And its real flash, and these new Gauleiters uniforms instil respect and fear. That’s what the journos will be thinking next time they dare to twaddle about a ‘free press,’. Respect and fear is what they need and the knowledge that jack can never be as good as his master, cos jack aint got the jackboot. 

Incidentally,What’s the meaning of  Propogandaministerieum?? 

Separation of powers?

Buggered if we know, that’s a technicality.

Public Broadcast Centre on trial to establish “Correct thinking”.

We stand on PRINCIPLE!

Policy think tank. SOLD!

Cec celebrates the sale to the Happy Eight Corp.

After we sold the pcbycp policy think tank, (it was very nice) to that man who represents the ‘Golden age Teaching Academy” in Shenzen, we looked around for a few more opportunities. Cecil, bathed in the afterglow, made a  wise and canny decision to sell his caravan park to the “Lucky Age Golden 8 Dragon Investment Company”.It is to be converted into a series of breathtakingly beautiful high rise apartments complete with Cinema complex, luxury boutique shops and high roller gaming lounge in a joint partnership between Crown and the Li Fan Golden Dawn Investment Corporation. Cecil then said; ‘there was still a bit to be made in futures’. 

We didn’t quite understand, we knew nothing about shares. Cec made it clear, this was not ordinary speculation. If we sold the kiddies school lock stock and barrel to the “Xinxiang Investment Corporation” we could ensure our kids got a better education. Once all the equipment had been sold off they’d all have first choice in some of the boutique apartments that were on offer (off the shelf) in the resort development. 

After we sold the school it was to be demolished and  turned into the fabulous resort.

Before you could say “Mah Jong”, we were in. It was then that we discovered a codicil in Ma’s trust. She helped raise the money for the school, that said no one legally had the right to sell the school. That was a bit of a blow. It was her legacy as a fearless community leader. WE were stumped!  Until we had a brainwave, just gift the school to the Corporation. That would in accordance with the deed of settlement be kosher. Cos a gift was not really a financial transaction and besides out local member who is very close to the board of the “Happy Eight” said that’s what he did when he sold off the heritage listed government buildings, the power station, the library, the day care centre and the hospital. And though some do-gooders tried to stop it, it went through faster than you can mow down a protester in Tiananmen square.   We didn’t mention that to the Happy Eight, cos they’re sensitive to that sort of thing and  say it officially didn’t happen. That makes us laugh cos un-officially we’re happy to go along with it. 

Still, it hasn’t all been plain sailing. We’ve had to change the entire curriculum at the local uni into Mandarin. If we didn’t we wouldn’t have got the investment for us to set up the “pcbycp Institute for Leadership and Higher Learning”. It enables us free flights anywhere in the world, and accomodation at the best hotels. And as a bonus we all got matching designer suits, high profile bags, clothing and eyewear. Some local kids are a bit pissed off, but we’ve told em they’ll beneficiaries of the Service Community. Doing dishes and wiping arses in accomodation homes. 

Bit worried about where non resort members are meant to stay

It was a match made in heaven.  Until just the other day. The anniversary of Tiananmin Day, (which never really happened), and we get a knock on the door. The Happy Eight Group are angry. The school we sold em was demolished by some of Cec’s mates in a speculative venture to build block of flats. They are risk-taking venture capital businessmen who are trying to make Australia GREAT! They copped a ten dollar fine for knocking the building down.  The Happy Eight Group are furious cos as a condition pre sale they had to demonstrate their bona fides by putting ten million into each of our accounts. They’re really pissed off. They want their money back. We rang Clive and he said, “ just call em commie bastards and slam the door on em”. But it hasn’t worked. There’s bloody great tank pointing at our door. And a troopship down at the harbour. And helicopters, and surveillance and Speakers telling us in Mandarin how to be “Good Citizens”.

“Ungrateful bastards’!, Cecil said. We’ve sold em everything, what more could they want? It’s almost like THEY THINK THEY OWN US! 

What a cheek. 

Sold off the caravan park to make this multi function Polis…(whatever that is)

So Cec is writing his book, the “Noisy Invasion”! It’s about the commies infiltration of Australian culture. “What culture”? I asked. Cec came back at me faster than a One Nation Senator in a Strip Club; “The right to make an honest buck spending the kids inheritance”. 

Bob Hawke. Channelling God, in declaring ” No Child shall live in Poverty”!

In the troubled times it’s always reassuring to go back to that maxim of the 1930’s, ‘these troubled times’. It’s a palliative for all the news that makes sense, but then it doesn’t.  It’s the existential  rebound upon the existential crisis. And confusion is the matrix that holds it together. 

Tony Santamaria speaks to GOD via the people of Warringah

Cecil (cautiously) looks out from the pcbycp policy Think- tank.

But after detailed analysis by the pcbycp policy think tank we believe most things aint confusing. It’s just the way they’re dressed up. For instance Labor lost the election. According to Hillary Shorten: “powerful vested interests were arrayed against Labor”. Yes indeed, those interests, self interest, greed and short sightedness, pretty well sum up the country, and Rupert and Clive just did their bit to help us stay that way. Gotta say that in hindsight Bob Browns decision to send the anti Adani convoy to Clermont as a way of bashing up the Queenslanders did the trick. Singularly that was a basketful of deplorables high water mark, and the deplorable responded deplorably. It’s all very well being high and mighty about principle and worrying about tangential issues like the environment, but you cant proselytise to Queenslanders. They’re God-fearing and they know righteousness by heart. And according to the Catholic Boys Daily, (the Australian) we need more of it. That’s why gladly they’re pushing for religious freedoms now that the Labor bogey has been slayed, so God-fearing blokes can say horrible things about non God-fearing blokes and go back to stoning women and hate as promulgated by the Bible in 100 AD. 

Adani will be up and running before you can say election cycle. And those tax cuts to really wealthy people who make no contribution to society are in the bag. A win win for bigness in being smallness. CORE PRINCIPLES.

There’s a cultural flow on effect that aint confusing. It’s in the nations DNA

God

Queensland

Flag Waving

Anzackery

Fear

Smallness

French submarines. 

Barnaby Joyce.  

Adani . 

Great Barrier Reef. 

Julian Assange.

Asylum Seekers 

Bashing, maiming, raping and killing women. 

Tony Santamaria talks to Rupert (post Warringah) on God’s Telephone.

Ex prime ministers who served for as little as fifteen seconds will get a HUGE increase in their pension. Unlimited travel and the ability to lobby as many special interest groups as they like for ever. A God-send for the likes of Tony Santamaria, who can now just like his namesake, keep Australia away from imagination and forward thinking. And there are no increases to science, technology and innovation,. To ask the reason why? IS DEATH! A nod to the development industry to keep doing what they’re doing, and hope for the banks post Royal Commission its business as usual. That’s not confusing or troubling either. 

And we have our Barack Obama moment. Ken Wyatt as Australia’s first indigenous Indigenous Affairs Minister for Indigenous Australia. This is their “no child shall live in poverty” singularity ay work. We  anticipate seeing the same level of change to the status of indigenous Australians, as Barack’s triumph did for the African Americans. With a bit of luck the incarceration rate will continue to climb, but the for the cameras, there’ll be much possum cloak wearing and stirring. 

Good thing we don’t have a scary innovative risk taking government. For a nation of superannuants, that’s too scary to contemplate, and wealth distribution and significant reform are gone. Albo reckons we all need to look after wealth, and I suppose as a sinecured pollie, it’s good that he’s looking after his constituency. 

Others use the Lager-phone.

As the froggy submariner said to the auditor general;  ‘plus ca change, plus cest la meme chose’, which is frog for “winners are grinners” and that aint confusing either. 

Internationally famous in Australia

Every now and again by some trick of circumstance, by some fateful alchemy, by some quirk of pre- destiny, an Australian steps up to the mark and onto the world stage. WE are a small minded country and too often, though we’ve boasted individuals who’ve been “Internationally famous in Australia”, few locals can put their finger on anyone locally grown who’ve made a Big impression on the worlds stage. 

Billy Hughes strode big at Versailles. 

Bob Menzies strode big when he backed Britain and France to put the wind up the Gyppos and declared war on the Suez, and Bob Hawke cast a huge shadow, not only in the air when he shagged hosties, but for winning he Americas Cup. The world knows our sporting prowess. And they stand back and wonder at our capacity for winning things that don’t really matter in the scheme of things, (albeit our splendid record on species extinction which puts us way ahead of the pack). 

But culturally, we’ve never really claimed a genius,  a colossus who’s really made their mark. Chips Rafferty got the odd job in Hollywood, Nicole Kidman, was almost Australian until she, (like most aussie actors who have a shine for Hollywood), become AMERICAN. Even Joan Sutherland was sorta famous, and of the lesser notables, Kylie, Rolf, and Syd, thats Nolan with a capital “N”, never really made it any other place than pommy land.  The poms like to acknowledge Aussies provided they perform to a criteria, a sort of sub colonial cliche, it puts their minds at rest. To be quite frank, not even Frank Thring really made it big overseas. No Australian has shone as a super nova, and we’ve been bereft of a superstar. And it has come at some cost to our reputation 

Mitch, Inspired leadership.

All of this is true. 

Well until Mitch. 

Mitch is a genius, 

And we’ll tell you why?

He alone, has stood fast to de-fund the ABC. 

He alone has made the courageous decision to slash funding to the arts so that real artists may starve and learn integrity. 

Mitch loves Culture!

He alone has eschewed political correctness to ensure that arts funding goes to the opera, the ballet, and some really good philanthropy so that really really wealthy people can present the kind of art the they invest in for themselves for society’s benefit. 

Mitch has ensured that funding for authors, actors, and anyone of note, (thats musicians ) must go overseas, in order to survive. Mitch has the foresight to say to all of those culturally inclined, even the hook rug makers and the basket weavers; “if you can’t get a gig ossifying a dead artists oeuvre at the tapestry workshop where non people make art decorative and Useful, Fuck off overseas”. 

Because of this Mitch has been made our rep at the United Nations, 

An authority of singular relevance in these troubled times, and rest assured under Mitch’s guardianship Australia will walk tall upon the words stage….. and be great…. again. 

And make us PROUD!

Labor had some pretty good policies. They were almost visionary. In contemporary Australia, that constitutes a problem. Visionary is upsetting to OLD PEOPLE. Visionary is also upsetting to those who like things just the way they are. Being Visionary, just wont cut it in Australian Politics. That’s for the old style Labor. 

You’re probably thinking, 1972? Nup! You’d be dead wrong. 

We’re talking about the Labor policies of the 1890”s, full sufferage, the eight hour day, the republic, and a loathing for Toadey’s of any kind. Now you cant  tell the toadies from the scum bags, the feather bedders and the aparatchicks. They’re all in line for preferment. Someone said, “Hillary Shorten” and they nailed it. 

William Lane, Ratbag visionary left for Paraguay in 1892 to found a utopian Australia. That failed. That’s the last time we trusted visionaries in this country.  After the bloodletting stupidity of the First World War we returned to the smug embrace of wowserism, fear, xenophobia and cultural cringe. Except for the  “Whitlam irregularity”, we’ve been cowered ever since 

And on the strength of it Shorten was unelectable. His forehead was too big, and his missus Chloe,(Chloetia to her tennis playing mates) and the kids: Clementine, Rupert and Georgette, are the sort of kids names that you’d think Tony Blair would’ve  had. Extras pulled from a Somerset Maugham Novel. Except everyone in U.K Labor HATES Blair. Cos he represented himself rather than the people. Bit like Bob Hawke, who till his dying day preened himself on the self delusion that he was the common man’s Man. 

The New Australia in Paraguay FAILED! WHY? Note absence of chimneys, bereft of the gift of COAL!

That wasn’t gonna work. 

How can you convince Queenslanders who all name their kids, Caydn, Brayden, Jayden, and Todd, to go with that blend. Betcha Morrisons kids have names like Sharon, Diedre, and Brian. His ordinariness  makes him electoral GOLD. 

Labor lost cos it thought too hard about everything. In Australia we hate thinkers. Unless it’s Peter Fitzsimmons who tells us how bloody good were on the field of valour, and all that. 

Tony Blair, on the world stage to ensure he hung around with right minded people.

Doc Evatt was clever, and look where that got him. Billy Hughes was a clever, but a brawler, got him to the table at Versailles, so that everyone could see how xenephobic, cultural cringey and insular we really were. And it made him a BLOODY LEGEND, cos in the end he dissed Labor. 

So Labor in the final analysis, Bills policies went through caucus, the frontbenchers and none ever said, “Bill this is progressive, It aint gonna cut it with the electorate”. Could’ve saved his bacon. A failure of groupthink

Billy Hughes, upholding the right for young men to waste their lives on a muddy field in France.

Why the liberals WON, is  a Victory for Non think….. and FEAR!

They had no policies. They had no vision. They were bereft of IMAGINATION!

They are, whether you choke on your cornflakes or not, the shape of contemporary Australia. 

They are ‘US’! We might slag them. We might loathe their craven desire to seek the lowest common denominator, through bribery corporate theft and mate-ship, but at the end of the day they ARE ‘US”!

The experiment with the “Bunyip Aristocracy” Won. We’re governed by a hierarchy of plutocrats, self interested feather-bedders, and self seekers. They like to feel smug, because though they haven’t had an original idea ever, they know where they stand on the greasy pole, And self reflection is ANATHEMA!..

And what do we say at pcbycp. 

Good on em. 

No group-think…just nihilism dressed as FEAR. 

Electoral GOLD!

The Boomerthrocene Era hailed Coal as the Saviour of Humanity!

Next to the Anthropocene, the “Boommerthrocene”, is a singular period of human evolution. Time shall be marked, BB or AB hereafter.

It is identified by a rise in smugness from the over 55’s and the :trickle down effect”. Not a loss of bladder control? you may ask, but an identifiable phenomenon whereby faith is placed in charity and largesse to avert social destruction. Conservatives quite like it. And you cant blame them.  Faced with the horrific existential threat of socialism and the destruction of the very structures that keep this society intact, (such as prudential franking credits and adjusting the marginal tax rate), they rallied and sent a vision of a fairer Australia DOWN! The Boomers. The inheritors of free tertiary education, Commonwealth Scholarships, cheap housing and a more liberal era, closed the door on the very same entitlements that gave them something more important than vision. A comfy life. 

The Boomerthrocene Era liked to think about the environment, but could be swayed by bigger issues.

Though Rupert and Clive have done their very best to ensure they got the right result, it’s encouraging to know that our kiddies will not be able to afford a house. There’s some good heritage housing stock going cheap in Broken Hill. And the Wimmera looks good, not many ocean views but plenty of sand. The further good news is that the slide in property may have stalled, the upward trajectory points to a stronger future in which equity, fairness and the environment are non ISSUES!.. 

The BIG ISSUES stretch way beyond a sensitive raft of policies aimed at social equity. 

Aged care Is HUGE

Universities as Visa Factories and vocational training facilities are HUGE

Tax Concessions are HUGE

Negative gearing is HUGE

COAL is COLLOSSAL!

And Indigenous incarceration is just getting BIGGER And BIGGER!

Growing the economy and employing THOUSANDS!

We have a forward looking government that looks backwards.  Whose policies on everything are focused on those who ARE ABOUT TO DIE, rather than those who are yet to LIVE!

Trevor St Barker, an older Australian who is the personification of the Boomerthrocene ERA.

And for this kiddies the irony is exquisite.  Dead end jobs with a hundred thousand plus HECS debt are LOCKED OUT! Their optimism is quashed so that we may better view the benefits of the “Trickle Down Effect”. To wait till we‘ve karked it before they can climb the ladder of social opportunity.  

We can expect a bright future in school chaplaincy, and with bit of luck attendants in the newly augmented SUPER SIZED Australian War Memorial will get bright new uniforms. We might even  add further wings to that ossary of lost souls when we join the yanks in our next foray into the  Middle East.  Once daddy and mummy have finished with  tax cuts they may gift one of their investment properties as a leg up. Everyone needs a leg up. And if you aint got  wealthy parents you just lucked out.  So GET OVER IT! A big tick for REALLY REALLY FUCKING HUGE  road projects and the shareholders, and  new French submarines WILL be built, and Adani is a CERT!

Joe Hockey, closed down the Car industry, put thousands out of work. A legend of the Boomerthrocene Era.

Some generations are just borne lucky.  Not for them the mud and barbed wire of Flanders, nor the bubonic plague.  Not for them the sacrifice for the glory of Empire as a tail gunner in a Lancaster being sprayed by 30 mm cannon. Not for them the ignominy of contracting smallpox, malaria, and berri berri…on a jungle track somewhere behind the bamboo curtain of deepest darkest Burma or even in the existential sense to die ingloriously as a pike man at Agincourt.  To die nobly for ones cause. Just the certainty of a depleted planet and an environmental catastrophe!

In their youth when they were quick limbed, lithe and carefree, they indulged in natures bounty, so that the gift of opportunity was singularly theirs. 

But now with the special accomodation home beckoning, the knee, hip and joint replacement pending, they graciously closed the door on such opportunities for those who must  follow. 

Who, sadly would do exactly the same if they were in their position. 

In the end self interest triumphs the environment. 

But, don’t despair, we’re working on a treaty, and with  a bit of luck our white paper will be due for the next election. 

Or the one after that, 

Or the next one after that. 

Can’t have too much change in a generation or two 

A big vision, yep its called television. 

The Boomerthrocene Era is famous for public figures pretending to CARE about POOR and NEGLECTED SOULS, to make themselves quietly superior, (and secure their AO nomination for Philanthropy).

Or…. Facebook?

Twitter anyone?

WE’re so bloody glad about the election result. 

There’s a famous cartoon from the 30’s. A asteroid bypassed earth. Missed it by a few million miles. The asteroid looked down at the planet it had just missed and uttered, “ phew, that was a narrow squeak”. The earth the asteroid was looking at was rent with dictators, jackboots, explosions and bombs raining down on innocent people. It was a prelude to the Second World War and as we know the cartoonist captured the moment. 

Celebrating the Status Quo, Selfish, Insular and Xenophobic.

The same could be said of the election result last Saturday. Another close run thing.  And for a moment or two we almost felt that we’d be involved in a catastrophic collision with change. By a party of do-gooder social reformers who wanted to do something about equity. They wanted to make the big end of town pay tax. They wanted to make those who had huge investments in investment properties consider seeking another pozzie to park their dosh. And above all they wanted to do something about the yawning abyss between the ‘haves and the have-nots’ and do something about climate change. 

The ONYA MOMENT!

When the results came through we were cock a hoop! No chance of reforming change in this country EVER!

UNITED WE STAND IN BEING SMALL!

That’s what’s great about Australia. You can get the taxpayer to fund your lifestyle if you’re well off, get huge kick backs with an investment portfolio, fuck up the environment and you’re a WINNER. And whilst you’re at it you can slag off at really poor people who haven’t had a nest egg bequeathed to them from mummy and daddy. And if you’re really rich you wont pay any tax at all. Like Gina and Twiggy, you can put it all into your respective wheelbarrows and tell society in general to get stuffed! Cos that’s the way we like it here. Why share this country’s bounty? When you can have it all to YOURSELF!

So that’s what the election was all about, and any of this nonsense about climate was just a background noise. A clutch of hippies obsessing about stuff that most of us who pay mortgages,, work hard, or just inherit well don’t give a stuff about.   As for franking credits?  Let’s be quite frank. The only reason why anyone invests in this country is for the kickbacks they get from real estate, tax rebates for buying shitty coal power stations for nothing, and fucking up the environment. 

Cos the government as we all know will pat you on the back and say “good on ya”!!

But the best thing is, and this is the icing in the cake. That little prick Shorten got his just desserts. Not for promising change. Not for trying to save the fucking environment. Not by talking about equity, and human rights and shit that none of us mainstream Australians care about, but by snubbing the most important man in the Australian body politic. 

And he’s not even Australian. By not grovelling to Rupert Murdoch, he cooked his goose, 

Cos that’s one thing we don’t like in Australia. Unless they play footy, cricket or are good drinkers we HATE SMART ARSES!

TO FUCK THE ENVIRONMENT! YOU BEAUT!

Onya Rupert. 

Hi all,

I was wrong when I thought that stopping work was going to give me lots of free time. Trying to write a book is very rewarding but also challenging.

Before I became a geologist I aspired to become an industrial chemist. I have on my book shelves a ‘Sisler Vander Werf and Davidson’ (General Chemistry-second edition, eighth printing 1963) which I still consult on rare occasions and which I’m doing right now.

Acetic acid- CH3-COOH

Ethyl alcohol- C2H6-OH

When ethyl alcohol is exposed to oxygen it becomes acetic acid.

That is what happens when wine isn’t sealed properly and is exposed to air. The alcohol turns into vinegar.

In the 1970’s a group of Warlpiri men had gone drinking at Kirirdi waterhole south of Yuendumu. They fell ill and complained at the clinic that someone had put battery acid into their flagon of Four Crown Port -the drink of choice at the time. Those days any freelance journalist worth their salt would regularly monitor Police and Flying Doctor radio channels in case they’d chance on a newsworthy story. All communication between Yuendumu Clinic and Alice Springs Hospital was via the Flying Doctor radio. The resulting headline in Adelaide papers?

Aborigines in Yuendumu drink LSD laced grog

I haven’t discerned a marked improvement in reporting accuracy on Indigenous matters since back then.

Has anyone noticed that during the current electoral campaigns, Indigenous matters are virtually not mentioned by those aspiring to represent us.

The Uluru Statement from the Heart was summarily dismissed by Malcolm Turnbull. Mainstream Australia dismisses the Uluru Statement from the Heart at its peril. Look what happened to Malcolm Turnbull! He was dismissed.

Bryan Adams- Straight from the Heart.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ebtjgK8NNU 

Cheers,

Frank

Voting is a serious business.

Five hundred million will ensure at least some of the people some of the time are confused.

That’s why big business and real estate agents are spending millions on scaring everybody shitless about all the EVIL and SOCIALIST things a putative Shorten Government will do once it gets its hands on POWER! And that’s after they’ve taken into account the billions and trillions being spent by just one man in order to slew the Australian political system his way. That man who strides big on the global stage, and pays his workers in BUCKETS OF BLOOD, derived from their own arteries.

We’re not talking about Clive Palmer, he’s a pygmy possum to this GIANT. We’re talking about Rupert Murdoch. If Labor wins, less people than the last time will be inclined to believe everything they read in the Catholic Boys daily (the Australian) and less inclined even more still to salivate at the uttering of Andrew Spanner Hex Key BOLT.

“Psst, wanna save the Australian Ecosystem’?, Mate ship and a Cayman Island registered company is a good start.

And that’s why “WE” the voter have to be aware that voting Labor will make a big change and render the very fabric of our society untenable. Shorten’s reign will impose a brand of socialism that is akin to communism. And he’s going to start with negative gearing, thus causing EVIL and DESTITUTION to tenants and landlords across the wide brown land. And worse still strip old people who are well cashed up in denying the franking credits they deserve to maintain their lifestyle. Worse still he may even impose a belief system that assumes society be the joint beneficiary of national policy rather than individuals. In one fell swoop he will DESTROY the bounty of HOWARDISM! This is a vision that is seismic. More seismic than closing down the car industry, Adani, or even… Killing off the GREAT Barrier Reef as the single defining pillar of Coalition Policy.

This must be STOPPED!..

But how? The Shorten Juggernaut seems unstoppable. And as if by some divine intervention the death of Bob Hawke came at just the time to Pole Axe pre- election political debate. Bob’s death symbolises everything about modern Labor. The accord restricted workers rights, their salaries cut, and Big business BOOMED and made HUGE Profits! To establish the TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT! To make some people Very Very RICH! Bob was the common mans hero. He came from nothing, promised everything, dissed his wife and married Blanche, and along the way, became very very rich. And lived a millionaires lifestyle to go on trips to Tahiti, Race Horses and Talk about (almost with conviction) Children in POVERTY! That’s what the common man wants from society.

Kicking Goals for the the ecosystem, Josh conjurs the Invisible Environment Minister to a brief signoff to Adani.

But to his credit, Bob had a vision.

And he recognised the value of dialogue. That’s pre ideological dialogue. Pre social media, instagram, twitter.. everything. And he could shag whoever he liked and no one cared, because he represented Australia before the final defeat of larrickinism by WOWSERISM!

So are you confused? Don’t worry, some things will always remain the same. In spite of the cessation of negative gearing and talking of a more equitable tax system, and even making multinationals pay tax, the worrying trend is not all one sided.

‘Okay Bill, if you wanna do well in politics you’ve gotta make it pay, and in the meantime talk about children in poverty, wining boat races and greening Australia’.

We know that in the end, self interest will triumph and with a bit of luck the rate of incarceration of indigenous Australians will still rise, and women will still be beaten to death by angry immature males.  And FEAR, Raw FEAR will still win elections for politicians who know the cost of everything and the value of NOTHING!

Clives best friend. Friend to all in the arts, Mitch Fifield

Dear reader we at pcbycp are committed to giving you the facts. We are committed to steadfastly telling it just how it is, without diversion, hyperbole or influence. That’s the straight bat you expect from out investigative reporters. It’s the honesty and integrity which has made this masthead the clarion for that dim light of western civilisation. Alone! A pallid flicker amidst the morass of mediocrity. 

Aside from the constant offers made by journalists in the Murdoch stable for work experience, we eschew their cries, becomes we want to stay PURE! We know they have been paid well to peddle their filth, and once tainted cannot be re-trained.  “WE couldn’t even train them as tea ladies”, Wally said, “cos even the milk would be tainted, and the arrowroot biscuits would be desiccated, atrophied and ossified, like their overlord Lord Rupert of Murdoch’. And though they rail and rally to be given meaningful work, we keep the door fully closed. And remain just a footnote in the febrile vortex of the digital media landscape. Alone, isolated and rejected WE STAY PURE!!

Ad it’s this purity that gives us our OBJECTIVITY!

Thats why, at the pointy end of this electoral campaign we’d like to give out endorsement. We’ve looked at the parties in  forensic detail. We’ve been along to their fundraisers. And though it was disappointing to miss out on the Nauru contract, (Cecil sold his Humber Super Snipe Mk 3, with the drinks cabinet and leatherette seat covers for 3500.00.) it was galling to know that another crowd got the five hundred million contract for Nauru.  More galling still that we lent both Mitch Fifield and Melissa Price our completed DVD and VHS collection of Jacques Costeau, and didn’t even get a look in on the over five hundred million you that was awarded to the Great Barrier Reef Foundation.  That’s why we’re REALLY PISSED OFF. And want our readership to know how to make their vote count. 

It’s no use voting tor the coalition. They’re all in bed with the lobbyists. You can’t vote Labor, cos by Paul Keating’s own admission they’re alI in bed with Beijing. And you cant vote Green, cos they’re sanctimonious. And besides its impossible to have a good time at either Labor or the Coalition fundraisers. You’re either being harangued by wowser evangelical christians,  or asked to perform party tricks  like ‘piss on yer mate’, or ‘dick in the beer’ for pot bellied unionists, and prim faced teacher union execs. Whilst at the Greens you’re being told every time you light up, have a beer, or take a piss, you’re endangering some fragment of biota that could be gender confused or just angry about SOMETHING!

That’s why we’re urging you to vote for something we understand. Something we’re familiar with. Which remains pure because it’s never been given a RED HOT GO! An idea who’s time has come. And on the strength of it, a man you can trust to keep workers in their place by not paying them and have a BIG vision for Australia. That’s it folks, a bat for the ordinary person, who knows all about being the absolute personification of ordinariness. Vote for CLIVE. Clive hows what it takes to take on the Beijing, and deal with grubby unionists. 

To Keep us PURE from the taint of thought and vision. 

To save Australia, and keep us SAFE! 

To live without CHANGE! 

So that nothing may happen EVER! 

And the right sort of people can go on being RICH!  

And pay no TAX!

And identify with the single most important issue EVER! 

Queensland!