We at pcbycp are Cheesed off. 

It really sticks in our craw. 

WE didn’t get so much as a cracker at this years Ozzie day awards, and we’ve given up on expecting a gong for Queens Birthday. Since Clarrie

Lloyd, an inspiration for Great Barrier Reef enthusiasts. Also gave excellent advice on offshore investments. (for those who like wearing wetsuits, and general rubber goods).

Nice submarine”Precursor to bottom of the harbour investment schemes. Lloyd pioneered the use of Submarines for tax mineralisation purposes”, ( Hockey, J, “Making Parliament Pay” 2014)

  increased the size of the fish tank in the office we thought we’d be CERT for the half billion granted to do valuable research on the Great Barrier Reef. Cecil was so excited he bought himself a genuine Jacques Cousteau type aqualung outfit .
He painted it the same colour as Nemo, sort of orange with white dots. He said he was inspired by the film, that’s what got him interested in the first place. And just to bone up on Barrier Reef research I bought the complete Lloyd Bridges “Underwater World” on VHS.
It was captivating, Lloyd did a lot of fishing and what he and Lee Marvin didn’t know about Marlin was nobody’s business. And cos, we thought we might get an edge on the submarine contract we bought the complete dvd box set of “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea”.

WE thought, taking due diligence, and the nature of the tender process we’d be a shoe in… 

But when the contacts were awarded we received NOTHING!

Not even a telegram. After the bitterness had subsided, we got a call. You’d never believe who it was from? A bloke who sounded colloquial, wore a big hat, looked like an over ripe tomato, went by the call sign “the rooter”.  He was really helpful, told us the reason why we didn’t make it on the board of the Murray Darling Basin Authority was because we didn’t have enough clout. Same reason why we got looked over for a gong. He said, we needed to be in the company of powerful people. It would make our efforts GOLD!

He said if we knew the right people we’d be first running on a really big contract. 

So Cecil decided he’d become a shareholder. Went to AGM’s and started wearing a proper Henry Bucks jacket which he wore to the members at the Bulladelah Bowls Club. It’s a who’s who, on the committee. Real movers and shakers who reflect leadership in contemporary Australia. We have two real estate agents, a car salesman and a real  pokies operator. 

Then the moment came, a tender just between us and an obscure bloke who called himself Palladin. Cecil did a bit of research and found out Palladin rented a beach shack on Kangaroo Island, had an office behind a container in Hong Kong, and that was that. 

“Hogans Heroes”, ( previous title ” Humouring Hitler”. Valuable primary source material in dealing with illegal law breaking beyond the pale refugee types.

So we bought the complete dvd of ‘Hogans Heroes’, to bone up on prisons, and “Escape from Alcatraz”, cos we were entrusted to keep criminal illegal boat people in jail, for their own good. 

Turns out,  in spite of all the research and an offer to take the entire parliamentary committee to the Bulladelah Bowls chop night, we didn’t get the contract. 

WE only wanted 400 million and expenses, The Palladin bloke got 450 plus, and unlimited expenses. 

‘Something’s crook’, says Cecil. 

We found out. The Palladin bloke got the gig off the strength of his Hong Kong container. Seems he qualified as being an “International organisation of high standing” . We’ve just got a suburban office and people on disability pensions. Figured that’s why we lost. Palladin is well connected in New Guinea. That’s why he’s banned from visiting. He’s a few “Maserati’s short of the container”. 

Cecil reckons it’s ‘Cultural cringe’. We had no overseas connections. 

Pcbycp’s Headquarters. An anonymous Milk Bar, somewhere in Sth Australia. But not exotically placed like Kangaroo Island.

Still, we’re gonna try for the next naval contract. Just bought an Airfix model and the complete “McHales Navy”. As the experts say… “You’ve gotta be in it”. 

This from Ira Maine (I hope you make more of it than I did. Ed)

Galway Kinnel won both the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Award for Poetry (USA) for his Selected Poems in 1980, and his New Selected Poems was a finalist for the National Book award in 2000

Kurt Vonnegut wrote to him thus:

December 22 1997
New York City

Dear Galway Kinnel
At the age of 75, I had come to doubt that any words written in the present could make me like being alive a lot.  I was mistaken.  Your great poem Why Regret? restored my soul.  Jesus!  What a language!  What a poet!  What a world!
Cheers
Kurt Vonnegut

Why Regret?

Didn’t you like the way the ants help
the peony globes open by eating the glue off?
Weren’t you cheered to see the ironworkers
sitting on an I-beam dangling from a cable,
in a row, like starlings, eating lunch, maybe
baloney on white with fluorescent mustard?
Wasn’t it a revelation to waggle
from the estuary all the way up the river,
the kill, the pirle, the run, the rent, the beck,
the sike barely trickling, to the shock of a spring?
Didn’t you almost shiver, hearing book lice
clicking their sexual dissonance inside an old
Webster’s New International, perhaps having just
eaten out of it izle, xyster, and thalassacon?
What did you imagine lies in wait anyway
at the end of a world whose sub-substance
is glaim, gleet, birdlime, slime, mucus, muck?
Forget about becoming emaciated. Think of the wren
and how little flesh is needed to make a song.
Didn’t it seem somehow familiar when the nymph
split open and the mayfly struggled free
and flew and perched and then its own back
broke open and the imago, the true adult,
somersaulted out and took flight, seeking
the swarm, mouth-parts vestigial,
alimentary canal come to a stop,
a day or hour left to find the desired one?
Or when Casanova took up the platter
of linguine in squid’s ink and slid the stuff
out the window, telling his startled companion,
‘The perfected lover does not eat.’
As a child, didn’t you find it calming to imagine
pinworms as some kind of tiny batons
giving cadence to the squeezes and releases
around the downward march of debris?
Didn’t you glimpse in the monarchs
what seemed your own inner blazonry
flapping and gliding, in desire, in the middle air?
Weren’t you reassured to think these flimsy
hinged beings, and then their offspring,
and then their offspring’s offspring, could
navigate, working in shifts, all the way to Mexico,
to the exact plot, perhaps the very tree,
by tracing the flair of the bodies of ancestors
who fell in this same migration a year ago?
Doesn’t it outdo the pleasures of the brilliant concert
to wake in the night and find ourselves
holding hands in our sleep?

Galway Kinnell.

WHO IS ZALI STEGGAL?

Dear reader, there are some terrible things happening in the Australian Body politic. And its not just about fish kills being less important than blocks of coal in parliament.. 

Zali, is spelt with a Z

Since the rise of the middle L Independents, and the outing of the Coalition as a party of Climate Change denying, anti women, homophobes, there’s been a challenge to the status quo. 

People who have had a very real life outside of politics, people who’ve worked in real jobs, and paid real taxes, and people who are even, (this is the dangerous part) are qualified to talk about stuff they really do know about. Are HAVING A GO!

All of this is confronting. 

Behrouz Boochani. No one had ever heard of him till the four independents got into parliament.

It’s about individuals out there in the community representing the community interests. Some interest has even been expressed for Illegal Asylum seeking rent seekers who are not even considered HUMAN. And some interests question the very orthodoxy of “Clean Coal” and Non-stop Consumerism. 

At this rate the stellar influence of lobbyists working for big business will wane. 

The influence of corporations and ultra conservative lobby groups to hand pick candidates for their capacity to robotically align ideologically straightjacketed automatons for the likes of the IPA and Lord Rupert of Murdoch will go unheeded, 

The influence of Sky News, The Catholic Boys Daily and other liberating influence, the Menzies Foundation will be severely depleted. 

More powerful than COAL. The four independents. Inspired by Cathy Macgowan in Indi

This is a catastrophe, 

The latest affront to good governance is Zali Steggal. 

Which begs the question….Who the hell is Zali Steggal?

“I am the Light”, (Saint Tome of Santamaria)

Apparently she’s a barrister with two decades of experience in law. What’s worse, bits of business, corporate, and family law.

Worse still,, she’s an Olympian.  And most frighteningly, together with Macgowan, Blake, Phelps and Sharkie, she’s a WOMAN!!!

This is an affront and it has to stop. 

She is standing against Tony Abbott, . The Rhodes Scholar. A man of conviction who’s done more to import a U.S Style of T Party negativity onto the Australian public.  TONE thrives on hate politics, division and humour as he is the self elected special envoy for Aboriginal Australians. . 

Steggall’s message is, we want politics to return to basic values, moderate values, and the values that lead and prosper within a multicultural pluralistic, liberal society. 

See how insidious this is. Old White men are being attacked left right and centre, their virtue to keep society and women in check is under siege. The principles of stoning women and ignoring the pleas of science, reason, and common sense are being destroyed to make the world a more empathetic, considered and happy place. 

This will spell DOOM for all of us. 

It will destroy struggling artists who need persecution to survive, 

It will KILL the spirit of community and will erode, the godhead of ANZAC as the one unifying principle of Australian politics. 

Zali’s followers are family. Repudiating Party solidarity for community values. SHOCKING!

Stand with us at Pcbycp and help us in our fight to protect Tone, “Tone Alone” from the tide of progressive politics. Without Tone we’re doomed.  Doomed to the freedom of questioning the status quo.

Our universities will crumble, our institutions buckle under the weight of a mate-ship less oligarchy and the land will be laid to waste, (Corinthians chapter 4, V11). 

The rise of the moderates must be defeated. 

Lobbyists have families too,….. and feelings.

Just ask Andrew Robb? 

Terrible news, A new mine proposed for the Gloucester Valley in New South Wales has been knocked back. Not because it wasn’t big enough. 

Not because it wasn’t filthy enough. Not because it wasn’t gonna be seen from the moon. But because it was not viable on “Environmental Grounds”. 

WE at Pcbycp are Shocked. What is this specious, “On Environmental grounds”? Isn’t coal old forests, recycled into life affirming COAL?

LEFTY RATBAG Environmentalists Giving a “FREE KICK” (Australian Mining Monthly) to US Resources.

This ruling questions COAL. It questions COAL’s worth as “being good for Humanity”, as described by Lord Tone of Santamaria. 

This questions Coal as the saviour of everything we hold dear.

This, and wait for it, places the environment above making lots of money in the short term and not giving a stuff about the cost to future generations. 

Tone ALONE! Is that Light at the end of the Tunnel?

Worse has Happened. 

In the same week a bunch of do good lefty independents have swayed the vote on the floor of parliament and will allow doctors to check the viability of some poor bastard being repatriated from Nauru or Manaus Island. It says Doctors, as medical professionals are better to judge illness than Border Force guards in Gauleiter Uniforms. 

A Whole VERANDAH Chock FULL with Lefty Ratbag Environmentalists, who mistakenly believe that they have a voice on Parliament. UNLIKE COAL!

This puts COMPASSION above PUNISHMENT!!! 

If you don’t understand the immensity of this, we have prepared a simple equation. 

PUNISHMENT V COMPASSION

MONEY V THE ENVIRONMENT

BIBLICAL FAITH AND SUBJECTIVE BIAS V SCIENCE

And the clear winner  is COMPASSION, THE ENVIRONMENT, AND SCIENCE. 

Disgusting!! Lefty Environmentalist RATBAGS inculcating little kiddies with their insidious ENVIRO-MANIA!

THIS repudiates GODS WILL.

WE are in such a state of shock we checked the Catholic Boys Daily, (The Australian) for reassurance, and as the earth is flat it reassured us that this decision was a VERY BAD ONE. A blip in the normal process of governance. The green vote will wither away, and coal will be sacred and unquestioned. And, you’ll be Glad to hear COAL will still have a vote in parliament. 

Australia will STILL be open for Business.. 

Some people just don’t get PROGRESS!!!

There is still hope that Old White Men may shape the destiny for all Australians. 

And with bit of luck, the Wilderness of South West Tasmania will be converted into Real Estate. 

The hundreds of thousands of cattle that are dead as a consequence of catastrophic global warmed flood may be converted into compost

The Great Barrier Reef may yet be KILLED and  MINED for PROFIT.

And , the coastal regions of Australia, when flooded will prove to be a boon for REAL ESTATE AGENTS. 

There’s quite a few of them in Parliament and they know how to turn a quick buck and allow the trickle down effect to do the rest. 

They say in America that a thousand billionaires is a failure of policy.. 

We disagree, the 1 percent demonstrate REAL LEADERSHIP. 

To Make DAVOS Meaningful and SELF CONGRATULATORY for those who do VERY HARD WORK, and have earnt their SPECIAL STATUS. 

Decisive leadership is what Australia Needs, 

To destroy the Murray Darling, to Clear the old growth forests, to wipe out the biota. 

And prove once and for all that we can do it..

Community Action is very bad for BIG BUSINESS!!

Because we CAN!

And for those triumphalist Gloucester Valley environmentalists, 

The environment will wait, it has all the patience in the world. and will take us all. 

Environment 2.0 will be a monoculture. 

So was Australian Politics.

Open Country is useless unless it is MINED!!

In the words of Commander Kirk: “It’s Life Jim, but not as we know it”.

Barnaby Joyce. Tossing for our future

Good news for the Murray Darling. 

Smoothing the pillow. Federal Environment and Energy Ministers thinking big.

The Morrison government has been copping quite a bit of stick lately for they tardy response to climate change. They’ve been criticised for sitting on their hands in regard to coral bleaching and the death of the Great Barrier Reef. They’ve been seen worshipping unelected lumps of coal on the floor of parliament, and they’ve been absolutely silent on the death of irreplaceable fauna and flora as Tassie burns. 

On every front  they’re silent. And why? Because they’re too compassionate for little animals and Gods creatures. Their silence is not an admission of guilt for letting entire eco-systems die. It’s an expression of the humility and grace they give to departing creatures under the all seeing mantle of a Christian, (some may say decidedly Catholic) GOD. 

They are spewing as they grant licences to Adani to despoil on a scale unprecedented.They only do it because they know it is mankind’s destiny via the Old Testament to establish progress. And consequently the extinction of humans as species in the long term. It is Gods WILL. 

So spare a thought for their silence, 

Man of action

Their silence is DEEP. 

On climate change, Tony Abbott is hoping that Zali Steggal will defeat him. To release him from the  burden of caring as “Santas little helper” for all creatures great and small. Tony weeps for little creatures, unborn kiddies and aborigines. That’s why he’s special envoy. Cos he knows how the weak, the unprotected, the vulnerable have feelings. Poor Tony, that’s why he understands women. That’s why he wants to nurture those few aboriginals not yet in jail and why in all his humility, he worships the Catholic Boys Daily, (the Australian) in lock step with Lord Rupert of Murdoch. He has principles that are held through common bond of understanding that beyond  an all seeing God, that COAL IS GOOD FOR HUMANITY!  Via God’s telephone he can communicate directly with his patron Saint Bob of Santamaria and steer the Coalition closer to the edict of the DLP. To govern for all of us, though the divine wisdom of very old and conservative white men. 

NSW and VIC Environment Ministers demonstrate Fish ecology knowledge.

So be sympathetic. 

The Murray Darling is dying. Just an open sewer at the end of a cotton production line. For Tone, it‘s a new beginning. He and his colleagues have a plan. To transport the few remaining fish to a dam somewhere. 

We don’t know which dam this is. Which veritable Eden will sustain them. But we do know this, that with Gods blessing those lucky few fish may be saved. This is environmental direct action. Smooth the pillow for a dying eco system, as was done before. Find a safe place of refuge, with proper supervision and guidelines aimed at protecting them. Then, once established in remote, disconnected isolated outreach of humanity somewhere in the vastness. Throw away the key and walk away, because those fish chose to uphold that lifestyle. To die. For their own good.

Ludmilla leading the MUP Board. Before it walked off into the sunset.

Dear reader, this explosive piece has been edited to preserve us from the taint of slander. For legalistic purposes the names of the principal characters have been altered to protect the value of philanthropy, vanity projects and self absorption. Names changed beyond recognition have been marked with an Asterix.

There’s a lot of people who have Ludmilla Acton* stories.

Whatever you say about Ludmilla, there’s just about as many people who’ll describe her as a bit of ratbag as will describe her a saint. In balance we suppose that’s what happens when an ambitious enterprising individual puts their weight behind an organisation in the cultural sector. Ludmilla likes power. Just ask Rosa Storelli. Reminds us of a mate  who’s a designer. He pisses off just as many people as he infects with his enthusiasm. In the end he’s a doer. He’s a firebrand. The silly Design Institute kicked him out because he ruffled their feathers. He accurately described one of their supine, lick spittle feather bedders as indulged in a “vanity project”. It was his forensic detection of a conflict of interest that got him into trouble. A member of the Institute, caressing Institute funded pet projects from which to award prizes and citations.  He was quite right. But the bloodletting took him down. His reaction?  “Stuff em”! A good fighter, who claims responsibility for making his own decisions and upsetting  comfortable people in safe places. They accept their responsibility, and when shown the door, instruct their assassin to emphatically and without contradiction to  “GET FUCKED”. 

Airport reading for Dummies

MUP Titles. “Airport Trash”

WE admire that, because most of us are so terrified of losing our peg on the ladder. Acton’s power was in   exercising the freedom to make her own publishing choices.  To own the  publishing brand and bugger the consequences. Her enemies gathered and warmed themselves with simmering discontent. Universities are like parliament. Full of ambitious people who live in burnishing their skills for discontent. But not firebrands. Being a firebrand gets you sacked. And sadly since the era of Horne, etc Universities daren’t challenge the status quo. They want to become heart and soul of it. They are businesses with strict rites of patronage and enshrine the principle of the pack. And consequently we have humanities that don’t challenge the system. Arts institutes that produce patron friendly installations. The questioning, the challenging of societal ‘Norms’ is left to the graffiti artists. 

The other contender, the man who is purported to be Chancellor of the University has done very well. He made his money defending Alan Bond. It is alleged by some, before Bond went bust he made damn sure all the money Alan siphoned from enterprises and dodgy deals and shareholders was re-directed into his personal estate. From this he built an Alan Bond type empire. Uncannily similar, of overseas breweries and trophy properties in very desirable places. His was a quest for another kind of power, The power of the unquestioned exercise of authority. In short, Immortality. 

Failed Archibald contender Rosa Storelli titled: “The reader”. (with draft copy of “Airport reading for Dummies”, permission MUP)

Alternative title read; “Could’ve been Chancellor”.

One can’t help feeling that Murchison*, as the defender for Pell, and Acton’s decision to back the Pell Bio by Milligan their courses were on collision. Acton though did not know that Murchison would soon be Chancellor. His energies, at that time were directed to crafting the national culture as chairman of the NGA.  But a lot can happen in a year or two. For whatever reason the Chancellor represents the culture of contemporary university, self censoring, sanctimonious and unassailable. The firebrands, that activated university culture are all from the era of Germain Greer. Murchison’s influence, (though emphatically denied) over publishing represents a pure conflict of interest. Murchison has made his mark by being interested in everything within his power. His exercise  of power is found in the tradition of the renaissance Papacy. Power is all that counts. Absolute unquestioning power. The old Voltarian, “defending the right to say” has nothing to do with contemporary universities. They are Businesses, Pure and Simple. And since siphoning Bonds money he has made his own authentic conversion as pillar of the establishment, leader and power-broker on the ultra conservatives.  Murchison is a businessman. Or more aptly, (as he likes to see himself)  a modern day Medici. In which the arts, books and ideas, are corralled and pigeon-holed into a decorative niche. 

Acton’s sin was cardinal. She challenged the orthodoxy. She’s gone. Some academics have said it’s a chance for them to publish. But, what, and when in the current climate will they ever publish something that will give us food for thought. 

As the sign at Melb Uni says; “Believe”. 

Believe in what?

After the recent comment by a university chancellor on MUP’s publication of “Cardinal” this piece is a bit of History for Dummies. An offshoot of “Airport trash”. 

Rutger Bregman. “Troublemaker”

We (our society) have arrived at the Emperors New Clothes moment, ‘

Delegates Arrive to submit their vision to Davros

Dutch historian Rutger Bregman reminded everyone at Davos that if they paid their taxes they wouldn’t need to wheel out Bono and genuflect to capitalism. Took a historian to get a handle on Emperor’s New Clothes-manship’. And he’s only thirty. 

The bastards don’t pay, and hide behind the shabby cloak of Philanthropy., 

Pretty well sums it up. 

The blokes a genius, 

Someone had to say it. 

Cept non one did. 

Trouble is all of them have the same point of view..

Bit like global warming, We pretend it aint happening, till the bees die, we’re under water and our houses are reduced to rubble and ash. Hard living in the here and now. That’s why we have RELIGION.

Jan Hus, the precursor to Walter Bregman, Luther and anyone else who questions the status quo. Met a similar end to Khashoggi, but his  demise provided entertainment to the masses as a public execution. 

Jan Hus heretic and inspiration for the  the famous and emblematic “Ship of Fools” had it sussed way back in the 1450’s. Think it was after the Black Death. The Black Death?  Bit  like a banking crisis, it sharpens the senses.  One moment you’re riding high, then you’re ten feet under. 

“Rapid growth in wealth inequality results in the inevitable isolation of a very small, very rich, very privileged section of the community from the material experiences of everyone else. And when this out-of-touch minority group is enfranchised to make the decisions on behalf of people they don’t know, can’t see, have no wish to understand, and think of entirely in dehumanised, transactional, abstract terms, the results for the rest of us are devastating”. ( Sally Macmanus)

Sebastian Brandt wrote “Ship of Fools”… its an allegory adapted from Plato to describe Davos. 

He was inspired by Hus. 

Sebastian Brandt. Allegedly lived longer than a Saudi or Russian Journalist.

Hus was the precursor to the Dutch bloke. 

After John Wycliffe, the theorist of ecclesiastical reform, Hus is considered the first church reformer, as he lived before Luther, Calvin, and Zwingli. His teachings had a strong influence on the states of Western Europe, most immediately in the approval of a reformed Bohemian religious denomination, and, more than a century later, on Martin Luther himself.^[4] He was burned at the stake for heresy against the doctrines of the Catholic Church, including those on ecclesiology, the Eucharist, and other theological topics. (Wiki)

Hus got dirty on papal indulgences, its bit like non payment of tax for Rich bastards through philanthropy. Hus said it one hundred years before Luther. He was a clever bastard. These days he’d be called a ‘ratbag lefty troublemaker’. 

Davos is famous for its eccentricities and rugged individualists.

Lucky the Dutch bloke didn’t get knocked off as famously happened at the Council of Wurms,  a bit like a modern day Davos. He was lured with the protection of free passage. Like the Saudi journalist, he went out in a suitcase, or in them days drawn, quartered, broken on the wheel. He was liquidated. The status quo did him in, and there’s no bones about it.

I reckon that’s where capitalism is now. Very Jan Huss.  He was offered safe conduct. Once at the diet they knocked him off. 

Davos is so very pre-reformation, The ancien regime  hanging on, and enjoying the  modern equivalent of papal indulgences. Not fact but Bullshit, Papal Bull-shit or otherwise. In the end it’s all bout POWER. 

“James, Tahiti Looks nice”!

That’s the legacy of the greatest capitalist system known to humankind; Organised religion. No wonder they love Coal.. Flat Earth.. stoning women… etc..etc.. etc…Flying on Lear-jets to proclaim “ Tahiti Looks Nice” 

Fear and loathing go hand in hand., 

Time to rollout Bono

Goodnight. 

Yumi Stynes is on the right. Kerri is appalled at the word “racist” being directed at her by someone of “foreign” ancestry.

Chesty understood mainstream Australian values.

Dear reader, if the perils of Theresa May in Brexit talks with the EU aren’t bad enough the plight of Kerri-Anne on telly is worth a look. We understand Mays plight it’s almost existential, the poms wanted to get out of the filthy stinking EU and demonstrate their independence. Trouble is no one ever thought how to go through with it, let alone a process. And though they tie themselves in knots the Europeans, (of whom Britain steadfastly refuses to be alligned with) say, “Non”, “Ni”, “ Nicht”, “Nein” and whatever passes for “No” in Laplandish. So back and forth May goes with the clock ticking and the public, (silly buggers) have just woken up to what have signed up for. The halfpenny has dropped. The so-called leaders are clueless. They’re buggered. But there’s  a fall back position. In the end, they can resort to tradition, and blame it on the Irish. With a train wreck of stratospheric proportions there’s some comfort in reasserting traditional values. 

Our Special Envoy for Aboriginal Australia Tony Abbott investing kiddies with mainstream Australian values.

Traditional values are under serious threat in Australia. On Telly, Kerri-Anne who is loved by those who vegetate in special accomodation homes, the underemployed and those in the queue at Centrelink, the reality is too much to cope. Kerri was doing just what Mal Brough, Tony Abbott Kevin Rudd, and Tony Abbott did in by banging on about the wretched state of aboriginal behaviour. Kiddies, Mums, the whole bloody family structure as we know it being cruelly raped. Kerri quite correctly drew the connection between aboriginal raping, (for which she reminded the tv audience that’s all they’re known for) and the desire to remove Australia Day. You’ve gotta admire Kerri, she has conviction. Probably supports that man of conviction Tony Abbott in being the special envoy for aboriginals. If only the aboriginal Australians had such convictions and leadership they wouldn’t be cranky on Australia Day. 

Unwilling individual being invested with mainstream Australian values by special envoy for Aboriginals.

But the facts of morning telly are irrefutable, Rapes only happen in Aboriginal communities. Rapes do not happen in the “other world’. The “other world”world you may ask?. Yes the world “we’ live in , where rape if it did occur would only be via a misunderstanding between clean living people. Or some catastrophic and unheard of intervention on behalf of a priest and a kiddie bestowed to his care. Or any mother or, a battered wife, or the dead partner left to rot by a righteously  immature male. But that’s the exception. Only Vile Rapes happen in the aboriginal community and Kerri-Anne should know, she visits them like Tony often. 

So as Kerri-Anne was holding forth Yumi Stynes, intervened, “that sounds like pretty racist language” and all hell broke loose, 

And before you can say “will Bill ever visit Rupert?, the Murdoch press went into a frenzy.. 

“Who the Eff is Yumi Stymes”? they ask. Turns out here DNA is definitely not of the Chesty Bond variety, and like that other trouble maker, Yassmin Abdel Magied, she can bugger off. 

And allow the clever debate about culture wars to move on. A victory for mainstream Australian values, and like Brexit, a victory for common sense of the lowest common denominator type. 

Troublemaker questioning mainstream Australian values on Q& A. Angry perhaps that Q&A never ever got the recognition it deserved for starting the Intervention.

Onya Rupert. 

It’s almost Australia Day and hundreds of us are in line for an award.

Sadly, as unpublished research by my firm Lateral Economics reveals, many will get it for little more than doing their job. And the higher the job’s status, the higher the award.

Governors General, High Court Justices and Vice Chancellors of major universities would hope for the highest Companion of the Order (AC). Professors, public service departmental heads and senior business people should hope for the next one down – an Officer of the Order (AO). School Principals would generally slot in next for Members of the Order (AM).

If you’re lucky, or you’ve done your job extraordinarily well, you’ll be promoted one rank, but that’s pretty much it.

We reward most the already rewarded (The Conversation). (Gruen)

So bloody true

Cecil and I got quite excited. 

Not normally as excited as we do before Guy Fawkes night, and possibly because it was fun, and a little dangerous and the Do Gooders BANNED IT, but just about as excited as we used to get on Empire Day. 

“Empire Day” you may ask? 

Well before Australia Day, Empire day was just the ticket. There’d be a bonfire. We’d build a massive one, and the kids from all around would throw on empty chairs, old tins, bits of material left over from the war, and just odd stuff found around the neighbourhood. And off it’d go “WHOOSH’!!  And we’d clap and cheer and congratulate ourselves upon being part of the most CIVILISING thing EVER. A part of the British EMPIRE!. It made us proud to be SOMETHING!

Clary O’shea, wanted to bring an old oxy cylinder, and put it on top, but we all said; ‘nah, you’re not welcome cos you’re a BLOODY Catholic and we‘d rather BURN you instead”. We pissed ourselves laughing. 

Cecil on Guy Fawkes Night

But still. We all got excited, and just for the fun of it Dad asked Warragul and a couple of the old natives who lived down by the creek that if they’d behave emselves they could come along and watch. 

We all waited for the Bonny to start. For a bit of fun Roy Tomkinson chucked a whole 44 gallon drum of Av gas he’d had left over from servicing Wirraways when he was an aircraftsman at Point Cook. And the best part when Warragul bought up his family from the creek it was precisely the time that the AV gas was let go. Me and Cecil were behind the Anderson Shelter wearing tin helmets left over form Tobruk that Uncle Morrie had bought back. WE reckon that the special thing about Empire day it had a sort of Anzac thing to it, you know of blokes getting killed on some foreign field so that they may be a little bit more Aussie. 

Cecil about to let off the rocket that Dudded Grouchy Johnson’s eye.

The bloody thing went off at precisely the split second Warragul and his mob turned up. Jeez they didn’t half run for it, their hair on fire, and everyone of us, comatose through laughter, Seriously the funniest thing you’d ever seen.  They were good times. 

But now something has changed. Warragul and his mob have gone crook on Australia Day. Must be something about gay marriage or the fact the Bob and Dolly Dyer aint on telly. But the truth of it is that Australia Day aint the same. 

And the worst of it, Cecil has been lacing boots for the Bundanyabba Buggers for fifty years, we keep putting his nomination in and as per usual NOTHING!!

Not every one was happy about Empire Day either.

Only fuckn lawyers pollies and bureaucrats get em. Normal people are left out, Worst still we found that Warragul got one for community service, Howzat? Bastards nearly one hundred and never even worked for a living, and he reckons Australia Day is colonial bullshit or something, 

That’s the problem with it, they’re so bloody ungrateful. For being Civilised.

And the bastards who get em EXPECT IT. 

Still, I’ll put in Cecils nomination next year. He might win. 

All in good fun!!!

Cos you know as they say in the classics, You’ve gotta be in it to win.