Guy Fawkes. Replaced by Halloween. You’ve got to be joking!!

Dear reader, after some considerable delay, the pcbycp computer has at last tallied all the nominations for the ‘hatful of arseholes’ comp and come up with a clear winner. These have been difficult days, because as you would well understand, we at Pcbycp have a policy of even handedness. Some of the submissions were unprintable, and in keeping with the policy of mainstream political parties we were only able to accept nominations in the end that contained substantial donations. These donations have been put aside to assist us in our quest to have the Australia Wide ban on fireworks lifted, and the possible re-instatement of Guy Fawkes night as the most anticipated date in the yearly calendar.

Ray Hadley and Phil. Out of nowhere to claim Orange!! And (reputedly) big fans of bringing back Guy fawkes Night

Sorting the votes in the hatful comp. A Hurculanean task. ( as pompeii was ineligible)

In this respect we feel emboldened. You may say, “but surely that is a single issue catering to a very narrow spectrum of community interest”?. Yes indeed you could say that, but you would be wrong. Recent global events suggest that single issue interests can be election winners, and we at pcbycp have a view as to why. It’s not about ‘limousine liberals’ and the ‘chardonnay socialists’ yoke of political correctness being lifted. It’s not because of the all consuming wowserism of the nanny state and all the narrowing that it entails. But something much more significant. More significant even, than the commercialised sludge, (Halloween) foisted on the community as a sop to removing Guy Fawkes night, so that corporates can squeeze, the dumb, willing and compliant further. It’s a new re-allignment focused on having FUN. And it’s happening here.

From the backblocks of New South wales, The leader of the ‘I actually think shooting is great fun’, party Mr Phil Donato, was as pleased as punch to accept his historic occupation of a NSW lower house seat of Orange. Though he was unable to make comment as he was out on a kangaroo shoot his thoughts are anticipated just as soon as he’s finished cleaning the carcasses and visiting the dog food processor later in the afternoon.

Ordinary poor people having fun.

Unable to describe the jubilation felt by the members of the Orange community, the Prime Minister was able to give a quote at the latest Apec summit. ‘In a world changed since the Trump Presidency and the realignment of economic and intellectual boundaries the election of the IATSIF Party represents a seismic shift.

Small business and Phil, ( of the shooters) not big fans of Free Trade deals either.

‘I’m still rapt to the teeth in free trade and economic rationalism. Ordinary people out there, (and I really mean ordinary) just don’t know what’ we do for their own good. That’s why the free trade deals are done in secret. And now that same public, unemployed, unskilled and uneducated, clear winners of an open global capitalist system are unhappy. Why’s that? I have no idea? You just cant please all of the people all of the time, and in some instances that’s really is all of the time. if you are rich, have vast wealth, and have nothing of interest whatsoever in what poor people do, (incidentally that’s me), free trade is fucking awesome!! Without it we wouldn’t have a Bunnings, and land fill sites across the country would be empty. The “I actually think shooting is great fun’, party got in because we banned grey hound racing, Grey hound racing, though cruel, vile and unsupervised gave joy to lots of poor, uneducated simple folk. We hate poor uneducated simple folk. And the fact that they’re still trying to have fun, is just the last straw’.

Hmmm, The PM for thought bubbles my be right. This concept of the poor, the unwashed, and the tracksuit wearing as a constituency is just what Donald sided with and look at the result. Happiness for rustbelts. Happiness for those who yearn for the return of Guy Fawkes night, and bad news, really bad news for Puritans, wowsers and cultural elites everywhere. Who know about as much as having fun, as what to do with a hatful of arseholes!

Yesterday we linked to Ali Cobby Eckermann’s Sydney Review of Books Essay, “The place of Terrorism in Australia”.

Having watched the Four Corners (ABC) exposé of Residential Foster Care in Australia,  we republish one of Ali’s poems about family.

Kumana

There is no life
but family

When I am young
I live with my family

When I grow up
I leave my family

When I am lonely
I miss my family

When I am drunk
I reverse charge my family

When I pass away
I unite family

There is no life
but Family

Ali Cobby Eckermann  

Before we dispatch let us refer you to The Sydney Review of Books and a remarkable essay by Ali Cobby Eckermann titled “The place of Terrorism in Australia”  If you’ve not read a single dispatch then this essay is for you. If you’ve read every dispatch then this essay is for you.  This immensely sensitive writer, artist and poet yet again trains the blow-torch of inquisition on the soft underbelly of white Australia’s racism.  (Tomorrow we publish more from Ali’s award winning work “Ruby Moonlight”.

Read today’s dispatch, read Ali’s essay and sleep soundly.  If you can.

Now for today’s dispatch, which is  Poor Fellow My Country. Originally dispatched on 17 August  2015

Japanangka was arrested for “drinking in public” and subsequently died on 21^st May. Excerpts from the Coroner’s report:

“…died in a Darwin Police watch house cell, on a concrete bench with two strangers he had been housed with that evening…”

“…He was not causing any disruption before or during his arrest and at all times he was polite and cooperative…”

“…although the offence carried no term of imprisonment, Kumanjayi was handcuffed in public, placed in an iron cage in the back of a police van, transported away from family and friends, presented at the watch house counter with his arms still handcuffed behind his back, searched, deprived of his property, sat down and made to take his shoes and socks off and detained for some hours in a cell built to house criminals…”

“…In the last years of his life Kumanjayi didn’t work. He was always sitting down with the old people, having a cup of tea and talking to them. He also spent time with the young people. He would sit under the tree and the young people would see him and come and sit down. He talked to them and shared stories that had been told to him. We would call this tree, “the tree of knowledge.”…”

The “tree of knowledge” is less than thirty metres west from where I sit writing this. It is a large Athel Pine, classified In accordance with the Weeds Management Act as a: Class A weed “to be eradicated in all areas of the NT”. Where it stands, the possibility of it spreading are zilch. Over the years we have saved it several times from the tree police.

Six weeks before Japanangka died I introduced him (under the “tree of knowledge”) to a tourist called Joshua. Japanangka told Joshua about the Battle of Jericho in some detail. When I emailed Joshua about Japanangka’s death he replied: “What a sad news… he was such a gentle and knowledgeable person. I’m so sorry to hear this… “ This after a short single meeting.

The NT News under the headline “Booze law not to blame: AG”, reports that the NT Attorney General “has rebuffed criticism from the NT Coroner over his government’s controversial Alcohol Mandatory Treatment policy and paperless arrest laws saying two indigenous people who died in custody would have otherwise died in the “gutter”. What gutter would that be? [Remember? “…transported away from family and friends… “]

The AG is furthermore quoted as saying:

“…was brought to  Darwin to receive medical attention but instead went on a “taxpayer funded binge”. “Over the last 50 years the Australian community has shown enormous good will towards Aboriginal people” “Despite enormous  efforts…little has improved…” “Aboriginal lives will not improve until they , like anybody else, choose to improve their own lives individually”

In the Alice Springs News a prominent Alice Springs councillor wrote a lengthy comment criticising the Coroner. An excerpt:

“…the same kind of thinking that in the past has seen serious offenders, murderers, rapists, receiving lenient sentences and returned home to communities simply because they were of that origin without the slightest regard for the hellish effect that outcome had on those trying to live a normal peaceful civilized life within those communities.
The Coroner is requesting the removal of paperless arrest because they capture more Aboriginal people than other Community members, this apparently being discriminatory and divisive. Has it occurred I wonder to the Coroner, that these same laws may also “protect” more Aboriginal people, more women and kids from the results of drunken behavior?…”

[Remember?: “He was not causing any disruption before or during his arrest”]

These are the attitudes of those that have the power over and control life in the Northern Territory.

To paraphrase Xavier Herbert: “Poor Fellow my Territory”

Amazing Grace… how sweet the sound…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G72NucLEGM

Dear reader, submissions have been pouring in from our “Hatful of Arseholes” competition. From as far afield as the Kimberley and Cape York, the submissions keep coming. It just goes to show how strong is the desire for ordinary people to be heard. That’s a very real litmus test of where we now stand post U.S election.

This hat was way way too small. What was she thinking!!!

There’s been a lot of talk about the Trump ascendancy being the death knell of political correctness. We at pcbycp are not quite sure. Though it’s hard to assess the flow on effect of this competition already, even at this early stage, indicators suggest there are strong and sustained regional themes. From South Australia, amongst the numerous thousands of submissions we’ve received, there’s a strong case for “a Labyrinth of Lesbians” and a “Clerestory of Cross- Dressers”. From Queensland, “a Catafalque of Cantaloupes, (we think cantaloupe could be Queensland idiom for greenie), and ‘Panoply of Poofters’, which points to some recurrent deep seated homophobia. From the more progressive states of New South Wales, there seems to be a tight race between, and ‘Ossuary of Obeid’s’, or a ‘Crown of Cronies’, whilst in Victoria, a ‘Waffle-board of Wowsers’, and ‘Pseudo-sphere of Smug’s’ seem to be uppermost on the list. We’ve had a recurrent theme of a ‘Grunge of Greenies’, and “Ruckus of (very closely related) Relatives’, from Tassie. But the stand-out seems to be from W.A, where a ‘Miscellany of Moguls’ and a ‘Oligarch of Ore-Gatherers’ is gaining in every measurable way, Not much from the N.T yet, some indecipherable scrawls would suggest at the very least from some sector that a ‘Polymorph of Prisons’ seems to be out in front.

Big-noting hat.

Sad thing about Hillary losing the election, because she really cared about poor people . Barnaby on the other hand is doing what his lobbyists pay him to do. Warning Victorians against the perils of renewables. ‘Renewables will mean cheap electricity and cost jobs’. He’s quite right. Which consumer would want cheap electricity and see filthy archaic coal mining jobs go in favour of renewable industry jobs? Onya Barnaby. Working well for big coal and from what we see in the U.S of A, the strategy works.

This hat must’ve been ” Just Right”!

But the best standout winner from the entire U.S Circus Royale is from the P.M for innovation, thought bubbles, and ideas, Malcolm Turnbull himself. He reckons, Trump’s victory is an endorsement of his vision, which is singular, for ‘Jobs and Growth’. Onya Malcolm, you and your mates from the IPA justified nuking the entire fucking manufacturing industry so that highly trained, skilled technicians could work in call centres or wipe old bastards arses in nursing homes. You’re dead right. There’s gold to be made, (for a few) in the booming arse wiping industry. And that just goes to show. If you had a hat, as Barnaby does, you be able to fill it, with your very own hatful of Arseholes.

Malcolm’s own Innovation Boom Moment. ” Fuck! I thought it shone out my arse’!

Dear reader, Sir Tony Emo is credited with sending us today’s piece. He referred to the American critic, author, satirist etc, H.L Mencken who had some pretty salient things to say about the democratic process. Indeed, he gets the, ‘Mental Monday’ door prize. Since the Trump apotheosis we’ve been working hard to think who could have nailed this transformaton in contemporary society. Names of illustrious thinkers, H.G. Wells, (‘Shape of Things to Come’), Huxley, (Brave New World) and Bradbury, (Farenheit 451) have come to mind.  But none better than this inidvidual from Baltimore. There’s a sharpness and acuity that speaks of the O. Henry and Sinclair Lewis school of self tutored analytical thought. The substance of which one our esteemed patrons, the late W.C Fields would have doubtlessly approved.

Mencken obviously had a sharp wit and nailed the hypocrisies we associate with society. Good on him. And here’s three, that put together all you need to know about politics, religion, and the fear we all share for the great unknown in the early twenty first century. Perhaps we need to initiate a Mencken Institute.  Think tanks, ( the Lowy, the I.P.A, among some) recieve tax breaks these days. It would put us on a level with James Packer, a Scientologist, and other cranks of the lunatic fringe. Not just the hapless “basketfull of deporables’ but the ranks from Family First, One Nation, the Greens, the Liberal and National coalition, and the Labor Party.  We live in hope.

Incidentally, we are offering another competition. We feel miffed that the famous Barry Mckenzie-ism, “hatful of arseholes” was not made use of in the Clinton Campaign. This is the problem with contemporary politics, it’s full of wowsers. This competition asks; What other basket-full should Hillary have referred to?

The ‘what If’s’ are palpable. If Hillary had gone for ‘Arseholes rather than ‘contemptibles’, we believe she would have got over the line, Or in horse racing terms, an arse length in front.

Such is the stuff of history.

Today we continue with more poems from Ali Cobby Eckermann’s award winning novel Ruby Moonlight, following on from Harmony published back in April, and two poems published in June.

The massacre has taken place ‘a young woman sits like a rock’

Shadow

this survivor is a libra
of the Shadow tribe

who have lived here
since time began

in their passing
will anyone notice?

Birds

senses chattered by loss
she staggers to follow bird song    trust nature

chirping red-brown finches lead to water
ringneck parrots place berries in her path    trust nature

honeyeaters flit the route to sweet grevillea
owls nest in her eyes    trust nature

crimson wattlebirds turn shades of green
blue wrens turn camouflage-brown    trust nature

pied butcher birds lay trinkets in her path
grey fantails flutter a soft revival    trust nature

apostle birds flicker on the edge of her eyes
emus on the horizon stand like arrows    trust nature

       the woman turns
follows the emus

Ali Cobby Eckermann
Ruby Moonlight
Magdala 2012

Today’s dispatch is  Role Clarity. Originally dispatched on 27 July  2015

Hola,

If you’re not aware of my obsession regarding languages, you quite clearly haven’t been paying attention.

A few Dispatches ago I mentioned that a friend had regaled me with some prime examples of “Cop-speak”, inter alia:

…A Policeman in court uttered “ Members rushed into the bedroom and shot the deceased who was alive at the time”…

Another friend often regales me with examples of “Facilitator-speak”:

…You’re invited to this one day event for internal and external organisational and leadership development consultants. If you are interested in role and role clarity in all aspects of life, working systemically and mastering the unspoken language of leadership this experientially designed day with horses could be just what you’ve been looking for…

I can see clearly now…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrHxhQPOO2c

As one gets older there is an increasing incidence of “what if” and “if only” moments.

If only I had had the opportunity to take part in such an experientially designed day with horses, I wouldn’t have muddled during more than half a century without role clarity.

Alas, as my parents used to say: “Als hadden komt, is hebben te laat” (meaning: It is too late, when you use the verb conjugation ‘Had ’)

In amongst my parent’s photo albums there is a photo of a little boy sitting astride a horse in front of a gaucho. That little boy was I. Our home looked out on the edges of“el campo”, since well and truly swallowed up by urban expansion. Not far out, arrieros (drovers) plied their business bringing beef to the abattoirs.

Las penas y las vaquitas se van por la misma senda… las penas son de nosotros las vaquitas son ajenas… (sorrows and cattle follow the same trail, the sorrows are ours, the cattle belong to another) El arriero va:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPbw34Ju_o4

Our milk, bread and ice were delivered by horse and cart (with the horses firmly in front of the carts). Los arrieros, la lechera, and el panadero’s days with horses had not been experientially designed. None the less all had role clarity.

When Wendy was a little girl she use to ride her pony to school. Her days with her pony had not been experientially designed, but all the same, role clarity she did possess.

How different might the circumstances of Remote Aboriginal Australia be, had the perpetrators of the Intervention experienced an experientially designed day with horses?

Had they systemically mastered the unspoken language of leadership? Oh, if only!

Less than half a century ago most people in Yuendumu had role clarity. Stockmen still plied their trade on horseback. Every morning four unlicensed drivers would set off in all cardinal directions with four unregistered tractor & trailers with gangs of uninsured volunteer youth to gather loads of mulga firewood that were distributed around the camps. None were wearing bright yellow luminescent safety jackets. More recently the feral horse population around Yuendumu had exploded. More than one thousand horses were shot from helicopters. Apart from some token consultations, I believe Warlpiri people had no role in the cull. Old people often go without firewood. The most common contemporary role for Warlpiri people is as clients.

A few months ago a Dispatch featured Patrick Davies’ Rocky old Road:

And all they can take has been stolen…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFAdylvx34c

Often we have thought that all they can take has been stolen (stolen languages, stolen children, stolen liberty, stolen land, stolen futures) only to become aware of yet another theft:  Stolen roles!

All the tricks that are tried are not new
They’re just wrapped in gift wrapping paper
And handed as favours to you

So is our soon to be opened $7.6M Police Complex such a Gift Horse? Am I being ungrateful by looking in its mouth?

And no you can’t take all that you’re given
Oft times it means selling your soul

I think it is a Trojan Horse!

Chau,

Frank

PS-An experientially designed day with horses…. Mexican style….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV49Y9EEHr8

Tony and Eric. Two Great Leaders. Principled!

At last some good news in these troubled times. The PM. (of ‘thought bubbles, Ideas booms and Innovation revolutions) Malcolm Turnbull was on the blower to President elect Donald Trump and had a “very constructive talk”.

Aussie battler stands for Principle

We can only guess the two leaders talked about all the very special things that bind the two mighty democracies. There’s free trade deals and helping out our mates in the U.S on all the little wars we’ve been having since 1945. The P.M made it perfectly clear that Australia stands in lock step with the U.S. After the success of recent ventures in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Vietnam, and Korea, it’s a red letter day for the military and time, (as the P.M suggested) ‘to demonstrate strength in the South China Sea’. And the PM is not alone.

Since Trump’s victory, conservative ranks right across the land have jumped on board the Trumpo-caust and proclaimed their undying love for life beyond the ‘political elites’. George Christiansen, says “It’s time”. And then he quipped, ‘politicians need to listen to ordinary people’. Eric Abetz, proclaimed that; ‘No one is interested in socially progressive policy’. He hasn’t met any in his electorate, and knows what the ordinary person thinks, (we can’t doubt him). And sensing the winds of change our very own Pauline Hanson was on hand to congratulate Mr Trump and offer him the best wishes for the journey ahead. Emboldened, by the scale of the victory, the luminary Corey Bernardii, proclaimed the ‘Conservative Revolution’ has arrived.

Corey. Principle personified!

We can only agree this is a wonderful time to be a conservative. We at pcbycp can already sense the positive knock on effect. The vexed issue of climate change Is cured. There aint no climate change issue. Solved! The environment is in tip-top shape. No one could doubt it. Malcolm Roberts has all the facts to prove it. The Great Barrier Reef is open for business, and the ‘have-nots’ will get a lot more of the same. The (C.R.S.S) ‘Conservative Revolution School Syllabus’ will be the foundation of a nation building educational project. Evolutionary theory will be banned. English literature quarantined, and Science, melded with Religion and Witch-burning as a fundamental in years eleven and twelve. History will be just re-titled ‘ANZAC and Glory’ in which students form year prep to twelve will learn of the glorious, noble unquestionable annals of ANZAC.

All Aboriginal Australians will be jailed.

Tony Abbott will assume the title of ‘Area Leader’, (Centralia). “Centralia” is a new sub state encompassing most of the hinterland and allows free access to national parks and aboriginal reserves for the exploitation of the nations mineral assets. A nation building initiative to establish a purpose built jail in each remote community, and the promise of quick promotion for those prepared to work on such harsh environments. Any islands offshore will be hybridized to serve as both nuclear waste and immigration detention centres, and the residue vacancies as a consequence of mass deportations will be filled by Mexicans. Such is the breadth of the imminent, U’S Australia, ‘illegal aliens transfer partnership‘.

In the words of Peter Dutton, ‘a symbol of conservative unity and a message to any foreigner harboring terrorist tendencies that we will not stand for leftist principles of compassion, fairness and opportunity’.We at pcbycp can only agree, for above all, the conservative revolution is guided by Principle.

And that’s leadership. Goodonya Donald.

The REAL President

Dear reader, this extract was prepared as long ago as yesterday, and as a consequence is OUT OF DATE. But we’d like to congratulate Donald on his victory. He is a Real Estate Agent. This is great news for all Australians. A Trump presidency will be all about “Jobs and Growth”. And great news for the Property Council. So in a spirit of optimism, we pledge our fullsome support for a Trump presidency, and leave you with this deeply considered thought bubble.

A Great Man.

At last some stability, The U.S election will be over (more or less) as we read this over cornflakes, and muesli. It’ll be a comfort to know that one candidate or the other may have won. And the most reassuring thing is that all the issues raised during the election will be put to bed. We know that the Democrat candidate Hillary “preserve the status quo at any cost” Clinton would be a fine President. The Republican Candidate would also be quite good also.

Hillary has been seen with truly poor people during the course of the campaign and occasionally has paused to consider the trenchant issues of poverty, unemployment and the yawning gap between the have’s and the have nots. She really cares about the gap in equity, and as a consequence has made some pretty shrewd investments which will ensure that her business and economic foundation is rock solid. Whatever happens after this election, Hillary will stand for something. A big Pile of cash. And the wonder of synthetic collateral derivates. A wonder for democracy. A wonder for globalism and the certainty that if you’re rich, you’re safe from the evil of wealth distribution. And that is good for business. It offers certainty. And most importantly, offers global stability and the knowledge that somewhere in Africa or the Middle East a dirty little war can continue to employ all that’s good and progressive from the Military Industrial complex. Hail President Clinton Mark 2.

Great leadership. If you don’t believe us, go ask any Iraqi.

On the other side, we know that Donald Trump, the bombastic, rude mouthed caricature of business tycoonism will accept either defeat or victory with good grace. We know that the Republicans will accept the will of the people, and direct their funds to ensure that Donald Trump preserves all that’s good about America. As in Australia, the issue of Climate change, healthcare, education and tax reform is solved, and we can expect a brand new era of cooperation and conciliation between the haves and the have nots. Mr Trump, though divisive, and responsible for opening deep wounds in the socio political dialogue, will work hard to ensure that his Presidency represents ” all Americans”.  We also know that Donald, self made and fiercely independent, stands for all the virtues of good governance, and has made significant personal sacrifices to make his run for President.

Our very own George Brandis. Determined to uphold the nobility and respect we share for the rule of law. Real leadership at work.

So it’s all good news. We can expect a composed and unified America. We can dream together a new era in which nobility of spirit and generosity of deed will influence the maelstrom of global politics. And we can expect, after the debacle of the Bush presidency, the vision of the Obama Presidency and the legacy of all the reforms that have been blocked, stifled and killed off that this new era represents one of hope, optimism and enlightenment.

For business the news is good. There are still pockets of working america that haven’t been made redundant, and still more opportunities globally to ensure that the poorer countries do their share of heavy lifting. We are not alone. Australia expects the same from its near neighbour, New Guinea and East Timor. America, envy of the free world must do the same. As a consequence the Chinese and Russian Governments, admirers of liberty and freedom, will do their very best to ensure that this century proclaims an eternal message. Of Hope and Freedom.

To ensure; ‘Peace in our time”

Lord Ackney of Rozelle drew the attention of the editorial board to an interesting AEON Essay Are book collectors real readers, or just cultural snobs? by Frank Furedi.

Tarquin O’Flaherty responded thus

Tarquins father. An inspirational figure.

I was encouraged to join the child’s section of my Dad’s library as a kid. It seemed to be a natural progression from my old written comics to the breathless challenge of reading ‘a whole book!’

Stirring Tales of derring do

I began to collect books. I dreamed of bundling them up in greaseproof paper and burying them at marked, secret locations, to be exhumed when the maniacs had gone. Before I had even begun to draw up my maps a book by Ray Bradbury ((Fahrenheit 451) showed me a different approach. Mr Bradbury suggests that if just one person memorizes just one entire book, and we multiply that by millions, then very quickly every book in the world would be committed to somebody”’s memory.

Prescient, H.G Wells ‘Things to Come’, and Conan Doyle’s ” Study in Scarlet” …”warn of dangers of Communism and rampant homosexuality in the 21st Cent’. (C. Bernardii 2016.)

Those of us raised under the threat of Hitler, followed quickly by Stalin”s ‘Communism’, the Bomb, and the ‘Cold War’ had reasons to be afraid. Communism in the West was promoted as a dark and evil force, a Fascist force, a book-burning, Orwellian force, and capable, at any moment of completly overwhelming us.The West, stepping into the vacuum left by the Church, and adopting its tactics, led us to believe that the Devil, (the USSR ) was building weapons of such sophistication  that we”d all be wiped out tomorrow unless something was done! Only the West can save us, they cried. (By which they meant the USA, who were filling in for God) As a result of this we had the stupefyingly expensive  and utterly unecessary ‘Arms Race’. When the Wall fell, Soviet armaments were discovered to be Neolithic and the Yanks were discovered to be opportunistic, greed-driven liars.

The perils of children’s literature.