Dear reader, we are deeply disturbed by the current drift towards mild mannered republicanism under the auspices of Turnbullism. As a counter, we are deeply and profoundly impressed with this piece from our ‘Royal Correspondent’, Sir Atney Eames, (K.G. Q.C.OBE. M.C.OBE. V.D (and bar). Sadly for the majority of our readership, anticipating the telegram from Buckingham Palace, or Kiribilli they’ll just have to emigrate to New Zealand.
Sir Atney writes’
Shocked…. Absolutely outraged, is what I am!
Phil the Greek. In response to the question; ‘Is there intelligent life in the Antipodes’?
Unbelievably, that jacobite parvenue Malcolm Turnbull has just swept Australia’s knighthoods and damehoods right off the table.
Straightaway, our putschist PM utterly trashed the value of the knighthood granted as a spontaneous gesture of fealty to Philip, Prince of Greece, Denmark, Great Britain and British Occupied Ireland – and, only recently, also Knight of Australia. Talk about Lazy Majesty!
[EDITOR: shouldn’t that be ‘Lèse-Majesté’?]
It will be the coiffed and pomaded heads of we monarchists next, so prepare yourself for the ominous rumble of Turnbull’s tumbrils, ferrying the well-born condemned to the Guilotine.
‘How can ordinary Australians know who to look up to’?. A lachrymose Prince Charles learning that Tony Abbott will not be contributing any more new material for Goon Show Scripts.
Now, how can ordinary Australians know who to look up to? Where might they identify their betters with the least certainty?
And how are we to recognise and reward the inestimable contributions made by senior bureaucrats, the steady hands in our corporate boardrooms, those uncomplainingly dedicated to the promethean toils entailed in sitting on QANGO committees?
Where, indeed, are we to find worthy patrons to head our charities and public bodies: the Federation of Lawn Bowls Associations, the Royal Australasian Association of Proctologists, and the like?
Profound beauty. A leaf from the David Flint Scrapbook, (pages stuck together). Incontinental Drift. What Australia has almost lost. The cost INSURMOUNTABLE!!! Royalty, Breeding, Horseflesh, Corgis and Pimm’s No 5.
Clearly, this is only the beginnng. In short order, we will wake up to find we have become yet another tawdry republic. Stripped of the dignity and protection of the British Crown (not to mention the security of the Royal Navy’s ironclads), ours will be the indignity of being represented in the world’s halls of power by some home-grown, colonial oick unversed in how to negotiate their way through a state banquet’s silverware.
But there is yet time! Rally loyalists everywhere and stand behind Professor David Flnt and his Monarchists. Once the great unwashed realise they could lose the Queen’s Birthday public holiday and that never again will visits by young royals adorn the covers of magazines in doctors’ waiting rooms, surely they will reject all this egalitarian utopiansm!
Sir Atney Eames