Doing what Britons do best, Queueing and remenbering the glory days of Dunkirk.

Boris. Batting for Empire.

Dear reader, We’ve been getting a lot of press lately about the disaster of brexit. The commentary is all doom and gloom. If you believe the “Fake news” about brexit you’d be convinced that the divorce from Europe is a total disaster. On paper it looks that way. Some say: “Why any dynamic progressive economy would eschew an economic bloc of some 500 million people to keep a few foreigners out is beyond belief’. And as major corporations move offshore, (excepting News Limited which owns the U.K) and British industry, (what’s left of it post Cameron) struggle to find new markets and deal with the fallout of trade barriers, tariffs and non preferential treatment, there’s little on the surface that looks bright.

Rupert. Happy with brexit. Now he can rule Britain, the U.S and Australia ALONE.

Still, Britain is firmly determined to focus on what it does best. The recent release of Dunkirk is a perfect vehicle for presenting the sort of stiff upper lip stoicism the poms are famous for. It all suggests a new way forward. Forget about being part of the modern world, go to a beach somewhere, anywhere, and queue orderly and wait to be taken back “home”. Whatever you can say about Brexit it’s a mere carbuncle on what Britons are truly great at. And that is, remembering just how great it was during the war. All that sacrifice, the rationing, and the stoicism as “We”, Britain and the “White Empire” held the fiendish scourge of fascism at bay. And in doing so, return to a the glory days of postwar austerity, cold porridge, lost empire and bingo.

Sumptuous interior of the Armstrong Siddlely saphire’s bakelite knobs and dials.

That’s why Boris Johnston is here in Australia. He’s got a plan. A cunning plan. He’s worked out what makes Britain tick. Re-girdle the word in the noble crimson thread of Empire and re-unite, even the coloured parts of Empire. They also serve. With Boris’s arrival we may see once again, scores of ships set sail from Glasgow, Southhampton and Bristol brimming full with brand new Morris’s, Austin’s, and Armstrong Siddeley’s. This is a new dawn for British can-do-ism. And from the adoring colonies, the oceans will once again be British. As we send them, the Mother country, a flotilla of merchant ships brimming full with wheat, beef, lamb, and dairy products. And dripping.

The Commonwealth will be reborn as EMPIRE. Those putative sabre rattling empiricists, (be warned Russia and China) will stand back and hold their breath, for when the lion, roars, the echo, stilled since we took our eye off the north-west frontier, will rejoice.

And what new industry will Australia establish in this new vision of Empire? What will we do to breathe new life into the automotive industry we wilfully killed to keep our ideology pure? The Minister for technology and Industry , Mr Christopher Pyne, has the answer. “Bakelite”.

Brexit’s silver lining.

Making Briton GREAT AGAIN. The U.S will be allowed back in, if Donald apologises to the Boy Scout Movement.

The first two new french submarines, “Le merde” and “le toilet” will be re-fitted with Australian made bakelite. And our very own southern radio telescope network will e refitted with bakelite. And, all goods manufactured in China, some 99. 9% of them will have Australian made labels proudly proclaiming that bakelite and Empire is reborn. It’s truly the dawn of a new era.

Australians, be proud.

And be Safe.