Malcolm, the poor kiddie who came fom a broken home.

Poor Malcolm, you may think he is a popular stereotype of the Thurston-Howell the third plutocrat, but there’s a raft of ads on social media describing his humble roots. Malcolm knows all about struggle and did it tough as a little kiddie. You see, he was bought up in a broken home, his mum walked out on them, and Malcolm had to grow up fast. This makes him more human, he gets how hard it must be for those at the bottom.

Malcolm, a precursor to politics, performing Shakespeare with cast at Sydney Grammar.

He was well and truly at the bottom of the ladder of social opportunity as a little kiddie, before his poor ol dad took him along to Sydney Grammar. At Grammar he got to hang around with a lot of other really really destitute, impoverished kiddies. Some of them also from broken homes. Malcolm did it tough, and learnt to persevere over the willful bullying of the prefects in the upper twelth, it was a test of character and Malcolm triumphed. At Sydney Grammar, Malcolm became the school captain, that’s before he went on to get his Rhodes, scholarship, (now seriously diminished since Tony Abbott got one, via Dyson Heydon), a tour de force for a kiddie from a broken home who’s dad had to send him to Sydney Grammar to learn about poverty.

Poor Malcolm gradutating from Law.

Poor Malcolm, another recipient of the Rhodes Scholarship.

After graduating from law, Malcolm became a barrister, another haven for outcasts and the impoverished in society. He  became famous for the Spy-catcher case, defending an ex Mi 5 operative from telling a whole load of rubbish. Malcolm won, against the might of a seriously depleted British Empire. It demonstrated once again Malcolm’s cause to fight for the underdog.

Major setbacks in a hard life. Malcolm, pushing the republic.

That’s why he got involved in the republican movement. It took a lot of guts from people right across the political spectrum who just happened to be rich and influential to push for a republic. That wily little thug Johnnie Howard, who had the most deplorably middle of the road lower working class childhood in suburban sydney out-witted all these clever, innovative, forward thinking people. Perhaps through that process Malcolm learnt something. It’s dangerous to think big, talk big instead, and act upon those words with an over-arching ambition, to think irrepressively small. It worked for John E Howard. It should work for Malcolm also.

He buried that idea in his subconscious. The public all cheered, Malcolm for the underdog. He’s such an underdog, he’s made a fortune out of selling pubic assets, pocketing squillions and allowing some of his mates to climb the ladder of opportunity. That’s what he learnt as a little single dad kiddie, at Sydney Grammar. Then, cos we all liked the resolute, articulate man of vision and reform, we rejoiced when he replace the snide, insular negative man of the three word slogan, ‘Tony Machiavelli Boxer Abbott’. And then shorter than it took to say ‘hedge fund’ or ‘collateral synthetic derivative options’, Malcolm changed. He became the snide, insular negative man of the two word slogan.

Mr and Mrs Thurston Howell 111. Done it hard to represent ordinary Australians.

Allegedly held in sway by the same school bullies in the upper sixth. It was a test of character and Malcolm retreated. Into a box , a much smaller box marked, ‘Two word slogan’.

What happened to the articulate, reformist visionary?? Nothing, he was always there, and now he’s letting us know that to talk big, you’ve gotta think impressively and irretrievably small.