Dear reader, the vexed issue of donations to political parties has raised its ugly head again. It seems there’s nothing we, (the electorate) can do to stop it. Still though, it’s reassuring to know that somebody else’s kleptocracy (China’s) is prepared to do some of the heavy lifting our locals aren’t prepared to do. Things have got to a sticky end in Canberra, there’s only so much lobbying local interests can do. And then there’s the multinationals who have to chip in to do their own bit of lobbying.

New Free Lunch Menu covers in distribution to Parliamentarians. Includes proper investment advice and free first class tickets for family members. (Hurry, Discount bonus lasts till end of November)

Imagine being a lobbyist, now with such a diverse cross bench, they’re running willy nilly along the corridors of Canberra, looking for accessible pollies to lobby. And some, (the celebrated Malcolm Roberts) don’t even need to be lobbied really hard in the first place. He’s a fully fledged independent thinker, who already believes that coal is good for humanity, that the earth is six thousand years old, and that education is utter rubbish. A lobbyists dream you might ask? Well sort of, but it’s not the same sending buckets of cash to individuals who already wholeheartedly agree with your position. There’s a thrill in the chase, and getting reasonably intelligent politicians to avert themselves from a principled, reasoned, and public spirited disposition to one of kickback and naked self interest requires some finesse. There’s considerable satisfaction in the process by thus converting the principled. That’s the art. And for a lobbyist from Big Coal for example, it’s a sense of absolute triumph in making pollies believe that they’re on the right side of history, by killing eco systems and enhancing our extinction.

That’s why this cross bench is so frustrating, Some of them are up for anything, no questions, no argy bargy, and it’s just not challenging. Poor form all round we should think.

 That’s what’s so good about China. China isn’t just one self-interested lobby group. They aint no Peabody peddling coal, nor a nice benevolent plutocrat like Adani, Chevron, or Transurban. Those firms just lobby hard for the principle of the trickle down effect, general despoliation, and naked self interest, pay no tax and society be buggered. China though is a whole system. A complete box, dice and all, nation state. And the leadership more bent than the proverbial banana. And I’ve got to say, even more influential than the Property Council.

 So when the Panda comes knocking on your door, you’d better listen. Another political maxim; ‘never look a gift Panda in the mouth”. And not only will you be lobbied well, nice dinners, trips and other trinkets, you’ll get to sit with the big boys in Beijing. They’ll say really nice things about you, and you’ll get good reviews in the local press. There is the odd catch, you may have to toe their party line, but that’s small beer, cos the party line is one big conga where everyone wins. Sort of kind of an inner circle. And though they say ‘there’s no such thing as a free lunch’, well that’s the general public and in China they don’t get a look in either.

 Either way, it’s the future, and it’s looking good. And though there seem to be lot of people sleeping on the streets these days, you know that with the trickle down effect, they’ll be better off. That’s how economics works. And in China they’ve been doing it for thousands of years. And they won way more medals in the Olympics. So join in line, and party hard. By the way, how do you say “ free Lunch” in Mandarin?