The Pcbycp Catalina arrives at Tuvalu for the Forum

Dear reader, it is not often we get invited to a major summit. It therefore came as quite a surprise when we received from the Prime Minster of Tuvalu an invitation to  attend the Pacific  leaders summit. We were puzzled as to why we were invited to such an event until we realised, it was probably as a consequence of the recent trip we took as a team building exercise in the Whitsundays.  Clarrie threw an empty  bottle of Passion Pop over the side with a note attached. It read, ‘ whoever receives this is to be rewarded with a replacement full bottle and entitled to a lifetime subscription to Esquire magazine and a carte d visite  from the publishers of pcbycp. In a word . Who could resist? And besides, Clarrie is the ‘full bottle’ on the  Pacific Islands. He was at Lae when we kicked the Japs out and has real scars to prove it. 

Scomo prepares for the Mardi Gras. Everyone likes to get Lay’d in the Pacific.

It was half the fun in just getting there. We couldn’t afford entry onto the press jet that departed Canberra  and instead had to charter a Catalina. And if you know anything about Catalina’s they take an awful long time to get to the destination. We also bought along our float. It was our intention to drive the float at the opening of the summit, and declare our commitment to taking action on climate change. The float was ingenious, a papier-mache island in a Clark pool, (toddler Size) with a dirty great ice-block in it. The idea was as we toured the float up and down the main street, (Tuvalu has only one main street) the ice would melt and the little paper mache island would go underwater. We knew with the international press, we’d get good coverage and as a consequence, would be very rich. 

After arriving we unpacked the pool and the island and waited for the festivities. There were lots of photo opps, all these people dressed in lais, and all the nations of the Pacific, hanging out and drinking daquiries outta coconuts. The delegation from  China was here and were halfway onto putting us in a compound for re- education till we told em this was not their sovereign territory,………………………….. yet. 

Scott Morrison spoke about Australia having a brilliant track record in killing eco systems and native people, and he laughed when the P.M of Tonga cried about loosing his own  people.  Scomo Shrugged, and said,  “GET OVER IT!. A real test of leadership.  We applauded. And when he said, “is it too much to ask for a COLD beer on this island” we hi- fived till our hands hurt.  

Could’ve been much more fun without a KILLJOY!

Still, he showed compassion and promised not to visit new Zealand till after they’d got rid of their lefty PM Jacinta Hardon. 

Sadly, it was when the pacific islanders threatened to blow the proceedings up with an unexploded piece of ordnance left over from the Bikini Atoll business, that we decided to pull out the float. But the fridge had broken down, the cart had flat tyres, and the papier mache island was just a lump of goo. 

All up, a bit of a fizzer. 

Still it was good to see Strayla stand tall on principle, and telling little nations to get stuffed. 

They’re all dis, cos they don’t have Huge reserves of COAL!!

It  made us proud. 

We’re staying in Tuvalu, just as long as it takes to sell off some items to these nice people from China and pay for the fuel . Cos Catalinas don’t run on kava alone 

Aloha, (as they say in the classics)

The old phone booths were just around the corner from the clocks

The photobooth is still there

In the olden days, before the internet, and I-phones, if you wanted to make a call in the big city, a physical telephone call in a public place, you had to race along to Flinders Street Station. And along the St Kilda Road frontage in tight array, a whole line of phone booths, with lovely varnished wooden and glass doors would allow you to have a conversation away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. Inside the booths, there was a bench for a telephone book, and all around the walls little perforations created a sound deadening effect. In this strange, snug and  insular environment you were alone with your thoughts.  To communicate down the line, and thus, ensure the threads of commerce and industry were upheld. And logically, this teleporting hub was  situated smack bang along the main thoroughfare at Flinders Street. At the station itself. Where  silver tendrils ferried trainloads of commuters to all corners of suburbia. Where they’d go home to Eric Pearce, six oclock news and Bob and Dolly Dyer. It was  where SP bookies could get the latest scratchings other than  the corner barber. A lover could call his sweetie without the folks hearing and upon a pre arranged signal, a phone would ring at a particular booth, and shady business deals would be transacted. These booths were the progenitors of life and culture. . It also proclaimed in a funny sub-colonial kind of way, ‘Modernism’. 

A bit like this…

In another institution other little boxes proliferated across the suburbs. Perhaps bigger ones in the city itself for high usage. These little booths were for communication of another sort. 

It seems uncharitable to assume too much. The sanctity of the confessional is sacrosanct. And why shouldn’t it be. It’s where little secrets can be kept secret. It also does more than that.   It works as a sort of kind of semi sound-proofed cell to report messages through a medium to God. 

New Archbishop upholding confidentiality of sacred portal so that kiddies may be punished for their SIN!

In them olden days, priests could quietly gain material for later masturbation. Single girls could be punished if they fell pregnant, and serial sex offenders would be pardoned by a small donation and a ‘Hail Mary’. It was of its time. No questions asked, discretion assured, and in a direct hookup to God. The absolution would be all conquering… well… absolute. 

So upstairs, in the great cosmic teleportal, He’d (God) be on the red phone, listening to all the cross talk, the wicked and the pure, and quietly pull himself off. Cos listening in on other peoples conversations is a little creepy. An exctasy of shadenfreude. United in that all-consuming principle that Rupert Murdoch so readily plays upon. Guilt and the crisis of original sin.  Empires are built on it. 

Kiddly fiddling is a sin. It fucks kids up for life. But if a member of THAT clergy hear about it he’s not obliged to do anything. That’s tradition. A tradition made by old men, (like God) to keep women and kiddies in a lower place. Buggerising kids is against the law.  But the church has let it be known it is above the law. Their message to little kiddies, ‘You are all tainted with original sin, we can’t help it, Go way and Die!! And if we hear about it, we won’t lift a finger. Communication in gods teleportal is our secret. Not society’s secret’.

Churches don’t pay taxes, They’re charitable. 

Is there any charity in their bloody mindedness?

Diamond Embossed handcuffs and truncheons a steal at $15,000 ea. (limits apply to individual customers)

It has come to our attention that all this protesting is doing a lot of harm to Hong Kongs Image. It’s all very well struggling for democracy, but the latest reports tell us it’s having a very significant impact on shopping. Not ordinary folk ducking out to get their groceries. Nor a student running down the street to purchase some sticky rice. A mother collecting some dumplings from the corner rickshaw driver. Or a child summoning apples from Ah Fook the vegetable gardener. 

“Ping” first prediction of the worlds reaction to Hong Kong protests.

(Dear reader, to get an idea on how contremporary Hong Kongers deal with foodstuffs, we reccommend the excellent publicaton ‘Ping the Peking Duck’, or Horace Beanpole’s, ‘The White Rajah of Stanley’. Both are excellent publications and indicate  in stunning detail the daily life of the peasantry.)

Peasants work the rice fields, they construct canals with their bare hands, and know how to deftly apply manure to new crops. Peasants live in small allotments, have no real rights, and are called to sacrifice themselves at the whim of a warlord, or senior officlal. The peasants life is short, miserable and without the luxury of imagination and hope. Though the students, and their cohort from main stream Hong Kong Society are protesting, (even members of the Hong Kong judiciary), they are wasting decent law abiding citizens time.  They must remember that in the greater scheme of things they are just peasants.  And worse still they are disrupting the prime function of Hong Kong aa a destination for really really filthy rich mainlanders who want to buy up big. 

Guaranteed, wipeable and tear gas repellant facial scrub. A bargain at $5550. 00 per item. (Discount to approved party members)

That’s the beauty of Chinas version of communism. Those in power get to buy really expensive shit that looks the same as anywhere else. They queue up outside stores that are the same as anywhere else in the world, and they pay megabucks for shit that’s the same as anywhere else in the world.  And why?

Cos it’s expensive

It has a label

And the label says  “Fuck you peasantry i’m rich and I HATE LOATHE and DETEST anything that gets in my way to  be a stinking rich consumer of luxury items”. 

See.. This is how rioting for democracy KILLS Enterprise. 

Truncheon resistant handbags. A steal at $20.225.00. (Discount rate to Politburo members)

These students and firebrands need to be told. Luxury goods are sitting idle in the shelves. Airports are being hindered in their capacity to allow plane loads of high level communist party members to buy up big, and it’s putting off tourists. And one things tourists hate, are pro-democratic students being shot, gassed and beaten up by triads. It deflates their appetite for shopping. 

Tourists don’t want to see democracy at work, they want to see something  like Disneyland or Dubai. The fact that people who work there get paid nothing is no concern to them. It’s their fault cos they haven’t got a better job. 

So listen ratbag protestors. This rioting must stop. What are you rioting for? 

Clearly you’re not interested in helping the super rich? 

Haven’t you heard of the trickle down effect?

It’s the primary and sole policy plank of the Australian Government policy! 

And why do you persist? Is it because you’ve forgotten your role as peasantry?

“Capitalism and Communism are the same” (Confucius)

You will be crushed. So that law abiding folk may continue shopping.

.

And don’t look to Great Britain. It aint great any more, and Boris wont help you. 

Cos he likes expensive labels and fine wines just as any communist party member does. 

And as any Hong Kong bookseller will tell you…

“Dont judge a book by its cover”.

And on foreign relations Boris has read the lot. 

“Ping, the Peking Duck” on China

“Biggles in Borneo”, for South East Asia

And Wisden for test match batting averages and a comprehensive insight into Australia

And he also knows a bit about Latin, and as Tacitus once said: ‘Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges’

“The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws”, 

Good thing no-one in government in Australia reads Latin anymore. 

What’s the Cantonese for Brexit?

Kenny. CLUELESS!!!

Kenneth Hayne

He reckons trust in institutions and governance is practically buggered. 

He couldn’t be MORE WRONG. 

Ken says;

“Reasoned debates about issues of policy are now rare. (Three or four word slogans have taken their place),”

“And political rhetoric now resorts to the language of war, seeking to portray opposing views as presenting existential threats to society as we now know it.

SHAMELESS!

“Trust in all sorts of institutions, governmental and private, has been damaged or destroyed.”

Our question to Kenny is, Where the fuck have you been all these years? Or in Latin, (as the current Brutish P.M is fond to quote; “ Post hoc ergo propter hoc” which is Roman for What the..!!

The streets are full of homeless. Wages haven’t grown in four trillion years, the middle class are being wiped out, and all Hayne can do is point to the bleeding obvious!!  That’s what becomes of being a retired High Court judge. He’s got it all wrong.  Why couldn’t he just take the easy way out by writing his memoirs, become a governor of some second tier state, or just join the board of AMP? There’s no such thing as dysfunctional governance, and what’s wrong with lobbyists running government? 

GORMLESS!

Look at all the good things they’ve done. 

They’ve thwarted a detailed look into the corrupt practices of the banks. And in doing so kept confidence in the banking system.. 

They’ve enouraged the tax-payer to fork out billions for some froggy submarines, that’ll be commissioned in the 2030’s. 

They’ve given some fantastic jobs post-parliament to struggling pollies who find it hard to afford a third or fourth investment property, 

And they’ve put a lid on the unreliable and catastrophic influence of democracy. 

BASELESS!

You only need to take a look at  Hong Kong to realise that democracy is worse than Collingwood winning a Grand Final. Democracy buggers up business. How can BIG COAL survive without tax breaks, free resources, off-shore havens and dodgy accounting? So whether you’re a big cotton producer on the Murray Darling, a coal miner on the central coast, a nuclear energy lobbyist looking for a new gig or just a big bloke who just happens to be white, conservative and middle aged, the last thing you want.. for efficiency’s sake, for investment sake, for return to the shareholder’s sake is an effing democracy. 

They got rid of compulsory student unionism and elected representatives and now we have efficient universities run direct from CHINA! And… they’re on TIME!

We at pcbycp endorse entirely the strategy undertaken by the federal governemt to punish POOR PEOPLE.  

Bu endorsing tax cuts for the wealthy we’ll have even more homeless in the streets. Their ranks will swell like the dams taking water from an inland river system. Their ranks will soar like the cost recouped from robo-debt. And their faith in democracy will be destroyed. So  they can be cowered and HUMBLE!

EMOTIONLESS!

So Kenny’s got it all wrong.  The little people are going down. He’s a big guy why should he worry? 

He’s a traitor to his class, and if he doesn’t like it, there’s no use going the Julian Burnside, cos no one is listening. 

Some say what Kenny is complaining about are “rent seeking”. corporations.

That’s where Kenny got it wrong

HOMELESS!

It’s progress!

Only a strong man. A DEALMAKER can stop the shootings!

What the U.S needs to do to stop mass killings. 

HE UNDERSTANDS the rules of the GAME!!

Any balanced objective, reasonable individual would have to admit something must be done about all the shootings in the U.S. It just seems unstoppable. And no matter which way you look at it the strategies to thwart mass shootings seems to be elusive. And that’s probably because whichever way you look at it, America is swamped with foreigners, people of colour and irreligious people. Worse still people who seek Islam as a spirtual belief. 

But the crisis doesn’t end there. 

There are gays, trans-sexual types, and between the adjective “Normal” and “Trans- gender’, there is a whole subset of people you would clearly cross the street to avoid. 

That’s a terrific problem faced by the average American. 

It’s one that challenges clean living white peoples’ moral code on a day to day basis. 

Iconic deal maker in America’s olden days.

And besides being confrontational, unnerving and catastrophic, It’s an affront to God. Yes folks, the right kinda God. That genial bloke who looks a bit like Father Christmas. He’s white with silvery grey hair and he’s all seeing and HATES Transgender, foreign, coloured non Aryan people. And if you don’t believe him, go read the Old Testament, and it’s there in clear print. As an unalterable FACT!

This is CLEARLY the reason why Amercians must arm themselves.  Latest statistics show us that there’s half a dozen guns for every man woman and child.  And it’s proven that’s what’s keeping them SAFE! Without those guns, the place would be worse than Syria, Iraq, or Afganistan, or anywhere else we’ve tried to civilise with military intervention. 

Either way you’ve GOTTA WIN. No one wants to be a No-Good LOSER!

Just look at home. If we had the same gun carrying statistic, we wouldn’t have to worry about African Crime Gangs, the embarrassing spectacle of angry women demanding abortion rights, and Franking Credits as the greatest piece of legislative innovation since Federation. That and tax cuts have succeeded in spite of the fact that we’re all unarmed, and vulnerable. 

So take heed. 

The American approach to guns is way more cerebral than we think. The John Wayne characterisation is cheap and outmoded. These days The US is way way more Bruce Willis. Also the fact that they have a gun toting culture means clean living people have guns to protect their credentials in a society. And that society seeks to purge itself of undesirables. And ensurre that those who cannot work, those that are poor, those who will never ever be able to afford a house, are KEPT OUT! Occasionally someone goes crazy, but that has nothing to do with GUNS!  They’re just crazy. But you’ve gotta hand it to em, (those Crazies) they act on PRINCIPLE. And principles enshrined by the number one, Not God silly…… but DONALD!

Moving Forward. Be a winner. Money always comes out on TOP!

If you’re angry, GET EVEN. If someone has done you wrong, Get EVEN!  If you’re pissed off about all of the above GET EVEN!! And the reason why,  is to to do with an all consuming HATE Filled Gun CULTURE!!! 

And the existential threat of ourselves, living in a society that it aienating, triumphalist and promises nothing for those who cant play the game.  

Donald had a book published . He knows all about games. 

He knows the culprit also. 

And what societal game is this? 

Video games?

Bruce demonstrates the pen is mightier. PEN ” pointy end negotiation”

You’re kidding… Huh? 

The Catholic Boys Daily relied on a great deal of xenophobia in the olden days just to keep the circulation going. Cos foreigners pose an EXISTENTIAL THREAT!.

Bloody hell, since they closed down “Der Sturmer”, its been hard these past seventy five years to get a gig where you can preach with some passion, your entitlement to destroy untermenschen. But we’re impressed with the Conservative Political Action Conference. 

We need more conservative political Action. Preserve the right to be a BIGOT! And learn with all your heart to HATE!

Not much has changed.  We need to be warned of foreigners infiltrating and destroying our sacred way of life.

Just a snippet, with a clinical analysis from Pat Dodson. He needs to be told no one is listening, and he should stop complaining.  And a reminder that it’s entirely fair that George Christiansen charge the taxpayer to attend this hate speech filled cauldron of entitlement. Cos he’s a middle aged white male, who knows an awful lot about travel to the Phillipines. Do you think he’s ever heard of Julius Streicher? Or is he tutored in the Fraser Anning school of “I had no idea that final solution could be an offensive term”? Strange times, and credit to the Catholic Boys Daily for giving it the publicity it deserves. Over to you Pat. 

Pat Dodson has also spoken out in the Senate against the Cpac conference speakers:

This could be a pantomime. This is a serious matter for the integrity of Australia.

I stand in support of my colleagues Senator Wong and Senator Keneally in expressing concern about this conference, CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, and about the standards that our leaders, particularly the Prime Minister, need to make clear when it comes to the participation of leaders from this place and other places.

In the US, CPAC is an annual political conference attended by conservative activists and elected officials from across the United States. CPAC is hosted by the American Conservative Union. Now we have CPAC down under, with a conference in Sydney from 9 to 11 August.

George and Pauline know about the threat posed by foreigners with evil agendas. Who….. LURK IN OUR MIDST!!!

What’s this about? Is this a sign that our fierce Australian characteristics of independent thinking are finally capitulating to rejected offerings from overseas?

There was a time when we were concerned about how our national discourse was informed. Now it looks like we’re submitting to poisonous ideas without reflection. You can buy a Reagan VIP Freedom Pass to the conference for $599. No one from Newstart will be there; that’s more than their fortnightly allowance. The one-line blurb promoting CPAC in Sydney bills the conference as a chance to ‘learn’, ‘have fun’ and ‘protect the future’. Learn – what are they going to learn? What do those attending hope to learn from rightwing proselytisers from other hemispheres?

Andrew has warned us and warned us again, about the EVIL and INSIDIOUS influence of Foreigners! Onya Andrew!

Why should our political discourse be polluted by imported poisons and propaganda? Fun – locked up in a conference room with a clique of visiting rightwing nutters who shouldn’t be allowed in the country. Protect the future – God save us, if all of those that are in this bunch see themselves as our protectors.

Mr President, I invite you to go to the Cpac website and take a look at the line-up of visiting speakers. Some of them shouldn’t be allowed in this country.

They obviously have not come by boat! That should not be the reason for them being banned from coming here – they are more likely to fit into an ‘intellectual terrorist’ category than that of a tourist. Their demagoguery is a danger to democracy.

Australia is so intent on protecting its borders from refugees, but how about protecting our borders from prejudiced zealots and intellectual terrorists?

Why do we need to hear the US congressman with a questionable record, Trumpified and infecting Australian politics?

And what’s there to learn about rightwing Americans? Or why do we need to hear from someone who is promoted as a ‘British political activist’–someone who is really a racist bigot?

Don’t we have enough homegrown fascists and fanatics? We already have too much homegrown bigotry and racism in our country. Cpac has taken to social media to defend their invitation to this man. Apparently Cpac is proud to have him at the Sydney conference, arguing that free speech is at stake here.

Like both of my colleagues, I am a strong defender of free speech, but, like my colleagues, I reject any right to hate speech.

This is the EVIL that WILL DESTROY our Society!!

We already have enough homegrown bigots and racists in Australia. Extremism should not be allowed into our country. And if Cpac sees itself as the exemplar of Australian conservatism – look out, everyone. It’s time for the Prime Minister to act on this matter, as it is a threat to our nation.

(Editor) Sorry Pat, bit like Climate Change. No one is listening.

Damian Lovelock is dead… “Who the Eff” is Damian Lovelock I hear you say??

Damian was the frontman for the Celibate Rifles. They’re a band out of Sydney

Sort of proto punk, garage, Ramone-ish with a rough edged ancestry dating back to the founding principles of Aussie pub rock. Which curiously enough has nothing to do with chest thumping nationalism, but more piss-take, pissante…..and just straight piss.

He was witty, erudite and loved footy. But I’m afraid not the right kind of footy, that other code played to the north of Wagga, and to the north East of Albury.

They were never successful, because they lacked the neccesscary discipline and committment to be successful. And of course they knew deep down thst success of the commercial kind would destroy their artstic impulse. Music becomes muzak within a heartbeat, if you don’t believe me, talk to Paul Macartney. This of course gave them legendary status and immortality. You would never hear their songs on commercial radio, and if you ever did, you would be instinctively conditioned to smash their records. To be quite honest they weren’t really that good. But being average and having little commercial success makes them stratoshperically famous. And as famously quipped, “More famous-er still now they’re dead”

I own a Celibate Rifles record. It came out in the early eighties and was called “Sideroxylon”. This, (dear reader) suggests an intellectual grasp of native flora that suggested code. Not deep and meaningful, because that would be akin to the torture of listening to Carol King, or worse still… Cat Stevens. The album had a nicely dawn picture of an ironbark. And employing a visual pun, and eye, an all seeing eye was inscribed onto the actual trunk of the tree. Get it. “Eye On Bark”

Anyway, the poor bugger, wrote, sang, indulged in social commentary and enjoyed the capacity to tell a story fully and colourfuly. The poor bugger is dead now. And for todays treat this little stanza from his song. More like doggerel than verse, but pithy in a “Catcher in the Rye” kinda way.  This is a fragment from his “Song of Salvation”…

We’re getting older but no more wise

I’m looking but I don’t believe my eyes

Kids with machine guns selling crack

I’ve never seen a hearse with a luggage rack

One thing baby I know is true

You make it but you can’t take it with you

Dear reader, recently we had the privilege of flying to an unknown destination, on an unfounded journey to an implausible end. Apart from being fascinated as to how “tight” seating is on planes these days we were fascinated to see that everything edible was covered in layers of plastic. It’s reassuring to know that by plane travel we are doing our bit to destroy the planet, but surely something must be done about needless packaging.

The following is a thoughtful suggestion. sent to the CEO of Qantas, Mr Joyce, It reads:

Dear Alan, 

Before flight became dull, congested, and boring.

I am an  infrequent flyer. As a consequence of this I feel it is my duty to offer you a couple of “thoughtful”, (perhaps even in this instance considered), suggestions which may improve the operating and service function of your fine aircraft. 

It is obvious, that you have made remarkable progress in offering to your passengers food in cardboard containers. It is a great comfort to know that the food now resembles in every detail both the consistency and texture of the containers they are served in. This singularity of attention to detail must be applauded. 

But, there is still more work that could be done to ensure that QANTAS, word renowned for safety is a leader in the sustainable delivery of in-flight refreshment. 

These suggestions are made without prejudice, and it is anticipated that you will look upon them with an open mind and spirit of enthusiasm, which your airline is  so readilly associated with. 

When all the world was coloured soft pink

Drinks: Do drinks have to be served in plastic?

I remember fondly when I used to travel to Singapore in the Empire Class Flying Boat “ Cooee” and drinks were served in anodized aluminium beakers. These beautiful vesels were individualy designed and embossed with the QANTAS logo. Prized posessions for souvenir hunters and collectors alike. Couldn’t we celebrate this golden age of flying with a return to a more durable and re- usable alternative to common plastic?

Wine and beer could be served in glasses poured from casks, or Barrels?

Stylish, comfortable and exclusively snooty! Before the entire world and every international destination looked like CHADDY!

A flight attendant, acting as somelier on board could allow passengers to savour the delights of Australian wines and beer with samples and tasting as part of the in-flight experience. Rather than the rather tawdry descent into pathetic plastic miniatures of zero intrinsic value, local wines could be celebrated in a stunning visual display of label and local identity to ensure that the wine is more than just an afterthought.

The someliers job would be, (particularly on long haul flights) to wax lyrical about the regions , complexity and nuance of individual wines and prove once again Qantas’s committment to buidling the identity of regional varieties and develop an anticipation amongst frequent flyers that the voyage becomes an adventure rather than a hellish presentiment of three hundred peple imprisoned in a fart-filled cocoon of aluminium and plastic. Cigar smoking would be encouraged.

And finally, my fellow passengers wonder why you don’t offer the refreshment that comes without plastic, cardboard or advertising logos. FRESH FRUIT!

Is it too hard to ask for an apple?

A bunch of grapes?

JUST GAWK AT THE LEG ROOM!!

A banana? 

Once again each variety is a endorsement of Australian agriculture. And a rebuttal to those individuals who might think that Australia is a personification of its political class. Shallow, insecure, xenephobic, racist, homophobic and reactive. And through the journey of “getting there” will appreciate that within the cliche’s, the stereotypes and the mainstream an essence of individuality and optimism burns so brightly. 

I urge you to consider these suggestions in good faith. 

Cheers

“Festivus for the rest of us”!

(Olden days kiddies riding bikes without helmets. Such behaviour is now BANNED!)

 It’s a real struggle keeping pace with the most defining salient issues of our time. 

And it’s easy to loose your metaphorical eye from the proverbial ball. 

Olden days kiddies playing with sparklers. BANNED now for THEIR OWN GOOD!

What news item is more pressing? Is it the fact that if you’ve got shitloads of money and you want to launder it a Crown? Peter Dutton will throw out the red carpet. No questions asked!!  Or is it Angus Taylor? Angus understands that ‘Mateship’ is way more important than the environment. By removing red tape and killing off ecosystems, business can FLOURISH!

Or just the fact that as you read this your mind impulses are being monitored by a Chinese submarine somewhere deep off the Pacific trench and already your vitals are slated to be harvested in an Uighur organ donor factory! (the one that Cotton On uses for its labour force). And all awhile you know that th U.S, last bastion of self interest and free enterprise is going down the toilet. The UK is going down the toilet, and you can hear a flushing sound and know that we’re  on an identical trajectory. And it’ll be all over just as soon as the kleptocracy finishing dividing the spoils.

Olden days kiddie mucking round with a .22 rifle. A Kiddie would GO TO JAIL if they did that now.

In the end it all comes down to EDUCASHUN!!

WE are indebted to Ira for this snippet. 

Good people all,

At the risk of laying myself open to the accusation that I am nothing less than a tedious pedant, I would like to make the following observation;

The Bendigo Writers’ Festival has adopted the above ‘quotation’ as its banner to attract the crème  of the crop to its Word-er-ama. (9-11 August 2019)

As we all know, Portia is available as a missus to the person who chooses the correct container. The Prince of Morocco reasons that Portia is so trif that that the pure gold container must be the right choice.  He is wrong. Instead and inside there’s a written piece that more or less tells him not to judge a book by its cover. It tells him, not that ‘…all that glitters is not gold…’ but ‘…all that glisters is not gold…’  and that death awaits…

Am I missing something? Is there an in-joke here, beyond the comprehension of people like me? Or is the ignorance of the promoters such that they have no idea how badly they’ve fucked up, or don’t care? And what about the writers? Dear God the writers… Have they mounted a campaign to boycott this literary disaster? Jesus wept…

Ira

Portia goes for the box. Not Pandora’s though.

I think it sad… or am I missing the point?k

What is the point?

What does it point to?

Were does it lead?

John Marsden reckons that parents are neurotic. Took him years to work that one out. Could’ve told him that modern parent neurosis began on the day they killed off Guy Fawkes and replaced it with Halloween. More Hollow than hallowed, and you can’t wean yourself off the commercial opportunities. 

The author writes about parents ‘loving their children to death’. How right he is. We reckon they’re born dead. Work, eat, (a small aperture exists for breeding) and Death. Marsden hasn’t gone far enough. Hard to put a more precise date on it, but perhaps when the Shanghai was no longer an indispensable part of school equipage, and the strap gave way to serious counselling and behavioural limitation strategies. 

Nicola Heath reckons Johnny has got it wrong.We beg to differ.

Olden days kids enjoying a smoke. BANNED!

Either way we’re rooted, need working with children checks if you want to take the kiddies to the park, and if you hang around you’ll be arrested as a pervert. Spose that’s what got Marsden into teaching. As a riposte to all that control. Parents now want to micro manage everything. It’s an insecurity index. A critic countered and said Marsden was over-reacting. Since when did kiddies have I-phones etc in the past so that they are monitored every nano-second of their life? And the pressure to conformity? With the added bonus of consumerism to hollow them out just that little bit more. Food for consultant psychiatrists, psychologists, paediatricians and allied health and mental health workers. Value added by the certainty is there aint someting wrong with em, there WILL be something wrong with them.  Indigenous kids as young as ten killing themselves. They’ve seen the future and jumped the queue. And yet this knob tells us nothing’s changed.  

Anything than to question the reason why.

Cracker night anyone?