Tahiti looks Nice!

Of Au Pairs and Polo Playing

Letter to Mr Dutton.

Dear Peter, 

Pater and Mama are extwemely twoubled by your recent decision to allow “Fifi” our cousins au pair to stay on. In polo playing terms it’s just not FAIR. We alweady had a superb awwangement to keep Trixi-belle and Lulu our Spanish nannies stay over for the rest of summer, as Algernon and Hypatia have taken an interest in Spanish riding. 

Young Gillon was always spoilt as a child.

We have gone to  a tewwibly lot of twouble to build a new menage, stables and twaining curcuit, so that they may twain themselves for the international equestwian finals to be held in Toulon this October. By allowing Fifi to stay you have given Gillon an unfair advantage.  Surely with all his contatcs in the AFL he shouldn’t need your intervention as well.

You see, the awwangement was to have Ffi for just thwee months. But by keeping her on, we know that Gillons nieces, Alexandrina, and Persephone will get an unfair advantage. You see, (this may not have been obvious on her tourist visa) Fifi is a member of the famous Lipstadt school, an experienced and qualified wine taster, and we know she is staying at the Plyford Downer-Bonython’s for the long weekend. We now that she will be passing on her skills and giving Gillons nieces an unfair advantage. 

This is not Cwicket. 

Nice people play Polo

WE would like something to be done. 

In the interwests of a fair and twansparent immigration scheme, we demand that Fifi’s visa be cancelled. WE also demand, that Trixi Belle and Lulu be kept on for several years. They recieve no payment, wage or benefit other than the glory of serving our family. A family that has worked hard since settlement to get pweferrment, patwonage and pay you lot in the Liberal party quite a lot of money. Daddy says he’ll give you his entire stock of 54 Gwange if you do the right thing. If you don’t, you’re gonna find it pwetty hard to get your nephews, Brad, and Dwayne into St Peters. 

WE have our standards, Mr Dutton, and they cannot be lowered by cheap marketpace preferrment. That is not the way we do things in Adelaide. Those wough-house tactics may work for you in Queensland, but the plain paper envelope and cash is vulgar. And the talk in the club is that you’ll have to lift your game if ever you want to be the next GG.

Can’t you get our man in London to help on this vexed issue.

So, sit up and take heed. And for decency’s sake do the right thing and don’t give into that nice, (but spoilt) boy Gillon who’s had quiet enough and doesn’t need any more encouragement. 

I know that you’ll treat this letter with the utmost confidence, 

Daddy says he might even get you a membership to his favourite Golf club if you do the right thing. And he’s proud that there are no people of colour at work on the premises.

Yours sincerely

Squiffy

The Pryory

Mt Barker

Enter ROBOCOP

Keeping us Safe.

Commissioner of Vic POLICE Commissioner Mal Feasance demonstrates new Semi Automatic Laser guided Pulse Rifle to deter Jaywalkers.

It’s hard enough being Angus Taylor. He alone fights to save us from renewables. He alone must to the heavy lifting to save the citizens from new technologies,. From Innovation. From Science. From thinking.  So that we may be dumb, pliable, and subject peoples. So that we may give praise to COAL. And pay dearly to protect us from the evils of renewable energy, the Trojan horse that seeks to take us unawares and question the very fabric of what good our politicans have done for us. The sacrifices they’ve made to ensure that we are beholden to the lobbyists, the vested interests, the corporates whom must be all powerful, so that we may be SAFE. 

Commissioner instructs Police on how to detect a Criminal via Skin Colour and Intuition.

But what of the saferty of ordinary Citizens? What is being done? What measures are being taken to protect us from CIVIL UNREST? To protect us from Mass PROTEST? To save us from the curse of the MOB? And those who would question the orthodoxy of selling all the Commonwelath to private enterprise. So that the shareholders may rejoice in a pliant, supine, complicit populace who have so much to learn about Safety, and FAMILY VALUES!!

Good then that the Victorian Police is showing the way. And it’s a sacred way, paved with good intentions that give us SAFETY. And the knowledge that we are protected from EVIL doers. From protesters who question the status quo, and criminals who activate REBELLION. 

The new riot gear and pepper guns are what the law needs. No one will respect a police force that deosn’t look like an EVIL, MECHANISED KILLING MACHINE!

New Vic POLICE Riot gear makes these blokes look like SISSIES!!

And the armour, the blackness, the eye shades, the helmets and the apparatus would make an SS Panzer Grenadier look like a pansy. And that’s what we need to fight the scourge of protest, civil unrest and those who are intent upon UPENDING a CIVIL SOCIETY. 

The Pepper gun is what we NEED, it sprays the CRIMINAL PROTESTER with a barrage of very painful pellets. It also comes with a BALL Projector. THIS is ESSENTIAL for CLOSE COMBAT. The ball STUNS the VICTIM, and marks in PAINT, the GUILT of the Protestor, so that they can be identified and ARRESTED to keep us SAFE. 

Chief Commissioner demonstrates “TERMINATOR” Rapid response PUBLIC SAFETY ROBOT.

There is also, in concert with the TASERS, the Truncheons, and the WATER CANNON, an array of scary BODY ARMOUR. The special response PUBLIC INCIDENT ARMOURED CAR is capable of dispersal, aggregation and isolating RIOTOUS ASSEMBLIES, and if needs be (only if the mob is determined UNRULY) by Central Command, the KILL switch can be activated and instant ATOMIZATION is CERTAIN. 

We are Safe. We are protected. And through the Victoria Police we can sleep safely knowing that AFRICAN CRIME GANGS, NON CHINESE STUDENTS, JAYWALKERS , FARE EVADERS, HOMELESS and MALCONTENTS will be PUNISHED. And they will know that the streets and PUBLIC PLACES are not for THEM. 

And they will meekly walk away. AND DIE!

COS ABSOLUTE FORCE is ABSOLUTE!

And UNQUESTIONABLE!

It is written


It’s good to see since that popinjay Turnbull was dumped some clear sighted policy coming from the Morrison Government. On  every front they’re kicking goals. 

Angus will fight the accursed wind turbine to cleanse the land of SCIENCE! And the certainty that WOMEN shall not FRONT BENCH!

Let’s have a quick look, 

On keeping women out of the front bench, they have proven to be stellar performers. 

On making sure that women need not even think of entering parliament they’re “numero uno”. The truth is written, “If you be woman, don’t bother. According to the Liberal’s founding fathers, not Ming, but Leviticus, and Mathew, Abraham, and another bloke called Corinthians, it is written, “If she riseth to representeth the deeds of man she will be flung from the temple and deserve a righteous stoning”. 

And so it is written. 

ANGUS and Santa’s little helper.

On the science front we have more good news. Once again we return to the founding principles of the reformed Liberal party. For it is written; “To question the works of man as not God given is apostacy. And the non believer will be cast out, denied funding, and those rivers of gold shall be given to the private sector, to do whatever is in their infinite wisdom”.

Another good policy direction that ensures  silly  and untrustworthy public departments are denied  funds  which are righteously diverted into private coffers. So that the “great deeds” of  philanthropists, who by Gods grace and hard work have made vast sums and righteously pay no tax. 

A further delight is the  special clause for Queenslanders. 

It goeth thus; 

To ensureth family values, a moleskin, RM Williams Boots and Belts and the assuredness that this land will never ever be stained by science and renewables.

“And God created Queensland. Queenslanders are his chosen people. Their solemn duty is to trust in God and cleanse their state of all living biota. And in doing so establish in this place of tree, river, and endless beaches a desert for which only the flower of God, the banana shall flourish. And when in righteous certainty the state is deforested, de- coralled, and denuded of species other than human who was chosen by God to ordain civilisation and real estate subdivision, God will be pleased. God will also be pleased, when those that are not white, christian, and ignorant, shall be sent down to the southern states, where they will (as took place in Soddom and Gomorroah), perish in Gods name, and quickly. For such is the mercy of the all seeing powerful redemeption of God’s divine hand. 

And on Coal, it is written: ‘Give us a saviour, his name shall be Angus. For that is the name chosen by GOD. Angus will cleanse this land once again from the stain of renewables. Angus shall talk big. Angus may even wear a big hat. Angus shall be righteous in his indignation of renewables, science, economics and the common people. The common people will realise, that, though they vote, they are not “his people” and will suffer. Angus, will deliver more lumps of coal in parliament and make the little people pay a high price, for daring to question and ask the reason WHY?.  For such is the sacrifice required to ensure  coal is maintained as the “saviour of humanity” as decreed by Lord Tony of Abbott, and Lord Rupert of Murdoch. The true spiritual leaders of this land. 

The POWER of ONE!

Angus  has decreed. “Ignorance is Bliss, Stupidity is Gold, and smugness, xenephobia and insecurity a symbol of God’s almighty grace and power.

May it endureth. Forever!

 

In God’s name.

MDFF 1 September 2018

This Musical Dispatch from the Front was first published on 11 September 2010.
As ever use Google Translate where applicable 

Goddag mine venner

Today’s quotable quote:
“If you are not part of the solution, you can make good money, helping to prolong the problem”

A friend sent me this, who doesn’t know whence it came.

I dedicate it to all those with their snout in the trough that is the NTER (Northern Territory Emergency Response).

A couple of years ago, I was given a book by Joe Bageant* called ‘Deer Hunting with Jesus: dispatches from America’s class war’. I thought it was brilliant.

I’ve just finished reading Joe’s second book ‘Rainbow Pie (A Redneck Memoir)’.

http://www.scribepublications.com.au/book/rainbowpie

Joe crawled from under the pile that is (North)American society to bring us a seldom heard Weltanschauung (I know, I’ve used this word many times before, I like it).

Myself, I have never lived in the bottom of the pile, but have spent more than half a lifetime living on its periphery, with my eyes and ears (and mouth!) wide open.

Whilst dealing with an entirely different paradigm, and only on a few rare occasions approaching Joe Bageant’s lucid erudite style, I am staggered by the similarities in our conclusions.

Redneck Virginian Hillbillies and Warlpiri Aboriginal Australians share this in common: they are the under-class. They’ve been systematically stripped of their right to run their own lives as they choose. What dignity and self respect they retain, under sustained attack, is testament to their resilience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

I’ve just spent some time “down South” in Melbourne. Everyone there has heard about Liam Jurrah** of whom Yuendumu is justly proud.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF-_HszEC9s

Hardly a soul has heard of (or cares about) Income Management.

In answer to Jenny Macklin & Warren Snowdon (“Wazza” or Warrana)’s continuous Propaganda barrage (“Aboriginal Women are very happy with Income Management, more money is being spent on food, little Aboriginal Children are putting on weight”) I need only quote this from a press release by Greens Senator Rachel Siewert :

“There were unprecedented swings in polling booths in central Australia (including Kintore, Santa Teresa, Titjikala, Ampilatwatja, Utopia, Ti Tree, Rockhampton Downs, Yuendumu, Papunya, Mutitjulu and Yulara) against the sitting member and Minister for Aboriginal Health Warren Snowdon – with some booths showing swings of 60-70% against him and 30-40% to Greens candidate and NTER critic Barbara Shaw”

Chaos Theory’s butterfly: Remote Aboriginal Australia came very close to giving the Mad Monk the majority that would have made him the next Prime Minister of Australia.

Whilst away on R&R the following was emailed to me by the GBM (“Ngipiri”):

“Representatives >from Centrelink, FaHCSIA and DWEER will be attending Yuendumu on Tuesday the 7th of September to discuss the NTER changes which include the reinstatement of the Racial Discrimination Act (RDA), Income Management, 5 year Leases, Liquor restrictions, Phonograph Restrictions, Publicly funded computers etc.”

About time! Too much phonography in Yuendumu. We must eradicate the Yuendumu phonographers. It’s been a serious problem in Yuendumu: phonography. You wouldn’t believe how many illicit phonographs are operating in Yuendumu. At last the authorities are introducing Phonograph Restrictions. Yuendumu will be a better place. Hallelujah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud-M6YqeOWg

Jeg vil slutte af med nogle fornøjelige musik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgH6N669OhE

En venlig hilsen, indtil næste gang

Frank

Hvorfor ikke? En mere sang

  • *Joe Bageant has since died.  His work lives on, the two books mentioned are required reading for anyone wanting a better understanding of the way society and politics have changed in the last decade of the Twentieth Century and the early part of the Twenty-first Century.
  • ** Liam Jurrah is no longer an AFL footballer.  His fate is a direct result of what Chris Graham (Editor of “Tracker” Magazine) calls “the five most dangerous white words in Aboriginal affairs: ‘At least we’re doing something’.”, referring in this case to the Northern Territory Emergency Response.  Read it here

Our borders may yet still be UNSAFE!!!

Making our borders UNSAFE! Suspect Illegal vessel must be destroyed to keep us SAFE!

Just when we though it was safe to tuck ourselves in at night and sleep knowing our borders were SAFE and INVIOLATE we awoke to find FOREIGN persons stuck in OUR MANGROVES! Heads will roll!. But for the moment, some amongst us saw it as an omen. That perhaps we could offer something to the world and the world would recognise the light of compassion burning dimly down south. 

(If you have problems with illuminated southern lights downstairs see a medical specialist and seek attention. And the tension mounts as our seraph from the near north pens this ode for the ones who almost got through.) 

He writes; 

DRAW NEAR AND PAY ATTENTION.

In slavish imitation  of the Americans, we established (at vast expense) our own Border Protection System. Like all things Australian, the idea was seized on initially, particularly by all sorts of our right wing lunatics, as the answer to their prayers. These outrageous, bare-faced  enthusiasts used our Navy to drag all incoming boats back home again. This was all done in secret because as far as I can glean, not one  of our ‘award winning’ journalists risked their necks to show us the inhuman horror our government was inflicting on refugees and asylum seekers.

Suspect illegal aliens being rounded up and sent to prison. TO KEEP US SAFE!

Time passed…problem solved….and the Fascists amongst us rejoiced. We had stopped the boats. Meanwhile, and largely due to European and American political machination,  and their support of dictatorial monsters, millions of refugees, driven off their own land, took off for Europe.

This exodus proved, almost beyond doubt, that the European Convention on Human Rights is not worth a cracker. These refugees, our spineless governments attempted to convince us, had become, had been judged to be, against all reason, and incomprehensibly, the enemy.

Back home, sometime later, the Fascists now are trying to broaden their appeal by, more or less, establishing themselves as ‘the way forward…’ (whatever tnat means…)

Suspect Illegal alien villainously gaining the confidence of a local prior to committing unspeakable acts. Don’t be fooled. Even a beer in your hand wont render you SAFE!

Farcically, gloriously, after all the time and money spent on ‘protecting our borders’, on extra  boats and extra personnel, more patrols  both day and night, and the absolute assurance that our refugee crisis was absolutely under the control of our ‘Border Force”. A splendid boatful of refugees from God knows where, utterly eludes our patrol vessels, traverses hundreds of kilometres of open ocean undetected, and lands, following an unfortunate encounter with a bit of Barrier Reef, without loss of life, in Australian Northern waters..

Hurray for them! A thousand times hurray! Fuck the government! Fuck the Border Force!

This is a gloriously splendid example of the absolute indomitability of the human spirit,

This boatload of Odysseans, this splendid crew, should be given the keys to the kingdom, pensions for life and be made national treasures.

Compared to these oceanic traversers, our politicians who so disregard human rights, who behave so contemptibly in terms of oompassion and international law, are seen to be what they really are: cowardly and cheap, narrow, joyless and tawdry, and wholly unfit to even dare to represent us.

God bless all adventurers possessed with an abundance of the human spirit!

HUZZAH, HUZZAH! HUZZAH,

Ira Main

Our Book review

Studio Photograph of Professor Blake, (LHS), working on the case of the Autralian Universities “visas for degrees” scandal prior to his sacking from Melbourne University.

For all you bibliophiles, at last some new meat on the Bone. This is the inaugural installment from our book reviewer Professor Joe ‘Sexton’ Blake. In this installment he gives us an insight into the other side of everything. Or if you’re the latest P.M, an affirmation as to why he was “Chosen buy God” to lead us. (That is not a typo). And you can read his review, ‘God Given’, for the special price of $27.99, (Hillsong publications.)

Sadly we were going to throw in the knife set, but they’ve all been used on despatching the last  current. PM.

Professor Blake is a genial fellow who though not ordained by God, seeks truth and integrity. This led to his sacking from our esteemed universities, and delivered him unto us. “We shall be grateful”, (Mathew, V111. Ch V) ( Hillsong Press)

 

Joe writes….

Growing up Aboriginal in Australia, Edited by Anita Heiss, Black Inc Books, $29.99

Reviewed by Professor Joe Blake

To their great misfortune, most Australian residents have never met an Aboriginal person. That means they’re missing out on the wittiness, humour and resilience of a remarkable group of people, almost every one of whom suffers racism every day of their lives.

If you don’t know any indigenous people, you can gain an insight into their world by reading this marvellous book. It’s got short articles by about 50 Aborigines from all walks of life; many of the stories are confronting. When I read part of the book on a bus trip, tears were streaming down my cheeks in response to the trauma imposed by the mainstream. Some of this is unconscious, such as “Would all Aboriginal students please report to the quadrangle” over the school loudspeaker system. (Imagine the average sensitive teenager’s response to being singled out like this.) In other cases, it’s malicious, like that big city journalist who loves making the underdog squirm just so he can take home a fat pay cheque.

Some of the contributors to this book are from the Stolen Generation, and took many years to finally catch up with family and country. Others grew up not even suspecting their heritage, with one black parent always desperately trying to cover up their true identity; sometimes a lucky coincidence led them to a miraculous discovery. The majority always knew who they were, loving the times they spent with extended family, learning about the ways of the old people. It’s not all positive, however; there are stories of the extreme unhappiness in some families, unhappiness caused by the horrible indignities this group has been subjected to ever since Captain Cook made his first landfall.

A very strong theme in this wonderful book is depth of skin colour. Some siblings are whiter than others; they’re more acceptable to the white world, but can sometimes feel guilty that they’re not properly black. The bitter truth is this: no matter how white you are there’s always someone who can find out that you’ve got a “touch of the tar brush”, as one contributor puts it, and totally destroy your day, week, or even your whole life.

Professor Blake suggests there could be a link to Adam Goodes villification and an undercurrent of deep-seated Australian Racism.

One of the many impressive things about this book is the uniformly high quality of the writing. You might expect it to be uneven, but all of these people are brilliant communicators. Perhaps it’s a survival skill they’ve learnt from their tormentors. 

Some of the contributors are well-known. Footballer Adam Goodes, one of the best AFL players ever, ended his stellar career in dismay after being continually booed by opposition crowds, with the approval of officials. Opera singer Deborah Cheetham tried to sing a slightly more meaningful Australian Anthem at the AFL grand-final but was knocked back because she wanted to substitute “peace and harmony” for “young and free.” Others are prominent in their chosen fields, while many are just ordinary people, living ordinary lives; it’s just that they’ve got an extraordinary shared background.

Make sure you read this book. It won’t give you the lived experience of its authors, but at least you’ll have a slight inkling of what they’ve been through.

More on the two Bobs

 Dear reader, still letters keep pouring in giving us a true picture of just what a seismic shift the departure of Turnbull has made to Australian politics.

The End of Malcolm and a dawning of a NEW ERA!

This tweet from that luminary of the North George Christiansen tells us of the feelings post Neg.
 “Looking forward to @ScottMorrisonMP & @AngusTaylorMP getting baseload underwriting scheme underway ASAP to develop new coal-fired power stations, inc one in Nth Qld. More is needed: major equity fund for new coal-fired power & abandon costly green treaties, mandates & subsidies.”
And he’s quite right, with a Morrison Government we can get back on board the COAL TRAIN, and bring back “CLEAN COAL” as the saviour of humanity.

Amd we’ve gotta be forthright, Mr Morrison is as good a Liberal PM as you’ll find, he’s devout, he’s principled, he’s conservative, he’s from SYDNEY and he upholds FAMILY VALUES. Which include as he introduced into parliament all those years ago, a lump of CLEAN COAL. His first act as PM to ensure that there were no Sheila’s on the front bench. As God proclaimed, (Apostles v. 1Vch 1X), .

Another Great Prime Minister falls over the NEG

And this from our luminary form the near north Ira Maine, proclaims the  light that shineth forth is from ROME. And through the forests my die, the sea creatures rot and the coral polyps bleach we know that in GOD , as the Yanks are fond of saying, “You can TRUST”!.
Take it away Ira, On this his reply to “Two Bob’s”

‘A first class piece demonstrating to lads of my ill-informed calibre precisely how perniciously and how easily Rome has infiltrated Australian politics. Mannix knew that power would always elude Catholics unless rhey got themselves an education.They did that and achieved political power.The trouble is that, like the Taliban, they dragged their religious beliefs along with them into politics and can’t see why this mig

PM Material. Practised Wave and stood for FAMILY VALUES!

ht be wrong. The extraordinary level of Rome based conservatism  demonstrated by Santamaria then and Tony Abbott now has its roots in the old Irish Catholicism which was all the Irish had left to believe in when the English had finished with them. Hatred of the ruling English, of the people who ruled their own country,, who had visited discriminarion, famine and ultimately genocide on the entire Catholic peasant population over hundreds of years, left that peasantry with no redress, no court, no possibility of appeal.

It is hardly surprising therefore, having being betrayed again and again by England, the Irish peasantry clung so fiercely to their belief in God in the form of Rome’s Catholicism.At least spiritual succour was available from Rome’s God.
The fight is over now, England is falling apart and the more enthusiastic Australian Catholic politicians should pull their heads in and leave their Catholicism at home when they enter parliament’.

Sadly, no one has told Ira about the tendency for God fearing men and women to being their religion into Parliament. A legacy of the Greatest PM EVER, JOHN E HOWARD!

JOHN HOWARD. Greatest PM in LIVING MEMORY!

Two Bobs worth.

Ming and Winston. Out to fight Facism, ideology, and those that would threaten the Empire.

He looms bigger than the other Bob. Though Ming has long departed, his forgotten people a barely seen shadow reflecting a time when the wealthiest amongst us may have earnt two, perhaps three times more than the average worker. His message was not be too ambitous, not work too hard, be comfortable and suburban. And keep ideology out of politics. In doing so he thrived. Whilst to his left, Labor, filled with post war, post depression post IWW, ideology tore itself to bits. There was just too much ideology in the Labor party. The right faction, the left, the old unionists, and the new unionists. But the biggest lobby was not the Labor Party, but those who thought of Labor in terms of somethinng ancillary to Australian interests. Interests much further afield.  Where you may ask.? 

In Rome. Their boss wore a big gown a funny hat and was all the way with the certainty of fascism until the wind changed. His deputy, chosen by god. B.A Santamaria. 

The other Bob. determined to defend the “other Empire”.

The other Bob had a view on things. Socialism was dangerous. The commies and their lefty ideology were destroying societies. And education, once a vehicle for emancipation, was giving people ideas. Ideas that if unchecked would question, the role of god and the church as the social glue that kept us fearful, servile and brow beaten. 

From the ashes of Labors self destruction he saw his epiphany as an angel rising under the mantle of the DLP, the Democratic Labor Party. Like its East German counterpart, the Democratic Republic. It’s credo was anything other than democratic. It was ideology. Ideology of the social right. More in touch with Honneker thah Hegel, more alligned to Murdoch, (that’s Keith) rather than Marx. 

And as he rose, on his ideological wings of certainty the Labor Party crumbled. Until relieved from its dependance on peculiar christian fundamentalism to be secular, and win the 72 election in a landslide. 

As kids we had to wade through this in order to get to the Highlight, “World Championship Wrestling” and “Epic Theatre”. Not realising that the other Bob had turned politics into Epic Theatre.

Something else  happened. The Labor Party, innovative, transformative, progressive, was no longer a safe haven for crusty conservatives. The Liberal party beckoned. A shining beacon. Since Mings departure, ossifying under the miasma of Macmahon. 

Santa’s little helpers.

So when Tony crossed the floor, think Bob. When Feravanti Wells got up and left Malcolm citing “gay marriage” as the “reason why’?  Think of Bob. When Kevin, Tony, the other Tony and most of Queensland chanted “clean coal” think of Bob. And when the dust settled and Scott Morrison became out new PM, thank Bob. Bob had a telly show “Point of View”. It came on before ‘Epic Theatre”.  Epic Theatre was about gladiators and Imperial Rome. As kids we couldn’t see the connection. We loathed Bob’s Show.  But its aim was Epic. “Keep us fearful, browbeaten and inadequate”. 

Bob Santamaria is the hero of 2018. His conservative core catholic values gave us the great schism of 1955. And now playing out seventy years later the great split of 2018 in which his little helper, “Santas little helper’ Tony Abbott, has done to the Liberal party what Bob and his mates did to the Labor party. Kept em unelectable. And in doing so made heroes of ordinary, some say very ordinary men and women. 

The “little helper” has done to the Liberal party what Bob did to Labor. Made it unelectable for years and years and years.

Good onya Bob. Good onya Tone. You’ve see the light, 

In giving us darkness. 

Poetry Sunday 26 August 2018

Creed, by Steve Turner

We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before during
and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated.
You can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there’s something in horoscopes,
UFO’s and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha
Mohammed and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher although we think
his good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same,
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation sin heaven hell God and salvation.

We believe that after death comes The Nothing
because when you ask the dead what happens
they say Nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it’s compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between
warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behaviour that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth
that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust. History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds.

by Steve Turner

MDFF 25 August 2018 R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The Queen is dead, long live her music,

It will come as no surprise to regular readers of these Dispatches that Aretha Franklin is my all time favourite musician.

I don’t believe in Heaven, Aretha did, so as far as I’m concerned that is where she is.

Her most famous and iconic song is Otis Redding’s ‘Respect’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0 (Aretha’s original 1967 version)

I will confine the social/political segue (which are a common feature of these Dispatches) in this Dispatch, to a quote from Kim Beasley Sr. (The Whitlam Government’s Minister of Education): “To deny people an education in their own language, where that is possible, is to treat them as a conquered people and to deny them RESPECT.”

Barely a year older than myself, I’m not exaggerating when I assert that Aretha’s music has been and continues to be a significant component of the soundtrack of my existence.

I’ve always maintained that if I sank so low as to put a bit of music on an answering machine, I’d put ‘(I can’t get no) Satisfaction’ on it- goes without saying, not the Rolling Stones’ version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eto2urJTKno

And then as a bonus, through the magic of IT, I discovered years later that Aretha played a “mean” beautiful piano…

Long ago I read about the Studio in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. In the deep segregated south of the U.S., there were these “good ole southern boys” playing music with this black lady, and what music! Music is humanity’s social glue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfzpv1j4YN0

Bridge over Troubled Waters…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DBl5gAs6WI

Dr.Feelgood…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S44sovsp7RE

Today I sing the blues…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgnPK94olGg

What a friend we have in Jesus…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNFgKot8oh0&list=RDtNFgKot8oh0&start_radio=1

I never loved a man, the way that I love you….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waS0rKeuzg8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpo0RG4zGNo

I was pleased to see on the TV News that Aretha’s family, friends and neighbours are celebrating her life rather than mourning her death. That is how it ought to be- like a New Orleans Funeral second line…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-CC1o6XkGQ

Franklin