HMS Endeavour discovers SYDNEY. Sydney Day and CIVILISATION began on 26th Jan. This will be written into LAW. To preserve, ” Mainstream Australian Values”.

Fantastic news from Canberra, in a first ever for an outgoing government the Morrison Government has unveiled plans to build a fleet of replica refugee boats and sail them round Australia. 

It will celebrate the 47th anniversary of the first Vietnamese refugee boats that arrived in Australia. 

In a joint venture with the French submarine manufacturer, each refugee boat, intricately detailed and absolutely perfect as a relic will as it makes its way around the coast be shunned, isolated, left to rot, or just ignored. The human cargo made up of volunteers sourced from Elon Musks Mars mission have agreed to die if they can get exclusive rights, to facebook coverage, twitter feeds and instagram. 

Almost fifty years since first boat arrived on Australia Day.

This is a once in a lifetime Journey. 

And when they perish the corpses will be sent to Manaus island as potting mix. So that we may bring soil and resource to destitute lazy unhealthy would-be migrants (illegal immigrants) who failed in their efforts to get here. 

The Dutton, demonstrates its facility for killing its occupants…… slowly.

A special envoy, Mr Kevin Rudd, has been selected to lead the flotilla. ‘At first we thought of just one, but like my autobiography, why settle for one, when you can have three,  bit like Columbus in reverse. Instead of the “Nina”, the “Pinta” and the “Santa Maria”, we’ll have the “Hopeless”, the “Useless” and the “Dutton”. It’s a bit like Cook in reverse, instead of being ‘founded’, we’ll symbolise “Un-founded” as an appropriate metaphor for those who choose the refugee lifestyle. 

The “Dutton”, the biggest ship is actually an old prison hulk, guaranteed to sink and absolutely guaranteed to give all the inhabitants, (Tuberculosis, scurvy, dysentry, cholera, scrub typhus and retribution. ) At the launching the Minister for Border protection and Nazi-era uniforms proclaimed; “Because being an ex copper I understand the value of fear and retribution! It’ll be just like a real refugee boat, but with more theatre”. 

The first wave of “Boat People” demonstrating “Gratefulness”. Though none of them knew of Bradman’s batting average.

Don Bradman. Famously led the batting for “Australian Values” on Australia Day.

With exclusive rights to the voyage Fox news anchorperson Peta Credlin will be on hand to let out electric eels, sharks, stone fish and sea wasps if the volunteers should decide to swim for it. “It’ll teach em the Australian way’!. As none of them know Bradman’s batting average they can learn the hard way, just the journey from Melbourne to Brisbane will take 99.9 days and when they get there, the survivors use sign on for another 99.9 till there’s no one left. It’s symbolic, not the voyage, but the courage and determination as a nation in meeting out punishment. We were going to crowd the ships with Aborigines, but we’ve got better plans or them, and besides they’re so used to suffering they wont play up to it on reality tv. 

And by demonstrating as Cook did by sailing round the world the superiority of British technology as a seapower we can demonstrate to the world at age that as an island we are fantastically insular. 

Whilst the time the refugee re-enactment fleet has made its way around the coast they’ll be entirely empty. To represent thinking in Australia, as empty vessels they’ll be best suited to convey our singular defining principle. Empty symbolism. 

Top end locals not being grateful enough to be ruled by Her Majesty. Years ago they we FORCED to show their Gratefulness!

To make empty symbolism an art form. 

And speaking of Symbolism, we have it on good authority that Cecil’s AO is in the bag. 

A full report on Monday. 

Don’t miss it.