Dear reader, there are insurmountable problems associated with the Australian Space Agnecy’s Mars mission that must be fixed. And the enquiries keep pouring in.
Not only is the Mars base some millions of miles away from Earth, but it’s a further several thousand miles from our communications centre in Southern Australia to the Central Intelligence Resource Hub of Northern Queensland. Because of this we’ve had to go to some lengths to equip our data receiving station with “correct” advice from our near neighbours to the north.
Artist depiction of the Mars communication base. Uncannily similar, (see banner) to the array that used to be at Yuendumu.
This is an artists impression of the tele-satelite communication array on Mars.
Global World Leaders. Universally famous in Australia prepare for the first ever Deep Space Broadcast.
As you can see it is uncannily similar to the one trialled at Yuendumu. Incidentally, this one on Mars is not the brainchild and publicly funded inspiration of the telecomunications giant Telstra, but a fully privatised telecommunications apparatus established theough funding from the Northern Australia Development Fund. When asked why the array on Yuendumu was trialed and then abandoned, the Minister for Space Exploration Coal and fundamentalist Christian thought Mr Canavan, said this: “That was a no brainer, the one at Yuendumu wasn’t north enough. Wheras, whichever way you look at it, Mars is pretty much as north as you can get. And we needed this up to date taxpayer funded facility more than the locals in an outstation dish for some very fundamental reasons. Non stop broadcast of Foxtel, the Bolt report and beaming Peta Credlin’s image into the sky.
Why? We asked. To whit the Minister gave this intelligent reply;”We thought that if we can beam Peta to Mars, we might as well beam it across the universe and prove that there’s intelligent life in Queensland, and there’s a beam for which to guide extra terrestials in making significant investment decisions.
Like Fund Coal.
We have it on reliable information from our Ramsay Centre, that Aliens would prefer COAL.
Peta Credlin. Prepares to present Coal as saviour of the universe to yet un-known aliens.
Just as we occupied Australia in search of Gold, so alien life form, which has to be carbon based, will be lured to coal. It’s an unalterable fact that superior life-forms prefer coal as their principal energy force. And current research from the Ramsay centre suggests , just as slavery powered the age on enlightenent, so coal power will power Australia’s venture into space. And what better way of presenting our credentials to the rest of the universe as Queenslanders than under the persona of Peta Credlin, who is a stalwart defender of the underdog, the persecuted minority and preferred hand maiden to Lord Murdoch of Everything.
For, there is an inalianeble truth, (in hushed tones) the Ramsay Centre has revealed to us that if there is life outside earth and it be non christian fundamentalist. It will take the guise of a dark force, Its leader they call “Lord Vader”. And if ever we collide, as two entirely different orthodoxies must, we shall do battle with Lord Vader, and prevail.
Clive Palmer. Another famous Queenslander sending a clear message to any Alien Life forms interested in investing in COAL and Queensland. Proof of intelligent life .
For it is written, “Lord Murdoch shall rise omnipotent and slay the interloper and banish him to the far side of the universe.
And only be heard via our telecommunications array. Which is I’m glad to say, pointing to Yuendumu array,
Is not very often’.