Peter and Roman, Once , not so very long ago they were BEST MATES! Footy, barby, stag nights, bingo and dwarf throwing.
Dear reader, we don’t know if you are fully aware of the somersaults we perform of an editorial kind. Each day we are presented with such a swathe of letters, opinion pieces, and copy it takes us the best part of a week just to get through it. And by the time we’ve discussed in a serious round table meeting, and deliberated for an objective, dispassionate, un-biased edtorial commentary, the news has gone STALE!
And with the interesting things that are happening in America, consistenly trumping whatever passes for newsworthy here, it gets to a SOE type situation. That’s a “Situational Overload Event”. And it becomes nigh impossibe to draw out the thread of what is actually going on. Or in newspeak terms, “make head or tail”.
Please bear with us as we explain the conundrum.
Couldn’t tell em apart till Roman got his flash uniform. We reckon that’s when Pete first dissed his mate. ” Uniform Envy”!
Just when we thought it couldnt get any funnier, with Peter Dutton. It just Did. Peter turns up in Parliament and throws a bucket of merde upon his former stalwart deputy Roman Quadverlig. It seems Peter is unhappy about Romans leaking. We think it’s a bit personal and was wondering what possibly could’ve made this match made in heaven turn sour. Seems Roman was fond of the trinkets and indulgences that come with the very responsible position of maintaining safety and border security for all Australians. It seems that Roman, with his uniform beautifully crafted by those who gave us the Gestapo, and other para military operations, was entitled to do what he saw fit. And when he was bought to account for some indiscretion, he was summarlily sacked. Seems Roman can’t see what the fuss was about. As the man who sacked him has also had a problem with boundaries. In spite of everything Roman did to make fortress Australia impregnable, Peter was out there making it leak like a sieve for a few mates. That’s the problem with mateship. You’re never too sure when you’re in or out of “mate-dom’. And the coming down can be pretty hard.
Then the friendship turned sour. Peter wouldn’t invite him to the opening of outback prisons any more.
Meanwhile what goes for politics in America just gets more bizarre. But at least they can hang onto their Presidents longer than we can our P.M’s. Perhaps that’s why Malcolm, (forgotten his surname already) was spotted in New York. Not commiserating with his electorate, but emphasizing with his mates in the big end of town. Amongst them out old mate Lord Rupert of Murdoch.
Murdoch pubishes all the good newpapers in Australia. And with a bit of luck his mates running the ABC will turn the national broadcaster into a branch office. Beg your pardon, they already have.
Ruperts flagship the Herald Sun has published an unflattering cartoon. The whole world has gone bananas about it. In simple terms the cartoonist has done a Bill Leak. Portrayed mainstream “clean-living” traditional Australian values to the rest of the world. Meanwhile more indigenous Australians die in jails without trial, without conviction than ever before. But there is a silver lining. The Grand Final approaches. It will save us from introspection.
Which is a good thing. Cos it gets sport back onto the front page. And a sense, for a brief moment, that all is good with the world.
New head of Borderforce is more to Peter’s liking. A man you can trust with a firm hold on the cult of personality.
And make the job of editor easier, or (as practised by the Murdoch empire) an ethics free zone.