Our man In LONDON. Sir Lynton of the lowest common denominator.

According to leading sephologist, the Textor/Crosby effect will see at some stage a dead cat dropped onto the election table.

We at PCbyCP are excited by the ‘dead cat moment’, and understand that you, the hapless voter, will need to be attuned to understand the precise moment the dead cat singularity occurs.

Funds diverted from Climate Science at CSIRO to ensure worthwhile research into dead cat singularity.

We thought, the moment had arrived last week, when Dutton decried the “illiterates” flooding the economy, That was our dead cat, but it was just a presentiment of the dead cat to come. What will be the dead cat moment? Tremors have begun. Mr Joyce suggested that the boat people crisis was a consequence of the live beef exports. Another dead cat moment?

Nup just a tremor.

Noel Pearson, (the first Noel) being congraulated by Tony Turnbull, (former P.M) on establishing unworkable education experiment in Queensland. Looking on admiringly the real P.M of Australia, Rupert Ceasar, ‘ruler of everything’, ( ‘buyer of souls, Lord of darkness’, etc.etc.)

Then from the Jimmy whatsit show, Johnny Depp suggested that the Deputy Prime Minister was the result of interbreeding between a human and a tomato. Mr Depp suggested that the deputy was likely to explode. That was not a dead cat moment, that was a leitmotif to the general circus. Mr Joyce, Described as ‘Barnaby Jones’ by Depp, was equivocal suggesting Mr Depp get over it. But I understand Johnny, it’s cost him his marriage, clearly a consequence of the Boo and Pistol incident. Barnaby suggested that if they didn’t bugger off they’d be put down. A dead dog moment perhaps, but I cant be retrospective. Dead dogs are not a Dead Cat Moment.

Could’ve been ‘Safe Schools’. That leftist claptrap threatened the sanctity of aussie kiddie- hood. But George,(Christiansen) has already made his stand. Still we’re excited about Mr Morrison talking about negative gearing and proof, courtesy of the Property Council, that it’ll lead us to the end of Christendom, and civilisation as we know it. But once again, not a gold-edged dead cat moment. So we wait. Will it be children overboard? The threat of a intractable disease brought upon us by people from Africa?

Lynton is well known in the U.K.

We cannot predict which way Crosby Textor will go, but rumours abound. There was a rumour that the coalition could go all gay, and out the Minster for Science and Technology. Or wait for it, suggest that China could be on the verge of financial meltdown. That’ll send a tremor. But it can’t ever ever happen, cos China’s leadership tell us so. We feel it ‘ll be about jobs and growth and border security. Labor, will be wedged. It’ll be a defence contract perhaps? The sacred heartland of our noble, self sacrificing, eternal flame of Anzac? Perhaps some labor aparatchik, (Stephen Conroy) will question our noble pursuit of civilising the middle east, and cast doubt upon the heroic noble and eternally righteous sons of Anzac who have annointed the heathen, the wretched and the idolatrous with progress?

Could Malcolm be his own “Dead Cat Moment”?

Unfortunately it’ll be neither of those. The Dead Cat Moment will come in the form of the usual. A scare campaign.

If you vote labor, you’ll lose your house. You wont be able to send your kiddies to a private school and those who have ridden the road to real estate success may have to part with some of their bounty by giving a fragment to a lazy slob. It doesn’t matter how much. It’s the principle. And that’s neither here nor there. Ether way you lose. Keep the faith, play it safe, Vote Liberal. Cos that’s what the Liberals are famous for; ‘continuity and change’. Ideas are dangerous.

Bring on the Dead Cat.