The minister as a younger minister

Dear reader it has been suggested that the Ideas boom website is a little bureaucratic and genuinely good ideas, are failing to get through. We don’t think this is so. We recently trialled an innovative idea, and it was met with an enthusiastic response from none other than the federal minister himself.

Leadership. A clear direction, bold new ideas, and vision.

And the minister has written to us this twelve point plan to assist, with putting your innovative idea though to his department.

Here then is the process;

1. Registration of the innovative idea. Idea must be expressed in two lines, (maximum twenty five words) and state it’s intent, practical use, and intended market. Also all submissions must be marked ‘An Innovative Idea’ and clearly in triplicate. Pencilled or crayon entries will not be accepted. Only one innovative idea will be accepted per submission. All ideas MUST be industry orientated. Philosophical, political or social treatises are unacceptable, and WILL BE DESTROYED!!
2. All proposals must be forwarded to the Minerals and Energy Council to ensure that core innovation functions, ( mining ) are not disadvantaged by “dangerous new ideas”.
3. All proposals must be forwarded to the Australian Property Council to ensure that core innovation functions, (real estate) are not disadvantaged by ‘dangerous new ideas’.
4. If both parties are unanimous that core interests are protected, the proposal is then handed over to representatives from News Limited to ensure near monopolisation of media market is not impugned
5. After registration and submission to the ACL, (Australia Christian Lobby), the ideas, (taken that they do not contravene the sacred rites of marriage, gender and open- ness as enshrined by god), are forwarded to the federal government ‘s innovation assessment committee
6. The Australian Research Science Enterprise (ARSE) assessment committee is a broad based group made up of executives from Border force, who will assist in the design of new (ARSE) uniforms.
7.  Vetting by Larrry Marshall , CEO of CSIRO to ensure that ideas enshrine WBP in delivering practical industrial and commercial outcomes to australian industry as offset to cascading job losses in research wing of CSIRO. Rebadged, CIRO (Coal Industry Resource Organisation)
8. Concept is then forwarded to the Australian chamber of manufacturing commerce and industry to ensure that the ‘idea’ does not contravene work place, law, copyright and licensing laws, require local industry to think too hard, and contravene existing cosy private public partnership arrangements, and current rent seeking arrangements between industry and federal agencies.
9. Concept, if successful is forwarded to the promotions sub committee, The promotions sub committee will flag the idea, and develop advertising, logo, and jingle with enthusiastic co-operation of Mike Brady, (‘up there Cazaly’) or John E Farnham, (‘the voice’) for public identification of ‘idea” as a catchy jingle.
10. Product development , after passing all these phases, the idea is then developed by representatives from all of the above and coordinated development strategy initiated as discussion paper, projected growth index, and white paper. (This may take some years).
11.  If idea still ‘fresh’ and relevant, (subject to certain industrial espionage from overseas agencies) interested parties in China sought under terms of the FTA, to develop working prototype. And ongoing liaison with Australia Council representatives to determine artistic logo design and find suitable models and locale for product launch.
12. Unveiling of product after manufacturer found. First option to utilise Sth Australian industry. In light of recent events, overseas manufacturer and finance will be sought as public private partnership.