Sensational news. Just last week, we at pcbycp were in a fix. We’d run out of milk for the morning tea, and Wally the plumber who suffers from lumbago, said that as he was late home from Bingo the other night, he couldn’t drop by and deliver the briquettes as promised. WE were in a word, “stuffed” the weather is getting quite nippy and we’d planned to do a mailout of posters to be put outside milk bars, (another threatened species) and Tabaret’s, warning of the dangers of global warming.
Our corner milk bar. Soon to be converted by the Shen Wah corporation.
We’ve been tirelessly performing this task since 2017. It was an initative of Ms Krinklade the typesetter when she had to wait for the Centrelink lady to call her back. She thought something must be done about global warming, and rather than wait on the phone, she put it on hold, and planted three rows of cabbages in the backyard. Not content with this, she wandered down to the local service station and had quite a significant talk to Achmed, the attendant, and he promised on the spot, to use paper rather than plastic bags. “Act locally, think globally” she said, and Achmed salaamed her as she trotted own back home, only to find that the call was still on hold from Centrelink.
Mr Sidebotham on the Roneo Machine
Because we couldn’t get the briquettes, and none of us had a car, (declared unroadworthy by the Public Safety Officer and being ineligible for the imported vehicles tax benefit ) as outlined in the new tax cuts, we had a bit of a think tank session. Clarrie, the typist, (we employ old- school types at pcbycp) suggested that as we were in actual fact a small business we might be eligible for one of the Federal Government start up funds. He also said that as we were a charity we might be able to augment the cost of briquettes with the company tax offset benefit 2. B, and get the briquettes delivered for free. And, this was the exciting part, he suggested that as we were both a small business and a charity, with a proven track record in sending out leaflets, fridge magnets and “have a nice day badges” with a ‘fight global warming’ message, we might be eligible for one of the Federal Government grants. Grants designed to tackle really significant issues like global warming or saving the Great Barrier Reef.
Mr Sidebotham, (the typesetter) and Mrs Rintoul, the Roneo machine operator filled out the correct forms and typed a request. We put the “Save the panet and act locally think globally” on the letterhead, and sent it off to Canberra with a request to seek 15.95, for the briqeuettes, and $1.55 for the milk allowance.
Yesterday we received a cheque for five hundred million dollars.
Clarrie and Wally in the staff room talking about the Tax offset B.
WE are besides ourselves with joy. We’ve just relisted pcbycp as a charitable mimimum liability fund in the Bahamas, and Clarrie is receiving augmented facial enhancement surgery as we type.
We’ve been saved by the Federal Government. They require no paper work. No aquittal, nothing, but the affirmation from our side that we’re doing the heavy lifting.
Thankyou Federal Government, you’ve proved you care.
The planet will be a better place for it.
The new Aston Martin DB 9 arrives tomorrow, we’ll need it to demonstrate we’re a significant charity from now on. We’re all on senior management salaries. If we didn’t, no one would respect us. 