Michaelia Cash, demonstrating just how to enthuse young folk in embracing the four dollar an hour regime.
Dear reader cast your mind back to 1980.
Way back then, I was an arts student looking for some extra coin. Found a job at ‘Phantom India’. My girlfriend worked at ‘Rajah Sahibs’ in Bank Place. The first two Indian restaurants in Melbourne. For four bucks and hour I learnt everything I know about Indian food and indentured labour.
Four bucks wasn’t much then, but as an extra, you got to scrape the plates as they came in from the dining room, and scoff the stuff that some rude bastard hadn’t put a ciggy butt in. As an added bonus, cos of the tax scheme in those days, the restaurant was chocka block at lunch, cos lunch, (on business of course) was entirely one hundred percent tax deductible.
I multi skilled, being dish washer and toilet cleaner. I learnt everything about what the Federal Government proposes to do with its new training scheme. I agree with Michaelia Cash, it’ really tricky doing the dishes. These are skills kids need to be rigorously trained in. Cleaning the dunny, is way over the top. We MUST have to indenture little buggers on the dole so they can be multi skilled like I was. Endure a proper training regime to learn how to do the dishes, wipe the tables and clean the dunny. And, I almost forgot, stack the industrial dishwasher, and keep those pots and frypans spotlessly clean.
bidi’s
Learnt about Hygiene also. Always wiped the tables, dried the dishes and wiped the toilet with the same cloth. It was both Hygienic and economical. The cooks, all who were southern Indian. Didn’t seem to are much about hygiene. I spose that’s an upper level skill you need to go to uni for. They’d leave the half-cooked Prawns out in the laneway to marinade with the local rats and mice. Same for the yoghurt and cheese, sort of left on the rack, but we never had any probs from the health department. We sort of inspected it ourselves when we’d go out for the odd smoke on a bidi. Those funny little cigarettes that look like tea leaves.
New opportunities exist for internships in ‘Ideas Boom’ orientated businesses
Learnt a lot about Indian culture also. I was the only sahib on the job, and there was a sort of informal caste system. The boss was a brahmin, I think that’s top dog, and al the staff, were shudra’s. The boss was a reasonable sort of bloke, but his brother was a complete fucking bastard. He displayed all the chippiness of the bugger who shares in the profit but never built the business. Best example of why we need a wealth tax now. He was the bugger who paid us, and it was all cash. You’d have to ask too. Cos if you didn’t he’d piss off and you’d have to wait till the next week. And a sort of post colonial caste system was at work. I endured numerous practical jokes because of what “we” did to the locals during the Raj. No thanks for civilising the poor bastards I thought.
Malcolm. as a younger man. A internship of sorts.
Eventually the restaurant got into a bit of trouble with the union and the tax office. The boss had all the staff indentured and living in his garage in Kew. The union was all over it, so was the health department. I put up my hand, but as the token local, was told more or less, “ piss off back to uni you long haired wanker” which I did. Later the boss was the architect most recently of a chicken processing scandal. Where as usual the staff were underpaid and cruelly exploited. I laughed, ‘He’s at it again and just like ol times’ I knew he’s get slap on the wrist and move on, doing the same ol.
Same checks and balances to ensure compliance.
When the federal government tell us that this high level training scheme will not be rorted I laugh, And I know why. Cos all the pollies in government now, never ever did a mundane job. Don’t think Malcolm Abbott ever cleaned toilets. With the skills I learnt I got a job with Metro Cleaning. Cleaning toilets as a “professional” and windows from 3.am till midday in Central Melbourne. My skills base just grew and grew. I learnt that those who never toiled in toilets, literally always bang on about how important it is for others to enjoy the ‘nobility of work’. There’s an irony in that. Think it’s lost on Malcolm though.
The average american demonstrates the bounty of working for nothing.
In hindsight I learnt another thing. I’d knock off at about midnight and make my way on foot by Carlton to Fitzroy. (Our three bedroom terrace rented at fifty dollars per week. Could’ve bought it for seventy thou). By the time I turned into Nicholson street, my bowels would be straining under the weight of ‘Kabulli Channa’, ‘Lamb Madras’, ‘Prawn Balichow’ and Samosas mixed with copious amounts of rice. I’d just make it home. Breathlessly fumble the key in the lock, race upstairs to the loo and fulminate all over the bowl as my internals erupted to the delights of exotic food. This was clearly a precursor to the ‘Ideas Boom’. Glad they’re de-funding real education. I like to think that in this respect I was a pioneer. Hence my clarity of exposition on the subject of four dollars an hour.
And all I did, was spend a penny.