Impressive at the podium, (teleporter). Pyne and Turnbull, (our current P.M) after teleporting, announce their arrival from Canberramede star system.
Nothing infantile about the innovation revolution
Dear reader, just yesterday I caught myself reading the Guardian. Nothing peculiar about that, but on the right hand margin with insistent regularity flashed a pop up advert. It was graphically composed very much in the tradition of ‘Stay Calm’, with the “Join in on the Federal Government ideas Boom”. It encouraged me to take a look, and irresistibly drawn by wonders of innovation, I was led to a site telling me precisely how the federal government was here to help me innovate. All the while the little advert in the left hand corner kept changing in the same monochromatic style with ‘Join the ideas boom’, with new headers ‘Scientists’, and ‘Research’ and ‘Innovation Entrepreneur’. And when I turned, (as instructed enthusiastically) to the web page I encountered earnest and serious people in meetings, graphs, industrial designers, white boards, ipads and other electronic devices clutched earnestly, pausing just as I clicked to raise their innovative gaze from an electron microscope.
The ideas boom. “Beam me up Scotty”
This ideas boom stuff is like the opening credits to Star Trek. Who wouldn’t want to get on board?
They’ve got it nailed these government adverts. The message is clear. The innovation revolution is not about thinking. That’s silly, dangerous, and subversive. The campaign is about supplying new product. We need product.
Turnbull and Pyne before teleporting from Canberramyde star system. Uniforms generously donated by the Minister for Innovation, the Rt Hon. Christopher Pyne, (from his personal collection)
Wake up scientists, CSIRO climate division researchers. Innovation is not about thinking beyond the square, but how to make that square more appealing. More market-able. The policy is simple and digestible. Talk of innovation and it will come.
The government is justifiably proud!
Who couldn’t resist thinking about just a few of the things this recent government has done to further the rise of ideas and innovation? For starters, there’s being unbridled faith in the free market. This has seen our property residential sector boom. This is short-termism at its purest. Unrestrained from the fetters of planning, historical wisdom and infrastructure. Some of these new housing estates have water sensitive urban design principles and underground lighting mandated . That’s Innovative!!
Technical training was made industry accountable by allowing private entrepreneurs to revolutionaise tertiary and trades training. With the devolution of tafe, and an explosion of private training colleges enrollments went up like topsy. And when the dust settled it was revealed, an entire generation had been left untrained. That’ s Innovative!!
Then there’s the Business Council, who see innovation as a pursuit to drive down wages, the de funding of healthcare, tertiary institutions, and wishful thinking, (that’s closely aligned with innovation) reliant upon a mono-economy based on real estate that wont bust. Now that’s breathtakingly Innovative!!
Wishful thinking demonstrates strong leadership. The government is quite right to be optimistic towards the far sighted visionaries in the coal industry who innovated to make their product, the most carbon polluting and least efficient product unchanged since the industrial revolution, as the savour of HUMANITY. And, more innovative still, to deadlock, stymie and stiff the expansion of renewables and destroy the CSIRO all at the same time.
The message is clear; be like Bill Gates, (saviour of human kind) and the world will be our oyster.
Thinking, walking, talking Innovation.
This ideas boom has got me going, I love the ads, and I love the way the property council have lobbied like the miners to ensure that negative gearing inequitable super laws, and the kleptocracy of driving the poor onto generational poverty are ensured for ever an ever. That’s innovative!
I’m also mesmerised by the fact that truly remarkable clever, and ‘ideas’ people are not really celebrated at all in this country, and quietly encouraged to go off and be clever elsewhere. That’s exporting innovation.
So hooray for the “Ideas boom and the innovation revolution’, these adverts are lovely. Think innovation and it will come. Think innovation and the car industry will be reborn, and think innovation, and think Eric Abetz, Kevin Andrews, Greg Christiansen, and Corey Bernardii. They’ve innovated so much they’ve ensured that the fundamentalist looney conservative 5 % control the entirety of this country.
Now that’s innovative!!