Technically speaking Barnaby Joyce is still the leader. 

You know he’s quite right when he says he’s still “the elected leader” The elected deputy leader of the Australian Government. Even though he got demoted for shagging. Actually we need to qualify here. He had to stand down whilst they sorted out whether he was shagging his press secretary whilst being married? Hang on. That’s not an offence. 

He was shagging his press secretary whilst talking about family values? Well that’s not sackable.

He was shagging his press secretary whilst he allowed millions of innocent fish to die in the Darling? That’s not sackable

He was shagging his press secretary whilst talking about family values, the sin of abortion, and how he’s a deeply religious man? Well that’s not sackable either. 

He was shagging his secretary, pretending to be happily married whilst living rent fee in a mates hotel whilst claiming a travel allowance? Well that’s not sackable either. 

Well then you may ask, what was he given the boot for?

Well, we think it was because he made of fool of himself and in doing so made a mockery of the esteemed position of Deputy PM. What’s esteemed abut contemporary politics you may ask?

The elected deputy leader.

Being deputy PM is terribly serious. When the P.M’s away( whoever it may be at a given time), Barnaby is in power.

You don’t want the ‘beet rooter’ in power when all the above are going on, cos the PM has to be relied upon to make big decisions. Like put coal back on the floor of parliament, stymie any energy policy, denigrate poor people as wankers and bludgers, and stoke the fires of parochialism. 

But Barnaby had got a point, he was,  is , may have been,  the elected deputy leader. This other bloke aint a patch on Barnaby. Won the last by-election by a romp by not telling anyone he was shagging his press secretary and pretended he was living at home with the missus and the kiddies .

Which aint half bad. For fucks sake Give Barnaby back his job. 

You know come to think of it, Harold Holt should still be our elected leader, never lost an election, never officially retired. 

And whilst we’re at it, Lord Kitchener, (god bless him) is still in charge of ANZAC. 

You think were laughing

Matter of fact, when you come to think of it, Who elected who? 

What about the full bench of the Fair Work Commission, what about other politically appointed sinecurists and straps?

Well you may think this is silly, 

But George Pell is still a Cardinal?