WE pretended that this was our office. And our editorial staff at work. It was a LIE!

We’ve had to come clean at pcbycp. Recently, you may have been under the impression that we were fair dinkum about being a serious contender in the independent journalism field. You may have felt reassured when we had a real red-hot go at sacred cows like mining, politicians and Philanthropic trusts we were acting for the underdog . We embodied the spirit of telling it the way it is. You may even have felt that we told it so straight, and down the line. That the last thing we could be is be a simpering enclave of smug sinecurist satraps, fulminating whilst we sip pina-coladas. 

You probably imagined us burning the Australian flag as a demonstration of our independence. Or mixing up the recycling bin as an act of defiance against an opressive society. Or Jaywalking, when we don’t even need to cross the street in the first place.  And you probably felt, our coverage of the Australian Space Agency’s Mars base was the most up to date forthright bit of reportage since we stopped beaming short wave across the Pacific. We stood for something, WE stood for ideals as egalitarian as Sunday roast and a pie at the footy. 

In actual fact we used OUR philanthropic tax free funds to pay for this man. To do OUR BIDDING!

But, it was all a SHAM!

We are not who we pretend to be. The truth is out. We’ll come clean. Cleaner than “CLEAN COAL”! We’ll assert a new set of fundamentals, and play it straight. You thought we were sincere. You thought we were broke. 

That was a LIE!

And secretly we funded people like this who never ever did a real job EVER to get into Parliament!

It has emerged, as a charitable institution, we get tax breaks. And you thought we needed the tax breaks cos we were poor.  Tax breaks sorely needed so that our brand of journalism can flourish. So that our viewpoint can be balanced and hold fast against the tide of mediocrity. 

To be honest we‘ve been floating in cash. We’ve never had a cash flow problem, we’ve been playing to the piper, an the piper, big, bigger than you’ll find anywhere, controls the whole bloody orchestra. And we, at the end of the conga line, are little more than the triangle player in the great celestial firmamment of journalism. 

Gina Rinehart has been paying us to keep our portal open, last year it was 2.4 million. This year a cool 4 million. Just like that! Tax free. And without question. That’s when we started on the Australian space race and the world’s first ever coal poowered rocket ship. That’s when we caved in and began our series on clean coal. Advocating clean coal to be served in kindergartens and primary schools for breakfast. And then, we went the full kebab, and repudiated lock stock and barrel climate science, for the warm pancake theory. The warm pancake theory presupposed that the earth and every living thing is on a metaphorical frypan, and as it gets hotter, we can just add more toppings. The hotter the better. 

Amd we paid for ads like this! To keep us FREE and SAFE from Climate Science!

We have the science to prove it and it’s irrrefutable, cos Lord Monckton, Lord Tony of Abbott and Gina said so. 

And this week, we’ll be proving that abortion kills whales, that God was a spaceman, and that Hillary Clinton is a transvestite Russian former KGB agent  working for China. We have the proof, and we’re just waiting for the word from Lord Rupert to let it out. 

Incidentally the money Gina gave us was well spent, WE have a new pcbycp coporate jet, and a new wing in the new maxi prison Barwon named after us, so that crims, being processed through our justice system may aspire and be rehabilitated morally. When they’re set free, jobless, unemployable and broken. 

And POWER the FUTURE with SAFE, RELIABLE CLEAN COAL. And protect WHALES!!

As Gina says says, if it aint broke don’t fix it.