At last “The Man who wanted to be PM” is standing up for women. On the floor of Parliament, with the last few remaining women in the Liberal Party he decried the abuse of women. Determined to show leadership on the issue he issued a statement that his party will contribute a large sum of money, almost as large as that committed to saving the Orange Bellied Parrot to a charity. And that charity will do something about the near extinction of women in his party. Not quite as much as the thirty million given to Rupert for free, or the five hundred million to the other charity to do posters on the Great Barrier Reef, but still, nonetheless, a very significant amount of money. Money that will be put into research to find out just why women are dissappearing from the Liberal Party. He acknowledged, there are still great opportuntites for women in the party. “At out last National Conference, not all the tea ladies were women, which shows there’s still ranks to be filled. A potential limited only by womens imagination”! 
The ranks of women behind the PM, all nodded in furious agreement. And to further their cause the Minister for “Expensive Military Projects now we’ve killed off Car Manufacturing”, Christopher Pyne sat down amongst them. A show of true solidarity. On hand Mitch Fifield added weight to the PM’s determination. “We’re gonna establish a task force. And we’ll use some of the money we’ve gained after axing all those jobs at the ABC, and having a go at those malcontents Emma Alberici and Laura Tingle for asking tricky question will be funneled into a “Ministry for Womens Issues”. To head the taskforce, we’ve got the former P.M Tony Abbott. Christ mate, he’s got three daughters, a wife, and he worked with Peta Credlin, If he can’t tackle the sheilah problem no-one else can. I can tell you here and now there’s no problem with the party on misogyny. And besides, I identitfy with those women who can’t get pre-selection in any of our branches. Probably because, they’re not good lookin enough. Now I come to think of it, my mother may have been a woman”?
The Senator for Multicultralism, Tokenism and Window Dressing, Ms Feravanti Wells was on hand to offer her furious support. “There is no bar for women in the party. They can seek pre selection and be rest-assured that they will stand side by side with their male colleagues. And though they may not wear a recognisable fashion label thay may still be seen as equals. Even though they may not find the paltry two hundred though enough to sustain their lifestyle’.
Asked if the spate of violent attacks had anything to do with the sustained government de-funding of education, mental health services, community and everything, the PM, rebuffed: “There is no link with other externalities. This is a problem we must all tackle in lock step and prove this is beyond a gesture. To guarantee women are safe, and able to do what we blokes take for granted.
And make a significant gesture about where we’re at as a society”
A vandalised bunch of flowers in a park.
And another dead woman. 