Team Netherlands celebrate in Adelaide.
In startling news the first of the solar challenge renewable vehicles crossed the finish line in Adeaide in record time. The first two place-getters from Germany and the Netherlands were followed across the line by an Australian vehicle. Designed and built wholly by local students. Amid popping of corks and much laughter, the third place getters strode to the rostrum to receive their garland of flowers. A fitting tribute to a job well done.
And what a triumph of engineering and “can- do-ism”. In spite of the Holden plant closing down, signalling the end of an era in Australian manufacturing, from economic power house to the wiping of bums, (aged care facilities have seen a dramatic increase in highly skilled automotive and mechanical engineers applying for services in this department) the future seems bright under the antipodean sun. There may yet be a place for manufacturing in this country? Though universities have been converted into vertically integrated visa factories and the idea of ideas, is decidedly out of favour, there are bold new technologies afoot, and they threaten to change the very fabric of life itself.
But to their surprise, upon the rostrum, to receive the award was King Coal. King (or ‘Kingsley’ as he is known to his friends) received the applause form the adoring crowd and had this much to say: ‘You might think these kiddies from the uni deserve something for their efforts? You’d be wong. It’s my desire to ensure that no credit be given to this team during the current term of the Turnbull Government.
Apart from keeping you lot in the dark, (much laughter) the whole idea of energy from the sun just wont work. And it’s unsafe. According to Saint Tone of Sanatamaria, climate change if it exists at all is a boon. It’ll stop people from dying in cold snaps, and will create outstanding benefits to humanity. Such as warming the oceans, which’ll make it much easier to swim in them all year round. And ripening coconuts. And by putting cities under water. Once under water the major coastal centres will be more ike Venice and it’ll be a boon for tourism.
Clutching the award for the most efficient solar vehicle, King Coal, was on hand to acept a large piece of superbly crafted coal handed to him by the treasurer Scott Morrison. “This is the future, behold a new era for australian industry. We call upon leaders in Australian industry to accept coal as the future source of all our power needs. Though hideousy expensive, filthy and yearerday, it’s a symbol of what we can all achieve if we just close our minds to innovation.
And that can only mean one thing.
Someone somewhere along the line gets the benefit of a new energy source. Not coal itself, not solar, nor hydro, wind, nuclear, or fission, not even the power of the tide nor gravitational waves, but what keeps Australian industry, (what’s left of it) going.
Ladies and Genteleman, the new force of Australian manufacturing, the “kick back”, and the vehicle to drive it, courtesy of Serco, “ Rent-Seeker One“.
A new future, a new destiny”.
