Freedom to TELL ALL! A noble sacrifice for the good of Australia. WE SHARE THEIR TEARS!!
It’s become increasingly difficult coping with the news. And harder still making sense of the seemingly trivial local issues and the wider context of seriously important global issues! In fact we suggest you put the i phone, the i pad, the lap top, (and for those of you who are really paleolithic, the newspaper) down and reflect on just how lucky you are. You can sip your tea, and spread marmalade evenly upon your toast whilst acknowledging how lucky we are in Australia. Not only do we have a burgeoning economy based solely upon the incalculable value of REAL ESTATE, but our continent, as the song goes in “gird by sea”. That’s it. It renders us SAFE! It renders us SECURE! And it allows us to fully exploit the freedom to be fined, taxed, coerced and belittled by a political class solely interested in themselves. So that rent seeking corporations may continue to PAY NO TAX! This is reassuring. Because “WE” are superfluous to the maintenance of a SOCIETY, and have no say on really important decisions that affect all of us, we can go on blithely, happy in the contentment that we shop. And occasionally feel pity and contempt for those who can’t . They can’t, because they’re poor. And their poverty is deserved becaue of their intractable LAZINESS!.
That’s why we stayed up last night to watch Barbaby and his missus talk about their travails. Barnaby proclaimed, (he likes to proclaim) he didn’t give a stuff about the politics of his decision to dump everything for his sheila. “The voters, the parliament, the whole fucken system can just get stuffed”.
Freedom to SHOP 24/7!
Onya Barnaby. You treat the voters like you treat the Lesser Barrier Reef and the Murray Darling. You wont take that greeny, leftist shit about serving the greater good. We’re on your side Barnaby. What good ever came of working through a consensus and long term goals for the greater good? You demonstrate the way ahead. And in doing so, provide all of us supine, meek, pusillaminous voters someone to look up to. We admire you Barnaby. You reinstate our sense of self. By talking down to us, you make us feel that you, (unlike all the other pollies) are more human. And you demonstrate the relativity between LOCAL and GLOBAL issues.
Freedom to Invest in REAL ESTATE!
Cos, OUTSIDE of Australia. (insert, the Happiest most freedom loving fair minded continent on earth) non-human forces are at work. Forces that would take away our sovereignty, and make us all SLAVES. We will not mince words here. Russia is keen to make us all serfs. And China, (we are courageously aware of the risk we take in saying this) is keen to turn us all into communists. And much worse. ROBOTS!
Freedom to LIVE IN FEAR!
WE know that Peter Dutton is sworn to protect us. He guides us on determining whether Islam is a worse threat than the insidious Chinese influence. The influence, we have no power to control. It’s easy to resist ISIS, but impossible to resist the need to shop. The need to shop and buy shit we don’t need. And nigh impossible to resist the lure of real estate. That’s why we’re glad for the likes of Peter and Barnaby. To show us the way. And keep us free. And to be very fearful. Fearful of what we may lose if we drop our guard. Fearful of the outside world and the LURE of WOMEN, both of which are dangerous. And fearful about what lurks on our streets.
That is the price of freedom, eternal fear. And a cheque for 150,000 from Channel Seven