Dear reader, not much going on in the news these days. There’s an election in the U.S which just gets sillier and sillier, and dead as usual in the frenetic world of Australian politics.

P.M for ‘Ideas and thought bubbles and Innovation and everyfink’. Pushing the envelope with progressive reformist legislation.

Importantly though, the P.M for “Innovation and thought bubbles’ has come up with some really progressive legislation. After cutting funding to science, research, education, healthcare and everything the ‘thought and ideas P.M’ has come to something we can all agree on. It’s the sort of legislation that goes to the founding principles of what we are as a nation. In keeping with the spirit of the first ever act passed in the federal parliament in 1901, (the Immigration restriction act).

He’s proposing the ‘Poor Refugee Punishment Act’. This is the sort of legislation that puts us at the forefront of progressive thinking. The act is simple. If you come to this country in any other means than first class, (favoured by upper echelon members of the communist party) or Business Class (favoured by lesser tier communist party members) and you have no intention of purchasing a portfolio of expensive investment properties in Australia, (under approval form the Property Council) you will be sent back to where you came from. You will also forfeit your right to ever come back, and you will not get two hundred.

At last evidence of a truly great mind. A truly noble piece of legislation, from arguably Australia’s greatest, thinking Prime Minister EVER.

And now just to nurture that sense of nostalgia, we bring you the very last fragment from our series , ‘Toys of Yesteryear’, or ‘Toys and Games that never quite made it’. Or, just stuff.

Original Cover Art.

Clue- Less  Twaddintons Toys

Clueless is a popular game first released in 1964. Released at the end of the parliamentary year by the press council who declared their bafflement to the Government’s purchase of the untried, untested, F 1 11 bombers. It was offered as a satire on the parliamentary decision making process. As a satirical game, it should have gone extremely well. But increasingly as is evident in this current prototype, no game can adequately try to satirize the true idiocy of contemporary politics. The object of the game is to find who is responsible for murdering democracy. Game counters are simple plastic cones, and names attributed to suspects on black faced cards. Murder weapons, (of which there are an infinite variety) are spread around the board, and clues, amassed on pieces of paper. After a process of deduction the murdered would be found, and the winner proclaimed, Once a simple game, recent events in parliament have revealed it all too complex, All politicians, (excepting One Nation’s Malcolm Roberts for reasons of insanity) being responsible for murdering democracy. After considerable expense, the game has undergone several major overhauls, but has failed to find a buyer and may be re-badged in the U.S as ‘Trump Empire’.

Glorious George  Knobhead Toys

Glorious George is another attempt to market the personality of another ambitious Queensland politician to the public at large. The toy is modeled on a spinning top. The only significant departure from a spinning top itself is the propensity for the top to spin wildly across the game board. The game board consists of a stylised map of Australia and slogans to which the top, when spinning, can lodge itself into a groove. The grooves are labeled “ progressive” and ‘fundamentalist”. If the top spins into the ‘progressive’ groove every effort must be made to extricate it, or the process of parliament, legislation and ‘everything’ stops dead. Losing the game. If the other groove, reactionary fundamentalist looney right conservative’ is entered, parliament stops just the same, but the country is left to the Property Council who will sell off other chunks of Australia. When all the chunks are sold off and the other players are absolutely sure that innovation, the environment, manufacturing, education, health and imagination within the body politic are completely destroyed, the game is won.

Glorious George. Unfortunately, no copies of the original Toy spinning top cover art exist.