Our re-badged wines offer a distinctive individualised touch.

Perfect for a love “that dare not speak its name’!

Due to an unexpected windfall we have come into the possession of a substantial quantity of fine wine. We had no idea how the wine arrived, cept to say that as Clarrie left the front door of our (disused) milk bar to wander down to the dole office to report on his job seeking compliance, (we knew he’d be gone most of the day)  when he returned the shop was chock a block with grog. All of it was stacked in plain brown cardboard boxes. The Boxes had stencilled onto the uppermost side a label, ‘Benfolds Grange Hermitage’. We studied the boxes but could find no sign of ownership. Rather than argue the toss, Cecil suggested we open one of the boxes and to our surprise there was a letter  enclosed. 

It went like this. “Dear Mr Robb, in appreciation of all that you have done to propitiate the belt and road initiative we send you this gift of Benfolds Grange. These two dozen boxes are yours to enjoy and proof of your sterling efforts in supporting our policy of exterminating Uighurs and stomping on Tibetans. In this regard your blinded eye has been of the utmost service, Enjoy the wine. 

Nicer label than Grange, Its washable, and comes in eight different sizes.

P.S you’re sacked’. 

A red hot special for leadership Wannabees!

‘Well’, said Cecil. “I dunno who this Robb bloke is, but we might as well give it a try”. And in seconds flat we had the first, the second, then the third.  It pays to qualify the tasting process, and we decided it wasn’t too bad. 

For those who’ve tossed aside their Jack Daniels for something “Stormier”….

And then quicker than it took to bypass a credentialed Sheila for preselection  in the Coalition, or quicker than it took Julian Burnside to repudiate his allegiance to a homophobic club of misogynistic climate change deniers we had a brilliant idea. To  rename them, (cos we respect copyright) as our own. And unleash them to our faithful readership. 

A heavy drop with a hint of SUICIDE!

So there you have it. For for those looking forward to a bout of confessionals, feeling like drinking full form the body of christ, the blood of Tony Abbotts Paris climate deal redemption, then seek no further.  An exclusive offer to savour some of the most distinctive wines at a fair price.

“Hmm.. Is that the whiff of hypocrisy”?.

Each vintage has been sourced from the most exquisitely refined materials, bottled by hand with real cork and blessed by a rabbi, a reverend and a mufti who have as a basic preliminary walked into a bar.   And the verdict is “ Superb’.  Each wine is individually crafted to uphold a range of distinctive and exceptional characteristics. 

For the Club man or woman we present the “ Burnside”. The Burnside promises a balanced and informed palette with light touches of hubris and sanctimony. Once sipped you’ll saviour fully the delight of an aromatic wine with traces of bats piss. 

Yours to enjoy. 

And savour.