Part of the acting P.M’s art collection.
Dear reader it is with considerable excitement we report to you breathlessly the latest trends from Canberra. And we’re very happy to say, that there’s real leadership coming from the acting PM Mr John Howard.
Acting P.M in national costume.
The week before last he reminded us what a disaster it would be to have a treaty with Aboriginal Australia. He was quite correct. It would be a disaster, and quite emphatically break the sacred bond of trust we all share to look after these wretched accursed peoples for their own good. Proving his point Mr Howard pointed to his favourite depiction of Aboriginal Australia, (the jacaranda student wall map of 1953) and said, “ see here, they’re happy folk wandering around the desert, free to walkabout and gather things in areas not yet restricted by atomic testing. This was their lot before they were given the vote. I’m proud to say this wall map guided me in my ambition to become Prime Minister’.
Pausing briefly he turned to the camera, and said: and now I’ve been asked to return as nations elder statesman, sage, overlord, peacemaker, I must remind you that freedom is a gift. And on that we should think very clearly about giving it away. For example the vexed issue of political donations, why should we want to give that one up? It’s stood us in good stead. And I’m surprised that the other acting PM Mr Malcolm Turnbull would want to eschew such providence that comes brimming full from dear friends and benefactors, in newly minted dollars, Yuan, and other negotiable funds transfer liquidity options. This is the lifeblood of our democracy, and without it, the people would have an equal say in the scheme of things, that might even give the aborigines a voice, and that would rock the very foundation of the society we prosper in’.
Republic referenda. Establishing the template for the marriage plebiscite.
Mr Howard, qualified his position, as acting P.M. ‘I’ve got to make the tough decisions. I need to be tough on immigration and asylum seekers, and i’ll be tough on anyone who doesn’t respect the glorious, noble, self sacrificing eternal hero-dom of our sons and daughters of Anzac who are renowned the world over for giving the light of civilization to accursed peoples of Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, etc. Just as I was tough on One Nation and all the policies we’ve stolen from them.
I’ll also let you know I have some very strong views on same sex marriage. As I see it there’s no such thing nor ever there will be , and I’m greatly pleased that the plebiscite model will prove as effective as my republican referenda model in ensuring that nothing ever changes. And the Australian, economy, envy of the world over is on an excellent footing. Housing prices are going though the roof and only the preferred generation of elder australians are graced with the knowledge that all subsequent generations will live in abject poverty as a perpetual serfdom to us the uber baby boomers.
Australia 2016. Ming Rules. O.K!
As acting PM I’m exceedingly proud to narrate the true story of Ming, a man who began the experiment of education, health care, and opportunity, so that we could close it all down. And my objective complete to prove that once and for all the great experiment of the big society has made us all just that bit diminished, and small. Like myself’.