Hey Kids. Not all terrorists wear beards and hold a copy of the KORAN. These two are the sneaky type terrorists. We lock them up for our own SAFETY!

Great news from Canberra. The new draconian terrorist laws are at last being put to good use. We’ve been worried since 9/11 about public safety. Every day our anti terrorist fridge magnets remind us of just how vulnerable we are . And the clock keeps ticking on when we’ll have to go into lockdown at pcbycp headquarters. We practise a drill every Thursday just after morning tea. Clarrie, rings the bell, which gives us five minutes to prepare for “Lockdown mode”. 

No time for black armband view of History. Australians deserve to be SAFE!

WE gather up loose items of furniture, like the technicolour poof and the velour bean bags, and ensure that in the event of a cataclysmic event, we are ready. Mrs Rintoul hands out gas masks, a tin whistle, a safety vest and the utility belts. Each belt is equipped with a pair of plyers, a bicycle pump and rolls of electricians tape. We have it on good authority that terrorists like to tape up alarm clocks, mobile phones, anything that can be used as an explosive decvice, so one can’t be too careful. Then, with just a minute to go Mrs Crinklade presses the button which makes the office go “Code Red”. All of a sudden a flashing light, (it was borrowed of Clarries’ emergency services vehicle) starts flashing. It’s stuck with gaffer tape onto the tray of the Roneo Machine.  In seconds flat we get under the desks and wait. We wait until Mr Dobbs, the typesetter signals the “All Clear’. If it is a real terrorist attack we crawl along the floor and enter the stationery cupboard. It’s fully airtight and 100 percent SAFE.  Once inside you can’t hear anything. Because it’s got a star on the door we call it the “Star Chamber”. Bit like a cone of silence in which the echo of your words are all that’s heard. And cos it’s clausterphobic, sometimes all you get is a sense of insecurity and paranoia. Mr Wanliss the Pencil sharpener suggested that was a “paradox”. But I don’t think it’s at all like that sheila that opened the box and all the evil came out. Such stuff is superstitious NONSENSE!  Still, It’s quite exciting that we’re doing our bit to fight terrorism. And by doing our bit we’re all making a contribution to keeping our country “SAFE”!!

Sneaky Terrorist Lawyer, helping those who would confect stories about Australian spies.

That’s why it’s a good turn of the government to initiate their own Star Chamber on that lawyer who was trying to help Mister K present his case about the East Timorese. The Lawyer, (Mr Bernard Collaery) was trying to suggest that Australia was treating the poorest nation on earth, as scum to be crushed neath the jackboot of its political and economic dogmatism. He was trying to suggest that the Australian government and successive Australian governments acting on behalf of big business were trying to screw the poorest nation on earth. And wait for it, had bugged the East Timorse parliament, offices, and everything. His suggestion is that Australia, when it can get away with it doesn’t play “cricket” with our smaller neighbours. His suggestion, we would suggest besmirches the Australian government as the most decent, fair minded organisation anywhere. And run by decent blokes you can trust like Alexander Downer, who is a terrific bloke and speaks like a toffy nosed POM. What a ratbag this Mr Collaery is. To question the  integrity and the whole apparatus of the government dealing with lesser people’s is beyond question. 

This could be the mysterious Mr K.

We applaud the decision to lock-up this malcontent under terrorist laws. WE applaud the raid on his offices in the dead of night. And we applaud the charging of him and his so called Mr K with terrorist offences. And whilst they’re at it, book Henry the Horse for riding without a license. For offenses so vile that we can’t even report on it. We hope the bastard gets locked away for years. The  fact that he’s not even a whisltblower and was just doing his job is further reason to jail him. Cos he needs to fear the retribution of a government that doesn’t like to look ‘soft-cock’ on terrorism.

And he needs to know that his pursuit of truth, justice and integrity has made us UNSAFE. He put himself before the interests of descent fair minded people in government. And like the proverbial Hong Kong bookseller, his impudence must be punished. 

Hooray the Star Chamber. And strike a blow against terrorism. It has many guises, and must be ethics free to keep us SAFE!

UNITE AGAINST TERRORISM, (and ordinary folk just doing their job) to keep us SAFE!!!