It’s almost Australia Day and hundreds of us are in line for an award.
Sadly, as unpublished research by my firm Lateral Economics reveals, many will get it for little more than doing their job. And the higher the job’s status, the higher the award.
Governors General, High Court Justices and Vice Chancellors of major universities would hope for the highest Companion of the Order (AC). Professors, public service departmental heads and senior business people should hope for the next one down – an Officer of the Order (AO). School Principals would generally slot in next for Members of the Order (AM).
If you’re lucky, or you’ve done your job extraordinarily well, you’ll be promoted one rank, but that’s pretty much it.
We reward most the already rewarded (The Conversation). (Gruen)
So bloody true
Cecil and I got quite excited.
Not normally as excited as we do before Guy Fawkes night, and possibly because it was fun, and a little dangerous and the Do Gooders BANNED IT, but just about as excited as we used to get on Empire Day. 
“Empire Day” you may ask?
Well before Australia Day, Empire day was just the ticket. There’d be a bonfire. We’d build a massive one, and the kids from all around would throw on empty chairs, old tins, bits of material left over from the war, and just odd stuff found around the neighbourhood. And off it’d go “WHOOSH’!! And we’d clap and cheer and congratulate ourselves upon being part of the most CIVILISING thing EVER. A part of the British EMPIRE!. It made us proud to be SOMETHING!
Clary O’shea, wanted to bring an old oxy cylinder, and put it on top, but we all said; ‘nah, you’re not welcome cos you’re a BLOODY Catholic and we‘d rather BURN you instead”. We pissed ourselves laughing.
Cecil on Guy Fawkes Night
But still. We all got excited, and just for the fun of it Dad asked Warragul and a couple of the old natives who lived down by the creek that if they’d behave emselves they could come along and watch.
We all waited for the Bonny to start. For a bit of fun Roy Tomkinson chucked a whole 44 gallon drum of Av gas he’d had left over from servicing Wirraways when he was an aircraftsman at Point Cook. And the best part when Warragul bought up his family from the creek it was precisely the time that the AV gas was let go. Me and Cecil were behind the Anderson Shelter wearing tin helmets left over form Tobruk that Uncle Morrie had bought back. WE reckon that the special thing about Empire day it had a sort of Anzac thing to it, you know of blokes getting killed on some foreign field so that they may be a little bit more Aussie.
Cecil about to let off the rocket that Dudded Grouchy Johnson’s eye.
The bloody thing went off at precisely the split second Warragul and his mob turned up. Jeez they didn’t half run for it, their hair on fire, and everyone of us, comatose through laughter, Seriously the funniest thing you’d ever seen. They were good times.
But now something has changed. Warragul and his mob have gone crook on Australia Day. Must be something about gay marriage or the fact the Bob and Dolly Dyer aint on telly. But the truth of it is that Australia Day aint the same.
And the worst of it, Cecil has been lacing boots for the Bundanyabba Buggers for fifty years, we keep putting his nomination in and as per usual NOTHING!!
Not every one was happy about Empire Day either.
Only fuckn lawyers pollies and bureaucrats get em. Normal people are left out, Worst still we found that Warragul got one for community service, Howzat? Bastards nearly one hundred and never even worked for a living, and he reckons Australia Day is colonial bullshit or something,
That’s the problem with it, they’re so bloody ungrateful. For being Civilised.
And the bastards who get em EXPECT IT.
Still, I’ll put in Cecils nomination next year. He might win.
All in good fun!!!
Cos you know as they say in the classics, You’ve gotta be in it to win.