Unveiling the MDFI. P.M, presents new era school crossing and childcare worker uniforms.

Congratulations must be given to the Turnbull Government. Faced with the compelling problem of trying to get Peter Dutton a better paid job and thus ensuring the safety of his tenuous hold on power, the PM has announced plans for a new Super Ministry. The Ministry of Deep Fear and Insecurity. (MDFI). Modelled on the Home Office, the Ministry will have far reaching powers. “It’s reach limitless”, and as described by Dutton: “will make the Gestapo, the Stasi, the CIA and KGB look like rank amateurs’.

P.M indicates new high velocity laser guided particle gun to be used against jay walkers and fare evaders.

’This goes to the heart of contemporary Australia. To militiarise all branches of the public service, and ensure that Lord Murdoch has limitless control. Even, (with emphasis) on those people who don’t watch television. To ensure, in the log run, that FEAR is the one true value that all Australians enshrine as a national psychology’.

MDFI Ministers’ new Uniform. “very nice”.

On hand to congratulate the PM was the head of the Stronger Futures task-force, Mr Mal Brough, who assisted by the ABC’s Tony Jones proclaimed the inauguration of the DFI as a ‘red letter day’ for all Australians. ‘This is a blue skies moment in the reconfiguration of the body politic. No more vision, no more optimism, just the purest essence of pure fear.
After the intervention, all the indices are up, we’ve got booming incarceration, booming income dependence, and booming fear. Got to the stage ‘they’re’ not game to step outside, lest the long arm of PROTECTION (for their own safety) hauls em in. It’s great for security and great for shareholders. Incidentally, (Holding up the new Ministry of Fear super-portfolio uniforms), just look at these little beauties, they’re cool eh’?

Indeed we at pcbycp could only agree. The uniforms are very stylish indeed. Made from finest Australian Merino, the badges, are actually made here in Australia. But for efficiencies, the rest of the gear, helmets, boots, sub machine guns, flak jackets, tasers, handcuffs, personal immobilising gear and night vision goggles are made in Bangladesh and China. Proving the greater efficiencies inherent in the free trade deal, (effusive nod to a beaming Andrew Robb). And it’s good news for Australians, and great news for business.

MDFI Advert in foreign language newspaper. Urging people with ‘foreign sounding names’ to join the MDFI and be more Australian.

Not to be outdone, Christopher Pyne was there to proclaim this super Ministry the best thing ever for the unemployed, the disenfranchised, and the drug addled. ‘There’ll be careers in the new super Ministry. As camp commandants, perimeter electric fence maintenance technicians, and logistics experts. Because to make this successful, we’ll need efficiencies. Efficiencies of transport, infrastructure and communication to ensure that wherever they be, they’ll be tracked down and interred, processed and liquidated.

And only then can we proclaim Australia free from the taint of terrorism and ‘un-Australianism’. And like our poor wretched benighted, doomed first Australians, this process of identification and fear is unending. It’s a new ‘white mans burden’, and some of the recently arrived will be proud to wear our uniform and be like us. Rest assured, the on-going process of diminishing, reducing and deleting the soul of an Australian people is a burden we must all carry.

It’s a vision. A long term vision and an enshrining principle. As proclaimed in the book of Murdoch, To render fear unto all, and thus cowered, to do thy bidding’.

MDFI Autobots. So real you can’t tell em from real humans.

Amen. (a chaplain was on hand to bless the new super-ministry. )