AFL promotion of the ” Commissar” range of affordable Sino-Georgian Housing at Shangai Trade Fair. Courtesy Property Council of Australia.

Exciting news from the Aussie housing industry. In Shanghai the other day a magnificent display of aussie sportsmanship was put on display to promote the new ‘Commissar’ range of villas. In a special unveiling held at the National People’s Army shooting range the AFL Chief Executive Gillon Mclachlan was there to cut the ribbon.

“This is a red letter day for aussie sport and the Australian housing industry. And I’ve gotta tell you this fusion of Aussie Rules is just what the Communist party needs to turn its party members to nation building. For years we Australians have been on the bottom of the ladder as far as investment into R & D and technology. Since Joe Hockey killed off the car industry we’ve been going down down down.. Now with the “Commissar”, we can offer a whole new range of super executive villas right across Australia at knock down prices.

Corporate execs display mascot’s of two endangered species to rally support for Australian banks who are being asked by the Federal Goverment to contribute a further .065 of profits back to the public. ‘Un-Australian’

These villas are the very latest in Sino-Georgian Splendour. And there’s bad news for current owners of Sino Georgian mansions in Balwyn and Nth Balwyn. The “Nero”, the “Caligula”, and the innovative “Kleptocrat’ will soon be obsolete. They only take up 95% of the block. That’s just wasting under-utilised space. With the ‘Commissar’, the entire block and three levels of vacant air are completely filled to ensure comfort, security and plenty of work for the staff. And that’s just for starters, the features, are how shall I put it, even more “ featuristic”.

You’ve got a Palladian frontage, marble staircase and the very finest chandeliers, some of it imported from actual France. Inside it’s a butlers kitchen, fourteen bathrooms, luxury bedroom suites and a whole floor devoted to just one television. For too long party cadres have lived in humble abodes. It’s been for them an over long-march. This will not do. It’s put a huge burden on the Chinese people. Now that burden is lifted. And for malcontents, the facade is a perfect backdrop for any shooting party. For those occasional times when troublemakers get in the way of progress. I’m sure we could something like this for coal mine protestors and environmentalists in Australia, (Huge Laughter).

AFL Execs proudly display 4 million invested to provide a near empty stadium in a country of 1.4 billion people.

We’re delighted that Port Adelaide and the Gold Coast Suns could fly all the way to promote this flagship housing model, and rest assured each player will be given a replica brick from the Great Wall to demonstrate our commitment to providing incentive for highly skilled workers to jump on board the flagship of Australian Industry; Real Estate’.

Scene of overjoyed party members celebrating Port Adelaide’s historic win.

On hand the director of party propaganda and the secret police, praised the initiative, “Though no one here knows, understands or is even interested in the game, it’s exciting to see platinum class party members receiving free food and drink courtesy of the Australian Government. We’re very happy with the sound system which does a very good job with the synthetic crowd sounds. The cheering and chanting were very similar to those we employ at party meetings, and preferred party investor portfolio meetings with the down trodden minorities of Australia.

We are very glad with this initiative and trust that similar displays by the Australian cricket team will be a resounding success. It proves the reliability of the Australian housing market as a pillar of our two economies. To protect our market from non-party interlopers, the ordinary non-party people of Australia, and those not directly connected to the housing industry. And those persecuted minorities in Australia who must be freed’.

We asked the secret police chief who those minorities were, and suggested, indigenous australians, refugees, the mentally ill?

‘No’. He said. “Bankers”.