In another breathtaking departure from tradition. The “Other Australian of the Year” individual has been nominated.

Previous ” Other Australian of the Year”, Mr. Mathew Guy for ” Services to Real Estate”

In a recent statement the P.M for innovation the Rt. Hon. Mr Malcolm Turnbull announced his plan to recognise the ‘ordinary Australian’. A spokesperson for the P.M, defined this innovative turnaround in a brief sentence, when questioned by reporters outside the lodge; ‘The P.M gets the fundamentals” Asked where the P.M for Innovation was, he replied; ‘in keeping with the spirit of Australia, he’s moving house”.

” Other Australian of the Year ” Award winner 2011, Jacquie Lambie, representing the eternal flame of Anzac, Women and Dressing up for Australia, and being paid to be exceedingly heroic and noble in the event of war with another impoverished Middle Eastern failed state.

Asked for clarification he paraphrased the P.M’s important position. ‘Most average Australians don’t get the significance of the honours list, for them they’re never going to be in the first eleven, will never have the annointment of a ‘captains pick’, and will not grace the front pages of those popular magazines still in print. Some believe that the honours system is all about the status quo rewarding the status quo. This indicates a deep cynicism within the Australian Body politic. And for the vast majority, those with foreign-sounding names and aboriginal australians, the Australian of the year award is more or less meaningless. Almost, and I hazard to use this term; ‘Tokenistic”. We need to breathe new life into this award and recognise they whom we do not see also serve. And this, (with emphasis) includes those amongst us who are WOMEN!* Indeed the P.M wants to put a new light in Australia Day Awards, and desperately seeks to invigorate the principle of Australian of the Year with nominations sought from those who don’t receive the due recognition, for the things they do on a daily basis to reinforce and nurture the Australian way of life.

Stating that recognition was double edged, the P.M sought to clarify his position; ‘None of us get true recognition were it’s due, and most of us just accept the burden of being a citizen without any consideration of how they, (the unrepresented the unwashed) contribute to the main driver of this economy, Real Estate’.

Standing at the podium of the REIV, the P.M, beamed; ‘For years we’ve talked about tax reform, the clever country and innovation, when we have it here right amongst us. I’m proud to say that we now rank with Hong Kong as the least affordable place in the WORLD. Also, and this should not be forgotten, we have closed our borders to POOR PEOPLE, and will soon take the mantle as the least educated, innovative and forward thinking country in the OECD. Our private debt is astronomical, and as a consequence, we truly understand ourselves as remote, insular, dis-connected, and yet maintain a Simulated, Mental Unitary Grouping, (SMUG) happiness co- efficient that is on top of the list.

Winner of the ” Other Australian of the Year Award”, Mr and Mrs Wes Dullard. Mrs, Shirley Dullard, holding her award for the cameras.

‘The Dullard House. Purchased in 1952 for two hundred guineas, three pence halfpenny and a farthing as a war service loan, and now worth over three million dollars’, Other Australian of the Year Award Citation.

As a consequence it is my great privelege to announce this years winner. From the vast pile of quiet achievers, non-achievers, and non-persons it is my great pleasure to nominate Mr and Mrs Wes Dullard from Glenroy. Since buying their war service weatherboard in 1952, they have seen the price of their land increase by several thousand percent. I put it to you, without doing a thing to upgrade, renovate, or augment their small holding, not even, installing a granny flat, they have accumulated vast wealth. This is the spirit of Australia at work. It demonstrates once and for all, by not taking foolish risks and developing new ideas, you can be an absolute front- runner. Also their children, have made significant contributions by buying real estate in the new suburbs beyond the urban fringe.

They encapsulate the spirit of the Pioneer, in converting under-utilised, unproductive land into real estate. It’s the cautious “can-do” spirit of doing nothing that has catapulted Australia into the lead. It’s recognition due of our strengths. We have space, and ready access to real estate. We’ve seen what our athletes can do, and what the manufacturing industry failed to do. It’s also a reminder to our health and education sectors what can be done if they consistently fail to perform, as real estate they are bankable, dependable and represent the true future of this mighty nation. It’s in recognition of the fundamentals; “Real Estate”.

• We wish to remind the reader of the great steps being taken in acheiving gender equality in Australia. An entire one third of Order of Australia recipients are female, and the Order of Australia Council comprises fourteen men and  three real women.

Tomorrow, another exclusive; Indigenous Australia and Australia Day.