Corey, In the act of concentrating on family values whilst visiting Mansfield Public Toilets
Dear reader, following on the successful enterprise of the leader of the Australian Conservatives Party, the Rt Honorable Corey Bernardii M.P, to inject an unparrelleled flourish of funds into a primary school fundraiser, we raise the bar, to divert your attention to matters literal. And we’re talking words, not the stuff you find on the beach. And we might add, there’s nothing literal about the fulminations erupting from that firebrand of the coal furnace, Tony Abbott.
Saint Tone of the Santamaria is fuming that King Coal may be getting the boot. Instead, facing attack from reason, fair mindedness and the objectivity of science on all matters logical he’s done what any pugilist would do. In with the windmill, (though it be coal powered). To ensure that the objectionable froth from the renewable sector is quashed once an for all.
Death will smote all who eschew coal.
Progress without Coal is unthinkable.
Corey and Josh, working to make a primary school fundraiser special as a national event.
Only coal can deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, of lord Rupert the Almighty etc, etc,etc..
We at pcbycp, have had enough, and despair for the days of good governance. It makes us Pyne for them olden days. When politicans worried about their electorate rather than the sinecure they are destined to get upon leaving parliament.
But, (‘we hear you say’) all is not lost. Our correspondent for the near north brings us this startling fragment of observation. We daresay a fragment made acute by the turmoil within our body politic.
Corey pretending to read. The book is clearly upside down.
He writes:
On the subject of the written word saying something other than what was intended, I was, as is my wont, hanging about the public lavatories in Mansfield, outside of which is a public notice board. I turned to remark on one of these notices to the other bystanders who, in the rudest fashion, adjusted their dark glasses, hitched up their coat collars and slunk swiftly away. How rude! I thought, adjusting my own collar and specs and bravely holding my ground.
Editor error. This is the Sheffield Pubic Toilets. Not the Mansfield Public Toilets. These toilets were once powered 100 percent by coal. Now closed by the insatiable ideology of renewables.
Having recovered from this shameful example of unforgivable bad manners, we were invited by this same notice to add a card to the ‘Christmas Tree of Remembrance’ in the local library.
Here’s what it required of us;
WE INVITE YOU TO WRITE A MESSAGE TO A FAMILY MEMBER, FRIEND OR PET WHO HAS DIED ON A CARD OF YOUR CHOICE.
PLEASE HANG YOUR CARD ON THE TREE IN THE LIBRARY.
How on earth do you persuade people or pets to die on a card of your choice? There must be a real skill to it and no mistake.
Unless of course your whole intention is to bump off a few of your more tedious relations, in which case you have the perfect opportunity to place a well aimed card beneath Uncle Charlie before the boring old fart hits the lino…hmmm…
I have been clearing out all sorts of junk which has accumulated in my drawers (sic) and came across the above tale. If I’m doubling up, if i’ve already told this story. I apologise.
And, credit to Corey, raising in excess of 140 k when they only wanted 900.
And then from out correspondent of the Rum Corps comes this;
A classic – apparently true – is:
“This research project will include a survey of participants broken down by age and sex…”
You didn’t mention whether you managed to submit your completed form by the due date.
(And how come “the ravages of the demon drink” didn’t merit its own category?)
The Mansfield Toilet block is powered entirely by Coal. A victory for non ideological energy.
Sir Emo of Atney.
Which just goes to show, there’s coal in both humanity and public toilets. Which demonstrates that Saint Tone can’t be all wrong, or right.
You’ll have to work that one out yourself. Litorally.