Ruler of the Free World talks Turkey.

Dear reader, you must admit its getting harder and harder to satirise the level of moronocism, (is there such a word?) in the Australian body politic. We’ve had to sack out humourists, our script writers and even our class-clown just to keep pace with the idiocy. And lastly after the Malcolm Roberts citizenship saga, we had to sack the editor in chief. We now just rely on our typist, Mr Crudgemore (OBE), and our girl Friday, mistress Letisia, to keep us on track. But, after Trump’s outburst at the United Nations, we had to let them go as well.

A Turkey

We might as well say, (as they do in the classics), “were finished”. This folks is our General Gordon moment. Our Scott of the Antarctica moment. Or more fittingly our Billy Snedden moment. We cannot go on.

In the interests of keeping our satirical bent alive, and due to the unforseen financial constraints we suffer as a consequence of us, (with the Guardian) being exluded by the 66 million “give the rest to Rupert legislation”, we’re just going to put the news in as we read it and hope you get a laugh. It’s sort of cheating really, but hey!! So is pretending to employ journalists.

This gem comes to us for the ABC, we reprint it in Full. (no pun intended)

Another Turkey

Former prime minister Tony Abbott has said he was attacked by a same-sex marriage campaigner in Hobart, who he said headbutted him after asking to shake his hand.

Cock Fight

Mr Abbott, who has been campaigning for the no vote in the same-sex marriage postal survey, was in Tasmania to attend a Young Liberal cocktail party this evening when the alleged incident occurred, the ABC understands.
He told Macquarie Radio he was headbutted by a campaigner wearing a Vote Yes badge after the man approached him, he thought to shake hands.
He said his injuries were minor, and that he had a “very slightly swollen lip”.
Mr Abbott said he was walking from the Mercury newspaper offices towards his hotel in the Docks area when he heard a man yell out, “Hey, Tony!”
“I turned around, there was a chap wearing a Vote Yes badge, he says ‘I wanna shake your hand’, I went over to shake his hand and then he headbutted me,” he said on radio.
“He wasn’t very good at it, I’ve got to say, but he did make contact. The only damage was a very, very slightly swollen lip.

“I was with a member of my staff, [who] briefly grappled with this guy and then he ran off swearing his head off, basically.

The prominent opponent of same-sex marriage said it was “a reminder of how ugly this debate is getting”.
“And the ugliness is not coming from the defenders of marriage as it’s always been understood — the ugliness, the intolerance and indeed in this instance, the hint of violence, is coming from those who tell us in the name of decency and fairmindedness and freedom, we’ve got to allow same-sex marriage,” he said.
“The love is love brigade aren’t showing a lot of love.”
Mr Abbott said the attacker told him “you deserve it” as he was running away.
“I think it was pretty clear that this is was, to use the phrase, ‘politically motivated violence’,” Mr Abbott said.
“If the actual debate about same-sex marriage is producing this kind of intolerance and bullying, how much worse would it get if the brave new world of same-sex marriage actually came to be?”

Chicken Little meets Foghorn Leghorn

Please help us defend Tony. He is threatened. And he and coal alone can save Australians from thinking for ourselves

“the ugliness, the intolerance and indeed in this instance, the hint of violence, is coming from those who tell us in the name of decency and fairmindedness and freedom, we’ve got to allow same-sex marriage”.

Anyone for tennis?