Malcolm Roberts. Deriding “fake Science”
We wish to apologise for the tendency to exaggerate. Indeed in this era of ‘fake news’, there is an unquestionable tendency for hyperbolic exaggeration. And sadly, with the iminent demise of Malcolm Roberts, the fiery climate denier antagonist, we’re worried we wont have anyone left to do the heavy lifting on climate change denial. We are encouraged though that Matt Canavan may escape the consequences of his mummy’s misadventure, and plead, “I didn’t know” as proposed by the Attorney General George Brandis. The way George sees it, Matt, Barnaby, and even Larissa should be excused cos they didn’t know they were non- Australians.
God, who created life, so that Queenslanders could believe in COAL
Coal, Un- elected and about to address the floor of Parliament.
Whereas, Malcolm clearly did know, and even though he sent furious emails to a site that never existed, (but it clearly and palpably existed in his mind) and pretended he didn’t know his dad was a pom and he was born in India, it was all a bit climate change. Malcolm has a way with facts. And if you disagree with him, he’ll tell you that the science is wrong, and suggest the reason why it’s wrong is because of a huge cover-up. A conspiracy to divert the tapayers finds away from rent seeking corporations into worthwhile emergent industries, like renewables. Malcolm is inistent on this, that fake science is ruining Australia. And like Larry Marshall CEO of the greatly depleted CSIRO, they are in lock step agreement. Anyone who disagrees with their view of things should go. The last thing they want is impartial scientific research. That’s why they’ve set up their own institute within the institute, the Carboniferous Oils and Lignite Institute, (COAL).
That’s why Malcolm, and Matt, and Barnaby all agree that the best thing the taxpayers can do is to fund the worlds biggest coal fired power station in, (you guessed it) Queensland. Queensland is good for people like Matt and Malcolm and Barnaby. For a start most Queenslanders eschew climate science for bibilical science. It’s way easier to understand. The earth is six thousand years old. Because god, a bearded, irascible old man, says so.
Liddell Power Station is to be closed. But the good news is the Federal Government wants to buiild the worlds biggest in Queensland.
That’s the kinda science we like. A big power station will be funded one hundred percent by the taxpayers. No energy company will go near it, cos they say coal is so yesterday. But to the Minerals Council and other shareholders linked to coal thing it’s a fabulous idea. And for a short time, it may even employ some people. That’s a bonus. But most emphatically, beyond the few jobs and bonuses it will tell the world, that Queenslanders Don’t believe in climate change.
And that’s reassuring.
Because just the other day parts of Queensland hit 45 degrees in September. What was that? Forty five degrees in September? Yes indeed, the hottest September EVER. Still, Malcolm, Barbany and George, Larry, et al question the science of weather records. ‘Close the Bureau of Meterology’ they say. And whilst we’re at it, ‘close down the ABC’.
God also invented Cricket.
Close down anyone who says that the planet is hotting up, and we’re all stuffed. We don’t want to hear that sort of news, it’s depressing, and effects the bottom line for shareholders.
And good news is what the public wants. And what do the public want now. Gay marriage? Cheaper energy? Equitable taxes? A clean environment? Access to good education?
Nup, none of the above.
The public wants a competitive Grand Final.
And, If Richmond doesn’t win, we’re all stuffed.
God, as a younger man, played for Richmond.
It’s un-deniable.