Pelaco Bill is Back!! At last some certainty and a WORLD CLASS nuclear waste facility big enough to ensure that even the whitest of whites will come out BRILLIANT in any wash!!

Dear reader, you’re probably still inconsolable after Australia’s inaugural ‘Freedom Commissioner’ left office to pursue the less lucrative, (party donations and first class helicopter flights excluded) field of federal politics. What you do need to know is that in the position of Freedom Commissioner Tim Wilson made a really big difference to freedom’s right across the board. The statistics speak for themselves. In the past two years aboriginal imprisonment has continued to rise, proving freedom of access. On Manus Island and Nauru, people have enjoyed the freedom to luxuriate in Concentration Camps. As the old saying goes, ‘Arbeit macht Frei’, ‘Freedom through work” and who said the Germans lacked a sense of humour?

The outgoing Freedom Commissioner,Mr. Tim Wilson, proving his ascendancy over the ossified Human Rights Commission.  Proudly displays model of new correctional facility in the N.T.

But Mr Wilson did much more than help the lot of the disenfranchised, the bereft, and the impoverished. His position was onerous, and there’s been such a cascade of freedoms since they passed the latest batch of anti terrorist and metadata laws, that you feel sorry for him being paid a mere 400 thousand. And he got the job, cos undoubtedly, Geoffrey Robertson, Julian Burnside, and Jillian Triggs, were clearly inexperienced in freedom matters, and the law. Quite rightfully, he received a most stirring accolade prior to his impending preselection from that exemplar of justice and freedom, the federal attorney general, George Brandis. Don’t think for a minute that just because Mr Robb has vacated his seat that  Mr Wilson’s lightening speed bid pre selection has anything to do with not wanting to advance the cause of freedom into the floor of our federal parliament itself.

Of course it does.

Our parliamentary system is in dire need of reform. All those donations from very wealthy lobby groups is getting up the nose of the electorate who think that the democratic process is hijacked by wealthy vested interests, (the 1%).

Mr Wilson, do as you have done in the past two years and ensure that absolutely nothing changes. As Janice said, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose’. You aint got nothing to loose. You’ve kept the office of Commissioner for Freedom completely A-political, without the hint of partisanship. And you know well that this innovation Prime Minister is looking at the big picture, and he’s a big thinker. Demonstrate your informed urbane dialogue, passion for the underdog, and ongoing commitment to fight for freedom. You’ve proved a capacity to re-orientate that ossified, and outmoded Commission for Human Rights. You are the Personification of Freedom itself. You, are the standard bearer of Freedoms, You’re Julian Assange on steroids. You, Mr Wilson, are a game changer!!

Rebadged. NUCLEAR WASTE IS AN AMAZING THING!! Courtesy Institute of Minerals and Energy.

Outstanding prototype Freedom Commission Uniforms to be worn by staff being demonstrated outide the Vatican. In apprecciation of the outstanding assistance and transparency offered by Cardinal Pell to victims post, the Child Abuse Royal Commission. (Uniforms generously donated by the Minister for Innovation, The Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne. (From his personal collection).

And speaking of the big picture, it’s well known that although we bypassed, (by a very narrow squeak indeed) being the suppository of wisdom, ‘as the Cardinal said to the choirboy’. We can stand proud to know that we have delegated it upon ourselves to be the depository of Nuclear waste the world over. It was touching when we begged the British government (our glorious ally) to use our hinterland to test atom bombs in the fifties, and though a few malcontent natives were unimpressed, (we didn’t bother telling them) we now can safely say that the hinterland of south Australia has been chosen once again. Lucky the folk of South Australia. Which proves there is life beyond manufacturing. Better still, we know our Freedom Commissioner, wont stop the wheels of progress by asking the natives.  It’s a well established fact that the indigenous are still free to walk about wherever they like, Willy Nilly. And they’ll be especially grateful for the fact that any kangaroos caught post waste dump, will glow in the dark, thus making their subsistence easier.

So it’s onwards and upwards, and celebrating the very established fact that we lead the world in Freedom, and with a KING SIZE Nuclear waste facility in the outback, we lead the World in INNOVATION and CLEVER THINKING. Because for the first time, we are not digging stuff up. With the help of our friends in the Minerals and Energy Council were putting stuff in.

It’s good for Australia.

Great for the Artesian Basin.

And one hundred percent SUSTAINABLE.

To ensure with the assistance of the ‘World’s best Minister,’ Mr. Greg Hunt that this little part of Strayla is FREE from unsightly residential development for One billion Trillion Years.

More news from the Innovation Minister, and commentary from the Minister for the Environment, the ‘Worlds Best Minister’, The Rt Hon, Member for Finders Greg Hunt. M.P

Sporting Legend Pharlap. Undoubtedly if Pharlap had been around in our modern era, he would’ve been awarded World’s Best Horse. Though the UAE, and Emirates have a nuanced view of human rights and ecology, they adore Horseflesh.

Dear reader, seldom in recent times have we had good reason to be optimistic about the science of innovation in this country. And in these dynamic changing times there’s been little to celebrate about the trajectory of science in schools, tertiary institutions and what laughably passes for industry. Since the Minister for Innovation, the Rt Hon Christopher Pyne announced significant cuts to the climate and weather research components in our premier national research facility CSIRO, there’s been a spontaneous reaction, and an outpouring of grief not seen since the death of Pharlap.

CEO of CSIRO Mr Larry Marshall. Demonstrating excellent taste in shirts, and the value of Real Estate for CSIRO holdings in Sydney and Hobart. Most likely runner up in “World’s best Climate Research Science Luddite’ in near unanimous vote by UAE, Vladimir Putin and the IPA.

In an open letter, some 3500 of the worlds climate scientists have urged the government to reconsider its decision. But the Minister and his brave lieutenant Larry Marshall, have replied; ‘We don’t want any of you soft-cock lefties turning us from the proven path to innovation and scientific excellence’. And they’re quite right. How can we excel without manufacturing? How can we even begin to think creatively when the only industry we have left is resource depletion, prisons, and real estate?

There is an answer. In this exclusive the Minister announces the cuts and enthusiastically points to a future where all the research and process within the CSIRO will be managed, and outsourced by private enterprise. Namely, those forward thinking corporations, represented by the Minerals and Energy Council who have ‘made a significant contribution to Australia’s outstanding record in prosperity and employment’.

From Coal to Real Estate. Australian Industry proving that they are ‘Truly Amazing’!

Making Climate Science Fun!!

The following is a excerpt from the Ministers speech. “Dear ladies and gentlemen, individual and respected members. It gives me great pleasure to announce innovation beyond the first of three hundred cuts to the CSIRO’s climate, science and oceanic division. I can promise you a general plethora of cuts to come. Once again we’re proving that when it comes to lifting, we at the federal government are ahead of the pack. Some may say this represents a diminution, or has been quoted; ‘the annihilation of our climate science capability’, but I say such talk is alarmist and misses the point. The climate science is irrefutable, the climate is changing, we recognise the antipathy of the conservative, retrograde Abbott government to climate, and science in general. But the Turnbull government is one hundred percent committed to innovation. However, keeping the climate science division in fact, unchanged, ‘business as usual’ is Non innovative!!. We need to demonstrate our innovation capability and maintain our position as number one.

As you’ve seen from the excellently produced and manifestly expensive advertisements on television we’re really serious about having well groomed people, and even ‘new australians’ getting on board about this innovation stuff. The photography is magnificent and it’s got smart computer graphics in colour. And in recognition of this, we are transferring the entire climate division lock stock and smoking barrel, into a proven performer. That’s right, the CSIRO also has to do its share of heavy lifting, and thats why we have re-badged the climate science division, ‘the Institute for Research and Better Outcomes’ into REAL ESTATE. By transferring these jobs into real estate we can at last say that the CSIRO is truly accountable. They have significant holdings, and I’ve been reminded by my friends at the Department of Urban and Regional Planning that the CSIRO, in the Antarctic Division alone, possess, considerable acreage of PRIME waterfront frontage in Hobart, and Sydney. This, converted to real estate, will generate substantial earnings for the new division of Earth Sciences, which I am proud to say, will be run by the Minerals and Energy Council.

Greg Hunt. Arguably also the ‘World’s Best Environment Minister’. Voted protoplasmanoids star system 12 B, Sector Seven. Nebula 24/K345.

We cannot change the climate, we recognise our contribution to overall greenhouse gas emission though large by capita is infinitesimally small in global terms. That’s why we must be responsible, accountable and far reaching. Our’s is not to reason why, but to fuel the great driver of this economy, and ensure that innovation, demonstrated in the substantial growth of housing estates on the urban fringes is given free rein to employ thousands. To support the subsidiary growth industries of shopping at Bunnings, banking and prisons. In a nutshell, the CSIRO, will be re-badged to The Commercial Services Infrastructure Research Offices, (CSIRO) Australasia Limited. And research? Well we’ve got research a plenty. Only the other day the former Victorian state minister for Infrastructure Mr Mathew Guy rezoned Fishermen’s’ Bend overnight. His mates made an absolute killing. What better research is there than that! It’s a proven winner.

And it gives me great pleasure to introduce from that paragon of democratic thought, the Arab Emirates the nominated ‘World Best Minister’ Mr Greg Hunt’. (thunderous applause) . ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, and our friends from the Minerals and Energy Council let me say just one thing; ‘Our National Parks are Open for Business’. Let’s show to the world just what we think about the uncertain science of climate change. The critics, lefties and environmentalists say we don’t appreciate global ecology, but what they fail to recognise is that the environment is real estate. And real estate is; ‘something you can bank on for the FUTURE”!

At last a laureate for Children’s literature in Victoria. And it’s none other than our hero of the imperfect line, Mr Leigh Hobbs. And believe me, to get the imperfect line as a direct connection between the subconscious, the hand, and the humour impulse, requires consumate skill, discipline, and practice. It aint easy drawing for children with a child’s eye. What a victory for fun and laughter. We, (the anchored and intensely serious editorial team at PCbyCP) are truly delighted!

Leigh is the bloke in the frame. All the others are not REAL people.

And who wouldn’t be delighted, it’s emblematic of two things, a taste for literature, and the fact that children are still allowed within the metrics of NAPLAN and ATAR some room for laughter. It also, may say something about Victoria. That those who run our really august institutions, our public galleries and libraries, are still engaged with life and laughter. It suggests that there is still room for stories that are unburdened by the weight of instructional moral certainty and prescriptive “correctitude”. (Whatever that means).   This is all terribly bad news for the unreadable, and un-funny, whom we are led to believe comprise most of the judging panels in other children’s book awards..

Mr George Christensen Qld Nationals. Proof perfect that our new breed of “Innovative Progressive Conservatives” are exceedingly well read and are representative of a broad, (massive in fact) church.

We congratulate the State Library of Victoria and it’s board, whom we believe are very astute in these matters. And let’s not forget the broader constituency of thinking, reading, laughing victorians who quite rightfully find more sense in Ol Tom, Horrible Harriet and Mr Chicken than anything that occurs within, outside or on the outer limits of contemporary  political dialogue.

And you guessed it, all this happened because laughter, like   great ideas in print are axiomatic with INNOVATION. Sadly, as a consequence, there’s  a somewhat misguided attempt by the other states  to establish  a CLL.

The very exciting CCL, ( Children’s Literature Laureate) Medal. To be worn by Leigh at all times during his period of laureatedom. The inscription is French (high literature) and translated reads; ” For Merriment”. The crown represents ‘Fun”, as distinct from most other awards.

Not to be outdone, Queensland is pursuing its very own Children’s Literature Laureate, and we’re informed by unsubstantiated rumour deep within the near north that the forthright Nationals member for Dawson, Mr George Christensen, is recommending the recently reprinted ‘Mein Kampf’. Curiously, it is also rumoured that the Tasmanian Minister, Mr Eric Abetz also put ‘Mein Kampf’ on the top of his list. We have suggested tactfully that in spite of the popularity of this book in previous print runs, that the author is “Austrian” and not ‘Australian’. And though a simple and inadvertent mistake, rendered the tome ineligible for selection.  We feel obliged to remind both excellent “right thinking” parliamentarians, that their choice, though colourful and fantastic in the genre of the very popular “Game of Thrones”, was not entirely suitable for children as there seemed no evidence of a happy ending.

From South Australia, comes the recommendation from those closest to the Minister for Innovation ‘Scouting for Boys’,  which; ‘extols camp-life, and dressing up, with an eye to civic duty’. We felt this also lacked a consistent narrative and happy ending.

And from the Northern Territory there’s an interest in a reprinted and abridged ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’, in which Tom, an idealistic and enthusiastic aboriginal adolescent seeks freedom from the yoke of ‘Stronger Futures’ In his search for ‘truth’ he is imprisoned, imprisoned, and imprisoned again. The book culminates in his emergence from the prison system in his eighties ‘educated and civilised”. Though instructional, we felt it lacked a clearly positive educational message. And from Canberra, ‘Kafka’s guide to Parenting’, which purported to be a mix of drama, reality and fiction.

So it’s tributes a plenty and join with us all in a heartfelt congratulations to our dear friend and patron Leigh in his elevation to laureate-hood. Asked if the weight of laureate-dom, would turn his craft pompous, sour and serious, as happened to the english poet laureates, the author replied, “Not likely”. And that’s another reason to be cheerful.

.

Due to attractions of the flesh there is no Poem for this Sunday.  There is no apology either.

Dependant on the outcome of these attractions there may be a poem forthcoming next Sunday.

Best wishes
pcbycp.

Originally dispatched 26 December 2013

Dobre dzien Tovarich,

Before you switch off, it isn’t the Budget Deficit that is being discussed ad nauseam that I want to try and hold your attention with.

A.N.U.’s Sally Dixon started her recent article : EDUCATIONAL FAILURE OR SUCCESS: ABORIGINAL CHILDREN’S NON-STANDARD ENGLISH UTTERANCES as follows:

“Within the Australian education system, Aboriginal students’ use of non-standard English features is often viewed simplistically as evidence of non-attainment of literacy and oral-English milestones. One reason for this is the widespread use of assessment tools which fail to differentiate between native-English speakers and students who are learning English as a second language. In these assessments, non-standard English features are framed as ‘mistakes’ and low scores taken as evidence of ‘poor’ performance.”

It is the ‘Deficit Model’ that drives opinion and policy in relation to all matters ‘Indigenous’ in Australia that I’ll attempt to throw some light on.

Long as I can see the light….  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVN8VT53Ebs

Firstly mea culpa. From time to time Devil’s Advocate Dispatchees pull me up and point out that I myself invariably apply the Deficit Model to ‘Agencies’ that are ‘Closing the Gap’ and thrusting remote Aboriginal Australia into ‘Stronger Futures’. I’m forever criticising often well intended efforts at dealing with ‘Aboriginal disadvantage’ or worse still (sacre bleu) taking the piss.

Of having añoranzas (yearning for things that were, or might have been and are not likely to ever be again)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFhLdM8U8Hw

The Christmas and New Year message from the Yuendumu Mediation and Justice Committee (emails and posters) included: “…. Thanks everyone for supporting our peace process!! Our next theme: Respectful Relationships. Let’s make Yuendumu a Domestic & Family Violence Free Community…” What is wrong with that? Nothing.It is a commendable effort, even if it is based on a Deficit Model.

Twenty Km from Alice Springs on the way to Yuendumu there is a ‘secret’ over the horizon radar base. When it first was built, every 30 metres along the Tanami road for several kilometres, signs popped up “Commonwealth of Australia, Restricted Area, Do Not Enter, Trespassers will be prosecuted”. Only one problem, they must have watched too many spy movies, they used invisible ink. After a short period the signs faded into white boards with no visible writing. They had to do them all again.

Remember the Yuendumu grog cars?  Shortly after their installation in front of Yuendumu Police Station, one of the two cars disappeared. Perhaps another community got jealous and demanded a ‘grog’ car of their own? Well the lonely grog car is still there. The windscreen is covered by a dirty white sheet of paper. There is no visible writing on it.

What is meant by the Deficit Model?

Closing the Gap…. Implies there is a Gap that HAS to be closed at all costs.

Stronger Futures…. Suggests the past was weak.

The 7 early childhood development initiatives operating in Yuendumu…. Imply that children did not previously develop.

Generation One … implies all previous generations don’t count.

I will again quote Rosalie Kunoth-Monks who started a speech at Kalkaringi a few years ago with:

“There is no Aboriginal Problem in Australia, only a White-fellow  problem”….. for this she got wild applause.

As for the stigmatising and stereotyping that the incredibly resilient and diverse remote Aboriginal Australians were and continue to be subjected to, I can’t go past Lizzy G from Palm Island:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZxGkbbz1Y

As for the future, a pertinent song from the past:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy3L84rOoOc

Happy Christmas

Dosvitanya until next year

Frank

‘Closing the Gap’. A technician from the PCbyCP Institute in uniform demonstrates the utility of the report

Dear reader, there’s been a lot of loose talk about the failure of the ‘Closing the Gap ‘initiative. The noble, far sighted, innovative, and very weighty (the initial report weighs some several kilos) ‘Closing the Gap’ report has been very useful in our offices as a subsidiary chair or coffee table, when we require additional support infrastructure for high level meetings.

In spite of this Pat Dodson, has described its impact as marginal. He’s unconvinced, stating that the disparities in wealth, health and access to employment hasn’t changed much at all. He even intimated that it’s just getting worse. And he decried the lack of a meaningful treaty.

Pat Dodson.

But you know what they say about ‘lies, damn lies, and statistics’. The problem with Mr Dodson, we humbly submit, is that he’s looking at the data incorrectly.

Senior Executive salary growth and bureaucrat entitlements since the intervention,Real Growth and successful Outcomes. “Off the Scale”!

This graph put together by our research team at the PCbyCP Institute points to a counter reality, And the results are clear and OUTSTANDING. Just look at the metrics they speak for themselves!! Mortality has made minor improvements. Infant mortality is really very good. And that proves that ‘in utero’, Aboriginal and Torres Strait islanders are almost certain not to be imprisoned. And we should be thankful that better indices for mortality and access to health professionals has shown promise. This is an emerging trend, and we expect that on current projections, say another ten years, we’ll have another 5 percent increment. That’s another year of life on average. And in another two hundred and twenty years aboriginal life expectancy will be the norm, (unless we “other’ folk all live longer).

Executive and middle management salary growth in the Aboriginal  adminstrative sector, (blue line). Aboriginal mortality. (burgundy line)

Imprisonment rates since the intervention. Left hand column represents percentage of males incarcerated. Strong growth, and a positive boon for regional employment.

Just look at the outstanding indices. Male aboriginal imprisonment has skyrocketed, it’s almost off the page. Think of the employment, the police complexes and the happy (non aboriginal) nuclear families that have prospered as a consequence of ‘Closing the Gap’ and the ‘Intervention’. If we didn’t have the entire nation to assess and just concentrated on the NT and WA, the results would be even more impressive. But what surprises us is the paralleled and absolutely staggering index of Senior Executive Salaries. They’ve gone off the scale. This is just in the upper six tiers of aboriginal and aboriginal related organisational infrastructure. For Senior Executives for instance, look at this with a base salary of 150,000 per annum, (upward of $250,000 for GEM’s) and allied researchers, policy co-ordinators, outflow managers, (they deal with processing white papers) and discussion papers. There’s the on-flow to service providers, land cruisers and the entire panoply of servicing these remote communities, helicopters, provisioning, first class travel and regular attendance in states and Canberra on progress initiatives and infrastructure meetings.

These statistics prove that ‘Closing the Gap’ has delivered real progress, on every available index, and with the streets cleaned up of ‘average’ Aboriginal males, there’s substantial savings in recycling, servicing, and the unforeseen acceptance of numerous ‘Tidy Town’s awards’ and other important and critical citations.

Norm Whitebread. PCbyCP Research head, (formerly CSIRO Climate Division).

But most importantly, it has given is certainty, to the most uncertain science of the problem itself. That’s why the PCbyCP institute is dedicated to further research of this difficult and persistent problem.

We asked the Institute’s, research head, Mr Norman, (norm) Whitbread, and he concurred; ‘We’re in unknown territory, never ever in the history of aboriginal welfare have so many well meant organisations, both government and charitable worked so earnestly to help these people. We consequently have seen a stratospheric growth in employment. I’m loathe to use managerialist speak, but these are measurable outcomes, and with stronger futures we’re moving forward to close the gap and shut the door on those not equipped to help these poor wretched unfortunate people. And we’ll continue to do the heavy lifting till they, (aboriginal australians) find a voice, and demonstrate leadership within tried and tested economic principles. Until such time as they can manage themselves, we must shoulder the burden. If I may say so; It’s a ‘Whitbread Burden’. (laughter) And, it causes me some distress, that people like Dodson, who decry the initiative in the absence of “real dialogue, a treaty and substantive facts’ don’t get it. You can’t measure what he’s talking about, and when he talked about a Treaty, we just laugh. There’s a museum in Missouri, and another in Washington that’s chock a block with treaties, and they’re not worth the paper they’re written on.

PCbyCP Institute under construction at Docklands.

And do you know why the treaties failed? Well, I’ll tell you, (turns off power point presentation), its the thing that lies at the core of the matter. It’s not their abject condition, their near extinction, loss of tribal lore, dignity, land, respect, everything, but their tendencies’. “Tendencies?” we asked, ‘Well there’s standout tendencies that makes it all very difficult’. ‘And what could that be’? Well, it their lack of gratitude for all we’ve done to to help them. If only they could be more grateful, and we’d work just that bit harder. And maybe then we could well and truly “Close the Gap”

Dear reader we’ve been enlightened by a recent communication from father Gerard Rissole, (rtd) submission to PCbyCP in defence of George Pell, and his incapacity to get to the Child Abuse Royal Commission.

Indeed in hindsight, there’s been quite a bit of unfair and uncharitable innuendo cast in the direction of his holiness the most christian and noble Cardinal George Pell. We at PCbyCP would like to apologise for the tenor of the most recent submission which made fun of Mr Pell’s condition, and his proven incapacity to front the Child abuse Royal Commission.

Father Rissole and George. Father Rissole, seen here wearing his distinctive, ‘See no evil, I can keep a secret glasses’.

We think also it’s exceedingly important to respect the Cardinal’s position, in recognition of his status, (one down from being the Pope himself) and the secrecy required as a basic and indisputable fact that secrecy, (the requirement to keep the internal working of the church an absolute secret) is tantamount in upholding the spiritual worth, depth and majesty of those who serve in the elevation and preservation of the glorious and exalted kingdom of heaven and God.

God also knows, (as we have it on the most reliable authority) as a sage and far seeing very old man, that travel can be dangerous. That’s why the kingdom of heaven is anchored firmly somewhere out beyond, star system NBC 234/697 sector 7. Moving the Kingdom of Heaven, (KOH) about all the time, may irretrievably disturb the astral envelope that we, his underlings, must believe in. If the KOH moved by any other service than Hyper-drive, the fabric of our universe would be ripped. How does God stay firm in the kingdom of heaven? How does his holy host and archangels manage to enter the earthly realm to instruct the Cardinal on what not to do? Can’t tell. It’s a secret.

It’s a secret service. Service to God. Service to Heaven.

With that comes the obligation, to keep those secrets intact, and let them grow in order to consolidate the noble, holy, miraculous KOH. Without secrecy, it’d just be another religion, not the correct one we have which enshrines the Lord’s bounty and his emissaries, as good, noble christian old men. Old men generally have a handle on things, and they, (unlike women) know how to keep a secret. In the kingdom of heaven, there’s no such thing as “ Telling the truth” in heaven, it’s maintaining a glorious secret. That’s what makes it truly spiritual.

Empire Class Flying Boat. Illustration depicts forward compartment for Cardinal. Luxurious internal appointments as required as reward for “keeping secrets’ in service to the KOH. This design for transporting his eminence in comfort and luxury was scrapped before the CSIRO Climate Science division developed their Cardinal Transport device, which was also scrapped. Then the division was scrapped. The Cardinal in service to the KOH gloriously remains firm and inviolate, proof perfect that climate science is ‘crap’.

Pell has gone onto bigger and better things, and you’re probably thinking, why can’t this bloke who runs the entire finances of the Catholic Church not be able to attend a few hearings in Australia? If he’s fit enough to run an empire, (just ask Rupert) why can’t he front? The Pope can do it. Even, (God bless her) Our Majesty can do it. Get on a plane, and front. Even an Empire class flying boat could chop the trip into short sections, via Cairo, Aden, Karachi, Bombay, Singapore, Jakarta, Darwin, and the Royal Commission. Well he can’t and you know the reason why. His condition the two page document reveals is a “secret”

What of the children who were bastardised, buggerised and had their souls destroyed by evil men, who offended tine and time again? Those evil men had their crimes rewarded with sinecures in other parishes, and a rigorously enforced code of silence. They could breathe easily, because their crimes, their misdemeanors, were “secret”.

And all this is frustrating for Pell, and all his brotherhood. If he fronts he runs the risk of being asked questions from a WOMAN. And what’s even more confronting is that these these kids were buggerised whilst being educated. EDUCATED? They’ve clearly failed rule 101. They ‘couldn’t keep a secret’. It’s a big FAIL for those kids. And I’m inclined to agree with George, that it’s just beyond the pale when they’ve broken the most fundamental rule.

MOST fundamental platform in service to the Catholic Church and elevation to the KOH. Keeping a Secret.

There is no such thing as “Truth” in the kingdom of heaven. Spiritual truth is the capacity to keep a secret. That’s why Pell, can’t front. As his counsel suggested, It’s a secret. Pell aint going nowhere, and you wanna know the reason why, well i’ll tell you, but I can’t because, you know the drill, it’s a secret. And if you TELL, the whole bloody system that gets people like dear ol George to the very top, would just not work.

Pell’s Hell is Dante’s Inferno tied to the existential reality of the inner workings of the Catholic Church. Tried, tested and trusted since about the fifth century, and its a secret. Or in code, as we jesuits are fond of using in a tight squeeze, (as the Cardinal said to the choirboy) ‘SMB’. ‘Secret Mens Business’.

The Impeccably dressed Minister for Innovation the Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne. M.P, demonstrating his Clark Kent X Ray glasses, developed by the new industry orientated CSIRO) on the floor of parliament. He subsequently became aware of the truth that the few female members of the front bench had borrowed part of his lingerie collection, “without asking”!!

CSIRO Climate Science Oblivion, The secret reasons why?

Dear reader, you’ve recently been aware of the recent decision by the Federal Government, led by it’s impeccably dressed Minister for Science and Innovation, the Rt Hon Christopher, Pyne, presumedly at the behest of the ‘Prime Minister for Innovation’, the Rt Hon Malcolm Turnbull to cut, destroy, decimate the entire apparatus of climate research at the CSIRO.

And you may have heard the chief scientist Mr Larry, (Lazza to his mates) Marshall on the reasoning behind this amputation of research, and it goes like this: I paraphrase; “Look here youse guys, the jury is in, (all excepting Rupert and the front bench) we recognise that further climate research is bunk. We’ll leave the science now to schools and other institutions, and perhaps take up the initiative promised by our friends in the Minerals and Energy Council to roll out coal-fired weather stations in Milk Bars and Tram Stops. We know the climate is changing, but we need to move on and produce stuff that people need in the future, like cigarette lighters that glow in the dark, and stubby holders that are self cooling. (demonstrates prototypes to press throng). These are the things that industry needs, and wasting all this time and money on research is getting us NOWHERE!! Look where manufacturing got us? We need to be more outcomes oriented, moving forward!! And, that’s why we’re working with our friends in VLine, to perfect the first ever square wheel’.

But, dear reader, though Mr Marshall’s plans and statement are laudable, they hide a sinister reality. A reality of a programme that goes to the ‘toppest’ top of executive power. Even the P.M himself is by association implicated.

CSIRO Scientists and technicians test firing the first prototype AHSCSJDSV.

Unbeknown to the Minister and the Head Scientist, the research wing of the transportation section of the CSIRO, has diverted funds from climate science Into the Top Secret AHSCSJDSV, (The Advanced High Speed Cardinal Submarine Justice Deep Sea Delivery Vehicle). To the shock of senators, Abetz, Bernardii, and Andrews, work had proceeded to the point where they, (the scientists at the CSIRO) have actually developed a fully working prototype. As the scientists, (who are now sacked) testified; (in secret hearings) “How can you have working, environmental and earth systems research when you have such gross inequities in human capital. Unless we eliminate or bring the worst offenders to justice, we cannot reconcile disparities and hideous abuses of power within the context of maintaining healthy functioning ecosystems and and sharing equitably nature’s resources. To this end we developed the (AHSCSJDSV). If we hadn’t been uncovered by all these audits designed to destroy the climate science and thinking, we would never have been found out, and Pell, would be bought to account. Consequently all people in Australia, including the Indigenous Australians, would know that environmental, ecological and social justice must happen in union. One cannot co exist without the other’, Its axiomatic, really’.

The prototype AHSCSJDSDV undergoing sea trials at the CSIRO research facility at the Werribee Treatment Plant prior to transhipment to Venice.

Novitiates practising on correct record player speeds in testing confessional laboratory. (Location Classified).

CSIRO research technicians trialling the ‘Peephole’ observation apparatus. This external prototype suit was modified for  a ‘fully internal probing and visualisation’ apparatus..

Early prototype indicating ” fiddling levers and wheels”, discarded in favour of the simpler gramophone player mechanism. Note original prototype peephole and confessional access in centre of image.

We at PCBYCP have been leaked drawings of the (AHSCSJDSDV) and it’s remarkable how thorough the research and development had been. It’s is submarine-like, but the overall impression is of a gondola. Apparently, though too ill to travel beyond Italy, the Cardinal is frequently on visits to Bologna, Naples, Trieste, lake Como, St Moritz, Paris, Venice, Vienna, Salzburg, Prague, (when it’s nice in the spring) and the healing waters of Baden Baden and Venice. It’s a remarkable feat of engineering, the design planned to lure the Cardinal when in Venice, by playing, behind a screen within a elaborately carved canopy, a rendition of the Children’s boys choir singing ave maria, at 77.4 rpm. “We knew that the Cardinal, hearing the slightest of dissonance in the recording would be lured to the canopy, enter the airlock mechanism, (nicknamed ‘the confessional’) and tinker with the control mechanism of the record player. Like all his ilk when hearing young boys, he cannot resist the temptation to fiddle with the controls, and his fiddling obsession would lure him thus. Then once the airlock doors closed, he would naturally see the periscope installed in the aft compartment, we call this ‘the Peep hole’, and irresistibly, as habit is strong in this type, he would put his eye to the peep hole and see with indescribable pleasure a hologram worked up by our cybernetics department of himself at the gates of heaven. Promised by the obligation to keep his eyes shut until further instructed by GOD. This process referred to our research scientists as “turning the blind eye” would render the Cardinal in a sustained meditative state, until such time as Australia was reached. Then this audio of harps would play, and the recording of the boys choir amplified at the correct speed, 78 rpm. Thinking and encouraged to look at the peep hole the Cardinal would press the “reward for sustained obedience and secrecy in services to God’ lever, and be jettisoned, by ejector seat, (‘the ejaculating novitiate’) into this parabolic arc, and via ‘gravitron impulse’ into the front row of the Royal Commission. It was timed to perfection.

We’d chosen Australia Day as being significant for some, and thought we would be able to reconcile Australians to this nasty fragment of their past. But now sadly tis all undone. We’re reconciled to a research-less CSIRO as punishment. The government will blame climate science, and the PM for Innovation will get his wish’. And what’s that we asked?, a Sainthood? “No the nucleus of a new submarine fleet, and a runabout to use on state occasions in Sydney Harbour for state occasions of great significance. You know Royal Tours and visiting cricket teams’. And what is this ship of state to be called? ‘Oh that’s a No-brainer, HMAS Ideologue’.

Dear reader, once again we’re exceedingly proud to have another installment from that luminary of the near North, Mr Tony Emo. WE  do however, apologise for the inconvenience and disappointment caused by the withdrawal of the other scheduled luminary from the north, the former P.M, Mr Tony Abbott. But we believe in the interests of  jounalistic integrity and even handedness, this piece by Tony Emo is more balanced for our local audience. The former P.M we’ve been told, is still busy enlightening our friends in North America on the finer points of bigotry, exclusivity and small mindedness. They have a predeliction for ‘that ol style religion’ there. It’s in their DNA I’ve been told.

And now Mr Emo himself;

Just Incredible!

A Look at Factually-Uncontaminated Beliefs

Young Tony Emo. Dublin, (via Ballykissangel) c. 1943, being introduced to the finer points of religious doctrine by his grandfather, Adolphus Augustus Melancthon Emo.

As a young chap in Ireland, my head still firmly buried in the ample bosom of Mother Church, I heard a lot about the central importance of ‘faith’ in my life.

From the pulpit we heard again and again that the surest way to Express-Post your immortal soul to unending, celestial joy was to die for one’s faith. And, in chop-smacking detail, priests regaled us with sanguinary tales of stalwart believers who gladly suffered excruciating deaths rather than deny their holy faith. Immediately afterwards the school chapel fairly boomed to that stirring anthem, ‘Faith of Our Fathers’.

The real Henry the Eighth. Progenitor of “Heathen England”, carbuncles and all. Starring at the inaugural Royal variety performance. Eastcheap. c. 1540.

With this ever in mind, priests constantly warned us of the dangers of migrating to Heathen England, where fleshly temptations abounded and one’s faith would be under constant assault.

So little wonder that when I advised my parents that I was getting married to a Protestant girl (in reality, as much a pagan as I was), my devout mother’s first response was ‘And does that mean you will be giving up your faith?’. Everything else (would my sisters be bridesmaids, reception venue, invitation list, etc.) was subsidiary.

‘Faith’ – religious faith, that is – was a very big deal, indeed. It was the most important attribute one could have in this world, in value far beyond any fleeting, temporal distractions like wealth, fame or rank. It was what set you on course for the everlasting Beatific Vision or, if neglected or spurned, the unquenchable flames of Hellfire!

For all that, I did go to England, married the ‘Protestant’ girl, mingled freely with Anglo-Saxon heathens and, worst of all, fell into the company of libidinous Hibernian apostates, chief of whom is now (remarkably) the Poetry Editor of a widely respected on-line journal of ideas and culture!

Having lost my faith in the Church of Rome, I eagerly took up Groucho Marx’s approach to faithful constancy, ‘Why be faithful to one, when you can be faithful to them all!’.

Groucho.

More seriously, for some time now I have pondered on the ‘faith’ that religionists keep referring to as a special virtue and wondered whether it is really a different species to the notion of ‘credulity’.

In religion, at least, is the difference simply a matter of individual perspective? Can the unfounded belief in invisible beings you describe as faith, be seen by others as simple credulity? While a self-described ‘spiritual’ person, revelatory religion seems to me to be delusional and so I have no difficulty in thinking of its votaries as credulous.

Outside religion, we may interpret ‘faith’ as being a conviction constructed upon informal, fragmentary and partial knowledge or experience. (For example, an individual’s known character and record suggests that they are very likely to perform in a certain way in a future undertaking – and this justifies having ‘faith’ in their capacity.)

Credulity, on the other hand, could be regarded as being generally unanchored to objective facts and driven instead by wish-projection, susceptibility to persuasive flimflam, neurotic emotional need, lack of critical thinking, conditioning, unrealistic ‘straight-line’ projections, and so on.

Also, credulousness is a habit of mind: if you believe one piece of nonsense it is very likely you also believe in many other types of rubbish. So, we are not surprised that anti-vaxers also believe in crystal magic, numerology, alien visits and so on.

At the extreme, credulity morphs into magical thinking – and this is never more dangerous that when it is projected onto individuals. Cult leaders, like the odious L. Ron Hubbard, and despots like Adolf Hitler and the Pyongyang dynasty, are ascribed superhuman powers and are deemed to be guided by the sure hand of Providence. We know that when that happens, intelligent people can be persuaded to act stupidly, kindly folk to behave cruelly… and reality is suspended.

‘Questioning to the Un-questioners’ (op. cit. Donald Rumsfeld) in his capacity to turn the tide. Our favourite Saxon King. Canute. Originally referred to as CNUT. Our editor believes it’s Saxon spelling is an anagram of sorts. We’re confused and would offer a prize to any reader who could decipher the correct interperatation of this anagram in common English usage.

Finally, if you ask me at what point ‘faith’ elides into ‘credulity’, I would say I do not know with any certainty. But this much I do hold as an article of faith: our scientific knowledge of ourselves and our universe is only extended by unfettered questioning and curiosity, not by a self-satisfied and smug assumption that all the important answers we need are in a single, ancient book.

And I have never yet heard of doubters and questioners ever burning anyone at the stake or blowing themselves up in a classroom of innocents because others did not share their version of skepticism!

Mr Professor by Lionel G Fogarty

Criticism
reflecting fiction of todays sickness
critics in attics
selfish
about to refer
fixing world famous figures
added to modern literature
and produced in the future.
Writers always not right
Left wing
fly at times
on right wing.
Criticism still reflects
in the fiction of real life
Thanks, Mr Professor
for those kind gestures
but I’m doing my thing.
Our guns are alive
that’s the reality
alive
like lava
and your intellectual
and academic criticisms
have been your industry,
out of our oppression.

from “New and Selected Poems, 
Munaldjali, Mutuerjaraera”  1995, Hyland House, Melbourne.