If you think it’s hard for Crown executives, spare a thought for Hong Kong Bookslllers. Up to their ears in bureaucratic red tape.

Dear reader, occasionally we give cause to pause. Yes indeed to pause and reflect upon the heavy lifting done by the LIFTERS in our community. Please, we know we’re all busy, an some of us, (anyone born after 1990) are doing it tough because they realise that it’ll be mashed avocado from hereon. Such is the solace in knowing that they’ll never ever be able to buy a home. Ever! But let us not dwell on their plight over-long, as LOSERS they’ll just have to GET OVER IT! But an issue that runs deep in these vexed times of spiraling inequality is the dilemma faced by employees, the senior executives of Crown Casino in Macau, who’ve all found themselves on the wrong side of the law. Poor sods.

Crown can learn from Hong Kong Booksellers. Though bookselling and reading generally is not comparable in any way to the successful Crown Business model.

You see the Chinese government is pretty cross with corrupt officials and their cronies siphoning money out of state owned enterprises into gambling. It’s poor form just siphoning funds into real estate in foreign countries not yet partly owned and operated by the communist party. It’s absolute disaster then, if you venture to take a spin at a partially owned foreign enterprise that encourages such frivolous behaviour. And it has been suggested even, that casino’s are an elaborate form of allowing people to launder money. Fancy that! Seems the Australian executives of Crown are in deep trouble. You’re not allowed to encourage locals to gamble elsewhere other than in China.

Crown Barangaroo. The public space is that little green piece left over on the left hand side. Proof of Crown’s excellent record in public stewardship, decency and nobility of spirit, almost akin to the noble spirit of ANZAC

We’re a little confused because Crowns’ excellent business model with a new Casino opening in Perth and another excellent one at Barangaroo, (due to open in 2020) are designed almost exclusively to siphon as much hard earned from people who incidentally come for China as fast as is humanly possible. That’s bad news for the Crown business model. A stemming of the ‘Rivers of the GOLD’ and worse still, their executives being chucked in the clanger. No trial. No charge, and No communication ever since..

There could be problem with the Crown business model. Now lets be fair, we know that Crown does a hell of a lot of good locally. Gambling has been a good thing for Australia. And way better as any comparative analysis, say Great Britain, where the profits are re-directed to community building initiatives. No such thing happens in Australia. The profits go straight back to the shareholder, to do with what they will. Thats the principle of the ‘trickle down effect’. And everyone, politicians foremost, agree that it’s an entirely satisfactory model. Incidentally quite a lot of ordinary people as consequence of gambling kill themselves and go to jail, or their lives are destroyed. The gambling industry urges us to gamble responsibly. They’ve normalised gambling to make us happier and content. That’s why Barangaroo, originally intended as a public project of open space and cultural splendour has been taken over by private enterprise and gambling to cater for high rollers. Its the net social benefit.

A high roller is someone, (coincidentally from China) with lot of money left over as surplus after they’ve bought several dozen properties in places where the rule of law applies, like Australia. The Crown executives don’t have the protection of law in China. Something they may have overlooked whilst harnessing the ‘Rivers of GOLD’. And no one knows, ( or really cares) when they’ll be set fee. That’s where China is little different. Jamie Packer, benefactor and good all round bloke to pollies on both sides of parliament may have a problem. But in gambling with high rollers, ‘when the chips are down‘, you can rely on your mates. The executives may not be out for while, perhaps a year or two, but Jamie and his mates will find a way. ‘Where there’s a will’, they say. And Jamie can learn from China. The business model that’s served well the communist party cadres will stand fast. In the end, the public will pay.

Dear reader , there have never been more exciting times.

For most of us life can be an endless stream of minor struggles as we attempt to balance our meagre income against the cost of living. Indeed there’s mortgage stress, rent stress, emotional stress, (as a consequence of the aforementioned), and on top of all that the stress we all suffer for falling short of key performance indicators. These can be varied and diverse, and they can range from satisfaction ratings, (liable to considerable fluctuation) and the miscellany of minor stresses. We can label a few; Mykey stress, traffic stress, blackboard scraping stress, (not so common now most classrooms have converted to whiteboards), gender specific stress and the day to day worries associated with erectile dysfunction and bedroom performance. All of the above, establishing a veritable obstacle course of real and imagined worry. It’s enough to make you want to stay in bed. And our only hope, is a basic native optimism that keeps us plodding on.

Bernard Salt (Partner, KPMG).Demonstrates width of avocado sandwich favoured by millennials.

Hardworking members of the communist party

Members of the Communist party love Georgian architecture. Go figure!

Good thing then, that revered demographer Bernard Salt demonstrates evidence of the ideas boom at work. It’s been difficult, with the further devaluation of the CSIRO, and the rise of Bernardii-ism to find substantive evidence of the innovation and ideas boom. Indeed the Prime Minister has kept it under covers. We can understand this, possessed, as he is with such intelligence and wisdom. It would be unwise, (bit like the f35 stealth fighter) to reveal all its advantages in one showing.  We know that in no time flat, copies of the ‘ideas boom’ would be appearing, (identical to ours), in China, where they have no respect for copyright and intellectual property. Though we hasten to add, they (well members of the Communist party) have an extraordinary respect for French Empire and neo Georgian architecture. But the point is, that the P.M, has kept thinking well and truly in “shut down mode’, and that’s a bloody good thing, because it gives the economy stability. Without stability the Property Council would get the jitters. And when that happens EVERYTHING, a veritable house of cards, comes tumbling down.

Winners are Grinners. Baby Boomers

Bernard Salt made a critical observation. Millennials have a penchant for expensive sandwiches. You see!! An ‘ideas boom’ singularity. He’s really clever our Bernard. Not only is he a demographer, but he knows what’s going on across the board. And he does this by sitting in cafes.

Soup Kitchen. Responsible eating. Soon to be released Australia-wide as an ‘Ideas Boom Millennial Nation Building Initiative’.

Bernard probably got a free education. Bernard also probably paid next to nothing for a house. Bernard, most likely has a whole army of millennials working as interns in his office for free. Bernard also has probably made squillions by just sitting on his arse and watching the property that he bought cheaply just get more and more expensive. And Bernard knows that his generation, (the annointed baby Boomers) have never ever ever had it so good. Bernard is right to comment on the millennials. They can never ever scrub up to be quite as successful as him. He comes from a golden age. And quite rightfully, he feels scorn for those no hopers. Even before they finish Uni they’ll have a hundred thousand dollar debt, some of them can never ever pay. Losers!!

Bernard is dead right, they are wasting their meagre allowance on Avocado mash, and things like food, clothing, and perhaps dentistry. They’re pathetic! No wonder they can’t ever afford a house. Members of the communist party can. They’ve also worked hard, like Bernard. He wishes they’d buck up. Get real. Face facts, and work bloody hard. There’s no use telling them. And pathetically they (the millennials) say what’s the use?. Bernard is made of the right stuff. The millennials are like a sore that wont heal. Bernard must pick at that sore. Pick it. And better still, as we all know they feel pain, which they deserve, Bernard (respected demographer) sees the open wound in our society. And knows what to do. Rub Salt into it.

“As time goes by” . P.M for Innovation making time stand still.

Dear reader, upon reflection it is comforting to know that we only have three weeks left in the U.S election run-up. And then, it’ll be all over. And what’s more comforting, as evidenced by our ‘P.M for Innovation’ Mr. Malcolm Turnbull is that not much will change.

That is a source of great comfort. If Clinton wins, there will be a sigh of relief from the one percent, their investments, holdings and influence will remain intact. If Trump wins, much the same. For poor people, the world over, they can expect to be punished. And reform, after all the talk, will be quietly forgotten. That’s what we’ve learnt from the Turnbull presidency, (we acknowledge that we have a Westminster system) but we think you’ll agree that ‘presidency’ sounds more lofty. And besides,  he is an ardent republican as well.

So there’s lots to hope for. And for the environment, education, thought, imagination, they can all go and get stuffed. No one cares. And the best news is that you can still buy an electric kettle, a toaster and hair dryer for the crazy low price of $ 7.95, (inclusive of GST) at your local Big W. So who said globalism made losers of us? And our advice to the U.S public, think carefully before you vote, because the last thing anyone really want is … Change. And now, one last time, a look at some toys that made a collective nostalgia for the past, just that little bit rosier.

Ladders and Ladders 420×300 1996 PellToys

‘Ladder and ladders’ was an exciting initiative developed by the ecumenical church council to give kiddies the opportunity to exhilarate in the rapid promotion then on offer in all branches of religious life. Instead of the snakes that would adorn the more standardised ‘Snakes and Ladders’, the board consisted just of ladders. However, between the ladders and the ultimate rise to the top, where little snakes configuring little circles. Within each circle an object, clearly visible” would indicate a “Sin”, a “Vile Act”, or a ‘Cunning little lie”. Each player had to traverse the series of ladders to the ultimate goal of being consecrated an archbishop, or in some instances, ( a cardinal). After the ascent of each ladder, the player was asked, by the other players, ‘what they had observed long the upward journey’? Those who provided the most plausible fabrication, without repetition, hesitation or departure from the subject were allowed to move on. Those who offered implausible excuses were relegated to the bottom. It was a game that required absolute skill in obfuscation, casuistry and deflection . No copies of the game survive, but it is rumoured some exist as preparation devices for politicians about to undergo senate and parliamentary entitlement hearings.

Mr Tomato-head 420×300 1975-2015 Rednek Toys

Mr Tomato Head represented an attempt by a local manufacturer, (Rednek Toys) to give the Mr Potato Head franchise a ‘real through going over’. Taking the predominance of ‘interesting’ politicians then in circulation in the sunshine state, the toy was a sort of characterised hybridisation between Rus Hinze, Bjelke Petersen and the average Queensland voter. The toy proved very popular in the peanut growing districts around Kingaroy and looked set to carve it’s very own niche in the novelty toy sector. Sadly sales dropped off after the demise of the Petersen Government. Only recently, with the stunning profile of Barnaby Joyce boosted by the fracas with internationally famed superstar actor Johnny Depp and his ex wife Amber has interest renewed in a new Mr Tomato-head Doll. Preliminary discussions wit the Federal Agricultural Minister are ongoing.

P.M Malcolm Turnbull demonstrating just “How Big” the innovation Boom will be, responds to questions of possible sale of CSIRO infrastructure to Sports Bet, Crown, Cash Converters, and other highly successful world-beating local businesses.

Dear reader, you’ve probably been wating for substantial evidence of the PM for ‘Ideas and Innovation’s’ Innovation Boom. Some of you may have been disappointed that as yet, the Property Council, ( Australia’s leader in innovation and resource development) have not yet delivered the sort of business model that really puts us at the forefront of innovation excellence. And some of you may still be wondering if the excellent plethora of private training colleges are really producing the skills base we need to make ourselves less reliant on mining and real estate as principle drivers of the economy. Well the good news is, that nothing’s happened yet to upset the finely tuned equilibrium of the Australian economy, and with great leaders, (George Christensen Eric Abetz, Corey Bernardii) to guide an innovative and reformist policy agenda, we know that the future of manufacturing glows very bright indeed. What a perfect opportunity then, to give you another glimpse at some of the products that almost made it to our retail shelves. And, described here for the very first time, give inspiration to the many great innovations yet to come.

Percy The Arrrogant Bastard  420×300 1972 Meccarno Toys.

The first ever “emotionally nuanced’ train set.

Meccarno Toys were frustrated by the success of competitors in the toy market who’d carved a niche for distinctive, iconic toys children loved the word over. Determined to make a break from the standard convention of toys and inspired by the Rev W Audrey series, they determined to develop individualistic personalities for the toys they developed. The first of these was ‘Percy the Arrogant Bastard” Percy was just like his stablemate Percy, the tank engine, with one exception. As either a clockwork or electric train, it would travel with a fusillade of arrogant and obtuse assertions. The pre recorded messages included such immortal phrases, as; “ outta my way you useless little squirt”, ‘call yourself Arse-Face’, and “ Pigs Arse’. Percy the Arrogant Bastard, was the first in a line of toy locomotives allied to an upcoming animated children’s series. His stable-mates included; ‘Thomas the Turd; Freddy the foul- mouthed’ and ‘Hettie the Harlot’.

After some considerable interest in the series the idea for both the toys and the T.V animation were dropped by the BBC, as unsavoury. Objecting to the depiction of the toys as all invariably white and Anglo, the board of the BBC, declared they were too closely aligned to stereotypical depictions of ordinary people and did not reflect the multicultural bounty of post war Britain. In a desperate attempt to re-sale them as ‘Luigi the Loco’, ‘Spiros the Steamer,’ and ‘Wong the Twack Wepair Wagon’ they failed to excite the public imagination. Possibly this was due to the insults being indecipherable to the mainstream as they were in native tongue.

Brewster Buffalo 420×300 1942 Stinky Toys

Australia’s first ever Stealth Fighter.

The Brewster Buffalo, then touted as 1941’s Stealth Fighter, was the “ very latest thing in forward defence and provides excellent and unquestionable value for money to the Australian taxpayer’. (Minister for Defence Hansard 1941). Sensing a national cultural icon, the Brewster, then nicknamed the “ Flying Beer Barrel, was chosen as the first in their range of odourised toys for children. It offered numerous novel features in a compact package, a true rival to the more stablished Dinky range. For starters it was manufactured in rubber, and had all the details; missing engine, jammed machine guns and collapsable undercarriage in scintillating detail. Hearing rumours of teething problems with RAAF Brewsters on active duty in Singapore the range was upgraded with ‘leaking oil’, ‘Fused generator’, and ‘hydraulic malfunction’ option which combined the odours of all three into an outstanding olfactory package.

But as war clouds gathered, rubber supplies ceased, this created material shortcomings before the devastating fall of Singapore. Sensing the symbolic failure of the Brewster both in the air and as model kit form, the production cased, and the dies, re-utilised to create Australia’s very own fighter the CAC Boomerang. In the words of aeronautical Designer Fred David ‘A design though flawed, that truly did come back’.

Cecil Poole on ennui

I’ve been feeling so down, so slothful, exhausted, stuffed, without purpose.  Listening to the ABC hasn’t helped.  I feel like Rick from “The Young Ones”, – ‘peace man’.

The only things that happen to me don’t.

So for the best part of ten weeks I’ve failed to write.  I’ve spent so much of my life seeking approval, validation, friendship.  From Quentin Cockburn.  From Ira Maine.

I dress in conspicuous clothing.  Bold checks.  Polished shoes.  I try to be cool.  I speak out the corner of my mouth.  I saunter.  I sashay.  I even smoked a cigarette (once).    Yet no one notices me.  At least not in the way I want.  I was in Brunswick Street once and a young fellow poked me in the side and said (cruelly) “Country Boy”.  I happened to be with the most gorgeous cosmopolitan woman, a woman I’d been tying to impress (from a distance (of some miles) for years.  “Country Boy”!  The shame, the utter shame is with me still.   26 years, four months and seven days later.  Tears well up just writing about it . . ..

. . . sorry.  I’ve got a clean handkerchief.  AND I’m not wallowing in self pity.  I’m not.

Still I’ve been keen to impress Quentin and Ira.  Or even get them to notice me.  But nothing.  Not even a curt dismissal.  I know they are men of the world.  Their opinions are sought at the Sandhurst Club, at the Tolmie Tavern.  I’ve little doubt they are sought to advise at Davos, Jackson Hole, Toronto.

I was so down the other day (about ten weeks ago) I tuned in to the ABC, Radio National.  And listened to a conversation recorded at the Brisbane Writers Festival with Lionel Shriver (and how anyone could use the word ‘Festival” and ‘Lionel Shriver’ in the same program is beyond me) and the talk turned to that well known middle age, middle class female condition ennui.  I always thought it was pronounced ‘en/u/ee’.  Devastatingly I mentioned this to a PhD from the Sorbonne who gently corrected me.

As I tossed and turned, unable to write, unable to laugh, unable to sleep, (and being quite old unable to get the requisite blood flow to ensue a self satisfied sleep) I self-diagnosed on-wee (with an almost silent ‘n’).  I sat up startled, shocked that I would suffer this complaint.

Well, what does one do when one has a self diagnosed condition?  Look for confirmation of course.  Resort to google.  So weeks ago I got that confirmation.  Up to a point.  Was it ennui? Could it be angst?  Or the wonderful Weltschmertz? 

Well I set up my matrix and considered the  options.

Angst: was I worried  and dissatisfied in an “introspective, overthinking” Germanic way?  Absolutely not.  The way ‘Angst’ rolled off the tongue just did not do it for me.

Weltschmertz: Oh, what a word! If I said it often enough surely i’d have my lips tuned to master any wind instrument at all.  However, as I don’t wear sensible shoes, and have no real ‘sadness in my heart for a world that can never be’ weltschmertz is not the answer.

So that left me with Ennui.  That the English word annoy comes from ennui is a hint.   That it has “connotations of self indulgent posturing and European decadence” strengthens the case.  Now I “proclaim this, with a long, slow sigh . . . (I’ve) got ennui.

So obviously I had to write about this.  It is the best part of ten weeks since the diagnosis, and I’m ready.  I open the computer.  Source the links.  Turn on the radio.  Marianne Faithfull sings ‘As Tears Go By’ – not the version I knew as a fourteen year old, but a wonderful funny ironic version sung 50 years later, then Jimmy Hendrix playing on New Years Eve 1969, and David Bowie accompanied by Rick Wakeman, then Chicago Blues – Chess Brothers recordings.

The Ennui seems to have gone.  I’ve nothing to say.

EXCEPT I watched this with Faithfull and Bowie and went to bed laughing.

Lionel G. Fogarty

Lionel G. Fogarty is Australia’s foremost experimental and political poet.  Today’s poem is from his 2014 anthology Eelahroo (Long Ago) Nyah (Looking) Möbö-Möbö (Future) titled 

Murgon Brawl Cherbourg Brawls

They out there, not hidden
Have you heard of that brawl?
Up at Murgon town
Have you seen the 20 15 or so?
Darkies cause a fuss and fight?
Well, they came and told
Me before I read a paper.
Some sisters bashed up a
Female cop hey.
Some cops dragged picked on
The wrong black man,
So they deserved what Bompi
They got hey.
Now there’s this Jackie Joe
Saying them blacks who
Can’t hold their grog bang
Brought the brawl on
And guessed what him say to media.
I’m a bit ashamed to be Aboriginal
For they should not have charged at football
Show games places
Well who started it
Cops speak drunks started
Hit Hit Hit
Black Joe Jackie says all dri=unks
Started Hit Hit Hit
But Jesus was a drunk
Have you all heard, blacks
Drunken having a good time
Blacks, playing win or
Lose, sometimes can’t
Hit, when called boong nigger,
They react fast
Have you heard of stirring?
Cheeky police office
Who wait for those loud?
Talkative blackfellas under the weather
Then bang into the paddy
Wagon or slammed
The police don’t maintain good
Relations when you heard of
Bompi Bompi with Murris
Maybe all bad cops and bad blacks
Should go over goori for fighting ground next.

(To Kurt and Nanny Fisher, Sunday 8.39 pm, 2011-01-09)

Bompi – like a waterfall hitting on your face, the name of a waterfall
Jackie Joe – a ridicule name for a black tracker, police employee
Goori – identity term for NSW/southern QLD;
Murri – identity term for NSW/QLD
Boong – derogatory term for Aboriginal people
Daran – evil magic.

Today’s dispatch is Silver Lining .  Dispatched on 6 October 2016

Bonjour mes amies,

Back in 1971 (bloody hell, that’s nearly half a Century ago!) on our way back to Australia we had a most enjoyable week in Montreal. One afternoon we spent with trilingual Monique (French, Quebecois and English) and her copin , monolingual Raymond (Quebecois seulment) sitting on the lawn in Mt. Royal Park. There we witnessed something I was told was called ‘La Promenade’. Around dusk, small family groups were strolling around Beaver Lake, some clockwise and some anti-clockwise. When they chanced upon some friends or acquaintances they would stop and chat for a while before proceeding with their walk.

Later on our trip we spent a week in Salamanca (Mexico) on the Pan-American Highway. Our stay coincided with what I remember as being their Saint’s day. A weeklong celebration which included copious homemade fireworks; on one occasion a burning ‘wheel’ showered our vehicle with multi coloured sparks. Mercifully our ’bread van’ was rescued by a group of bystanders who lifted it out of harm’s way. On the rotunda in the central square a band played which I’m now convinced was Carlos Santana y su conjunto.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACdwCIld3kE  (Santana-Samba Pa Ti- Live in Mexico)

Less ‘formal’ than Montreal’s La Promenade but none the less around dusk a gathering with lively conversations between small groups of friends and acquaintances took place.

Not all that long ago in Yuendumu at dusk, small groups of friends and acquaintances (and in the case of Warlpiri people, family) would stroll past the (then modest) police station to Big Dam and back.

Digressing- one of the most memorable science fiction books I’ve read was Fred Hoyle’s ‘Black Cloud’.

From my dad’s anecdotes:

SEP.’07- Not all that long ago dad was having one of his sessions and kept coming up with his now habitual rather negative opinions. This caused his daughter in law (of whom he is rather fond) to remark that: “Well, you know Mark: every silver lining has its dark cloud”. Touché!

Keep The Home Fires Burning Sung By John McCormack….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvuCaLRcgh4

…There’s a silver lining, through the dark cloud shining. Turn the dark cloud inside out, till the boys come home…

Recently a visitor who returned after a long absence remarked that there seemed to be far fewer people walking in the streets of Yuendumu. No more mass strolling to Big Dam.

These days some of the largest gatherings which happen in Yuendumu are the two day monthly court sessions, on the way to Big Dam, at the relatively new $7.6M police complex (the prior modest police station having been demolished). Every month fifty or so cases are heard at which kardiya (white-fellow) ‘justice’ is dispensed in large overdoses.

Dark clouds descend on Yuendumu on a regular basis. Yet every cloud has a silver lining.

Last week, our visitor from a few weeks ago, would have noticed even more the dearth of people casually walking in the streets. Yuendumu was a virtual ghost town.

An unprompted spontaneous mass exodus took place. PAW was filming part of what are known in English as ‘Songlines’. Everyone who could, set off and joined in, living, singing and dancing and teaching the young all the way from Wirnparrku (where Yarripirri came out of the ground) on to Yimpalu, Napanangkajarra,  Wayililinpa, Ngama, Mijinpanta and Katurnu.

A distance of almost 200 Km from west of Haasts Bluff (Ikunji) to near Yuendumu. Many people from other communities, some from as far as Ali Curung, joined in.

The enthusiasm and joy of the returning crowds was palpable.

Bonnie Raitt- Silver Lining:

Take this silver lining
Keep it in your own sweet head
Shine it when the night is burning red
Shine it in the twilight
Shine it on the cold cold ground
Shine it till these walls come
Tumbling down

We were born with our eyes wide open
So alive with wild hope
Now can you tell me why
Time after time
They drag you down
Down in the darkness deep
Fools in their madness all around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcDaAr3EPqI

Au Revoir,

François

PS- PAW= Pintubi/Anmatjere/Warlpiri Media (formerly Warlpiri Media) http://www.pawmedia.com.au/

PAW Production expect the film to be shown on NITV next year. It is part of the second “Songlines on Screen” series. Previous Songlines production can be seen on SBS on Demand. It is an initiative developed by Screen Australia to document ‘songlines’ around the country.

“Yarripirri’s Journey” is the tentative title of the film.

There they go!!

Dear reader, this mouthpiece is not usually associated with the culture of complaint as the late Robert Hughes so eloquently put it, but today we make an exception. We are Sick and tired. Excuse us, we’ll say it again for good measure, SICK AND BLOODY TIRED of the Green’s behaviour these past few weeks. Could they please sit still. We, the electorate pay them good coin. Apparently even the most slob- like scrofulous back bencher is paid upwards of 190 thou, to sit on their arse and think God ,King and Country. Why then, every time a One Nation Senator begins their outburst, do they walk out? We want them to represent us and not shirk their responsibilities.

There they go again!!

It’s not good enough. It’s bad enough knowing that rusted on fogey lefty tree hugging Lee Rhiannon, whom we are led to believe is loathed, detested and abhorred by the entire party remains in spite of attempts to dislodge her. But this is one instance where we want her to stay. To make it quite clear that as another elder entitled baby boomer, she’s not more interested in her massive parliamentary benefits for just staying than being an agency of change. She’s earnt, it. We implore her to stay. She’s on a bloody good wicket. So is the P.M and he doesn’t even need the money.

This walking out has just got to stop. We demand they stay. Not only that, we demand they stay and have a laugh. Demonstrate to us in Churchillian mode, that the opposition can do whatever I likes, threaten, beat, berate, bomb, and we’ll just sit back and have a good laugh.

There goes Lee Rhiannon. And she gets paid 195 thou to piss off on principle!

It all points to one thing. The Greens, though noble, self sacrificing idealists of truth, justice and integrity, no less noble than the annointed sons and daughters who stand before the god-head of Anzac, and all its infinite worth, lack something. A sense of humour. And why shouldn’t they laugh out loud? It’s what One Nation needs. Every time a One Nation senator says something really silly, we all need to laugh.

We suggest that this uniform would look good on PBC management. Perhaps a ” nuanced” Border Force uniform could be adapted to lesser tier members of the PBC.

Take Brain Burstin’s speech. Brain, doesn’t like multiculturalism. He’s dead right. He reckons the ‘public broadcaster is unfairly biased against conservatives and has been the victim of a “cultural Marxist takeover”.  Brain reckons; “A fair balance might be struck by leaving the minority ethnic channels intact while transferring funding from the ABC to establish a new channel that might be called the Patriotic Broadcasting Corporation, whose explicit mission would be to represent the identity and interests of mainstream Australia,” He reckons the nation is losing its “Anglo-Australian identity”. Too effin right. We’ve been saying this for years. That it’s time the tide of the Marxist, Bolshevist  construct of crime, deprivation, rape, burglaries, was stemmed. This is a white man’s country. and we must retain the principles that guided us in colonising. And that’s not just the stuff we perpetrate still, on the first australians.

But now, Brain reckons both Liberal and Labor are colonising us with wogs and spiks, and dagos’, and chinks and mussies. Tgere’s no room left for ” Angry White Men”. He reckons it’s outta control. And that’s why we need a PBC. A Patriotic Broadcasting Corporation. On this line Brian is dead right. And unlike the Greens, he STANDS for something. But, he’s not going hard enough and this is where the Greens are so frustrating. We need a Propaganda Broadcasting Corporation. With real uniforms and promotion. Rapid promotion for those prepared to do a bit of correspondent reports from the eastern front, the middle eastern front, where the art of colonising and civilising is our burden. Good onya Brain. And Good on the PBC. And for once, just once, can you humourless bastards of the Greens…….. Sit STILL!!!

Dear reader, we, (the editorial staff at PcbyCp) have been struggling to maintain our consistent high level, thoughtful, imaginative and deeply insightful commentary on contemporary politics and society. And, it is with deep regret we inform you that it’s just getting too hard. You see, the purpose of this blog was to establish a platform on which to make satirical observation on contemporary society. We liked to think we gave equal weight to lampooning both sides of politics. And to date, the job’s been pretty easy. But now it’s almost impossible. How can one reasonably lampoon the Presidential fracas in America. They’re doing a bloody good job themselves. Lampooning only works when you have an objective sounding board to lampoon against. It’s an echo principle as distinct from an echo chamber. The problem is, rather than interpret the echo, as we used to do, the chamber is on ‘full effect’, and we only get distorted perspective that’s already been echoed. Or in other words, we think the rational hypothetical construct that we used to refer to as the ‘general public’, is no longer there. There is no rational base. There is no reflective medium with which to synthesize the babble. And what are we left with? Very little indeed.

We were going to ask a learned university professor, but all the one’s in politics, anthropology and classical literature have been replaced by business funded chairs, in departments with new names like ‘Business ethics and success management’, ‘Entrepreneurship 101’, or ‘The V. Putin chair of rent seeking value adding, for contemporary society’. It’s all very depressing, and the trouble is, that our elected representatives are surpassing us. We’re like manufacturing in this country. We are effectively closed.

‘Much cleverer than she looks” (Tony Abbott)

Phil Hughes helmet. ‘Possibly the most significant news event of the 21st century’ ( Malcolm Turnbull , current P.M)

Take for example this weeks gaffe by the Finance Minister Kelly O’Dwyer. This excerpt from the ABC says it all; ‘The Federal Government has been embarrassed by a procedural bungle in Parliament, after accidentally endorsing a bill amended by Labor, which criticised the Government. Minister for Revenue and Financial Services Kelly O’Dwyer was seeking to pass the International Tax Agreements Amendment Bill 2016 through the House of Representatives on Wednesday. But Ms O’Dwyer accidentally endorsed a second reading amendment put forward by shadow assistant treasurer Andrew Leigh. The amendment calls on the Government “to explain why it has failed to close tax loopholes and increase transparency in Australia”. After some confusion, Ms O’Dwyer appeared to support the amendment, facilitating its passage through the House of Representatives. Manager of opposition business Tony Burke said it was the first time in the history of federal parliament that a second reading amendment had ever been supported.

Senator Brain Burstin, doing his bit for ‘God King and Country’.

You see it’s ‘Game Over’ as the Yanks would say. We’ve been outplayed. How can we compete with this? What’s really difficult to trump, (excuse the pun) is a minister, who is assumedly briefed by a small army of minders and under secretary’s boldly going onto the floor, and reading, (robot-like) the oppositions amendment, and not realising for an instant, that she was on the wrong side, batting for the wrong team. And quite possibly thinking that the laughter and applause from the other side of the house, was akin to rapturous applause. You see, we can’t top that…

Count Kook, is the suavely dressed gentlemen to the right of the George Christensen model.

And that’s just the beginning, because, it get worse. And it’s about, a bloke called Brian Burston. We’ve nicknamed him ‘Brain Burstin’, cos he’s making our job just too bloody hard. We need an enquiry. But like the Phil Hughes enquiry. And though we know the reason why, we just cant ever get over it. Blame the pitch, blame the umpire, the ball, the bowler, the fieldsmen, the umpire, but don’t you dare ever touch the game. It’s all gone ‘Count Kook’ if you ask me.

Dear reader. we were going to talk about how courgeous the Queensland government are in granting emergency status to the Adani Coalmine. But such intelligence and forward thinking should not go unrewarded. So in a spirit of forward thinking-ness, we’ve been asked by our editorial department to submit two more Games that never quite made it, from our extensive archive. It is hoped that these will act as a foundation for the visionary, engaged, and socially conscious policy our federal government is committed to. And perhaps a message from those glorious days when innovation and nationhood stood hand in hand.

Medical Kit 420×320 1955 PolyToys

The medical kit (colloquially sold in the U.K as the Backyard abortion kit) was a very popular item. Sales soared during the ‘American flood” of 1942-45, and again during the Korean war, when unwanted pregnancies and the dire consequences became commonplace. Designed as an adjunct to the popular ‘Doctor and Nurses Kit’ the ‘Backyard’ offered some interesting and novel features. These included a length of rubber hose, a small jar, a small bottle of ether and a pair of forceps. This all came with an attractive, (as standard in Doctor and Nurses Kit) uniforms and fake moustache.

The kit was exceedingly popular in both Britain and Australia, as a consequence of being affordable. And a boon for children improvising with bomb sites and vacant allotments to extend their range of their ‘imaginative play’. In spite of numerous protests from splinter and church groups the game was seen as an ‘inoffensive mirror to contemporary life’, (Archbishop of Canterbury) and children enjoyed mimicking the ritual of “letting the doctor in the back gate”, ‘sterilizing the coat hangar” and ‘helping dad walk to the pub’, whilst the procedure was in progress. Unfortunately, it became apparent at the Old Bailey that the notorious Mr Christie had adapted the kits for his personal use with dire consequences.

The game was immediately banned as unsuitable, and all product destroyed. However it is rumoured the kit survives in Russia, with a minor change reflecting the current aids epidemic in the country. The only difference being the ‘Doctor and Nurses’ uniform is substituted for prison guard uniforms.

 Maralinga Man 400×300 1956 Atomic Toys. C.1956

Maralinga Man, was a first for local toy manufactures. The first ever ‘Glow in the Dark’, robot man it capitalised upon the atomic testing then happening in the outback. Spurned on by the desire of the then Prime Minster, Sir Robert Menzies to plead the British Government for ‘Atomic testing Anywhere in Australia‘, the robot toy was designed to walk, talk and eradicate any plants, animals humans who stood in the way of nuclear progress. The Initial response from retailers was enthusiastic with bumper sales predicted before Christmas. Then tragically as pre-release sales skyrocketed and distributors tested the toys at home incidents of radiation sickness took their toll. In short the toys were deadly. The toys were removed, and re-badged, on-sold in Nagasaki, as the ‘Atomic Manga Man’. Evidently the radiation dosage was mitigated by the background radiation. Thus rendering them comparatively harmless.