Dear reader, we’d taken a day or two off over chrissy, but as the Cardinal was overheard to say to the actress in correspondence to the Child Abuse Royal Commission, “I only acted in your best interests, provided, you promise, not to tell’.
Wishing you all the best for the New Year.
The outgoing Special Minister for State. Mr Mal Practice.
2016 Promises to be a significant year of fundamental change. Well then dear reader, that’s the message coming from the Prime Ministers Office. There’s big change afoot. First in the big change category has been the down grading of the role of Special Minister for State, ‘The outgoing Special Minister has done a splendid job. Really quite splendid, and as a consequence there’s no real need for such application in this government to assess procedure and due diligence’. Asked to consult his diary to record the years significant events, the P.M was flummoxed, as the diary had left the building and according to the P.M; ‘an inadvertent mixup and understandable breach of protocol under the circumstances”.
Mr Mal Practice in happier days. Rescuing remote communities from the depravity of pornography, alcohol and anything else found in Canberra.
Asked to record his proudest moment the outgoing Special Minister recorded his role in the intervention. ‘By any index, all the indicators are up, Imprisonment, health deterioration, non-education and non-community representation, all up. It’s a big tick for doing it right, by established military protocols and the same intelligence that gave us Afghanistan and Syria’, The outgoing Special Minister also pointed to new opportunities in other remote parts of Australia, and the option for exporting our Stronger Futures if asked to New Guniea, the Solomons, Fiji and West Papua. And why, when queried, “because it gives certainty and it works”.
Clearly irritated by the over-long doorstop the P.M reiterated once again the innovative intent of his new parliament by referring to the prodigious efforts to re- calibrate the political environment. ‘Look at all the indices, foreign aid, refugees, and our exports of coal and iron ore, there’s big change and a clear new path to refute those who augment it’s business as usual. We’re really different from the Abbott government and as the months before the March election as, you’ll see just how different we are. Yes there’s a point to it all, ‘Abbott Point’.
Abbott Point can be seen from Space. Abbott wink may be less visible on cloudy days.
Senator Abetz, who declined the role as voice-over for Marty the Mollusc. Photographed in parliament doing his popular mollusc impersonation.
Courtesy from our friends in the Minerals and Energy Council we bring you ‘Marty the Mollusc’. Concerned with the negative reception from the ‘Coal is an amazing thing’ the Minerals and Energy Council have undertaken an extensive international search and came up with Marty, right in their back yard. ‘Marty, the Merry Mollusc’ lives at Abbott Point, and through an engaging and innovative computer program, is able to express through ‘Mollusc-media’ his desire for the Abbott Point Coal Terminal to grow. According to the M&EC publicist, ‘Marty will be the Skippy of the twenty first century and bring a new era of environmental management to Australian Living rooms’. His catchphrase, ‘Bigger and better”, will put a stop to those ‘pesky activist barrier reefers’ . Marty will appear on national and international television, facebook and Youtube as our environmental ambassador to prove once and for all that coal really really is good for humanity, and we’re really really serious about doing it right for the environment. The Greater, (augmented with the worlds biggest ever coal terminal) Barrier Reef. ‘He’s a simple soul with a heart of gold’, but his message is true, ‘Coal and Real Estate, Making Australia GREAT’!!’ An enthusiastic message to all Australians. And now let’s talk about INNOVATION’!! Abbott Point will be Seen from SPACE’!!
Indeed the enthusiasm index seems to be in the rise with Donald Trump set to create more shockwaves for those not white, middle aged, conservative, and toupee wearing. And according to the Urban Development Institute of Australia, there’s still plenty of room left for development of national parks, crown land and infrastructure. Or so we’ve been led to believe, from their conference opening at the Shenzen Institute of Integrated Technologies, (S.H.I.T), and an enthusiastic response from the mining industry to trial the world’s first fully integrated residential CF&L, ‘Cut, Fill and Bury’ development, with specialist input from BHP’s Somarco development in Brazil.
Sad news for Clive Palmer an the other miners with iron ore and nickel well and truly down, but there’s interest in shifting their focus to nuclear waste storage and “Opening up the north’ to development in the short term’. Asked what ‘opening up’ meant? he was succinct; “oh for real estate”.
Former Education Minister the Rt. Hon. Christopher Pyne indicating a way ahead for education.
So lots to celebrate in 2016, and the knowledge, sacred to all of us, that in this year we’ll be celebrating the anniversary of that particularly nasty 100th, (Poizieres, the Somme, Passchendaele etc) on the western front, whilst committing ourselves to new ventures in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan or anywhere. Suggesting out with the old and in with the new, and we’re learning all the way . Well in a Gonski’ free learning environment sort of way.