Tbis edition of pcbycp is sponsored by Adem, who is a shoe-in for a possie on the Legislative Council after the Victorian State Election. A victory for fairness and the democratic principles of good governance.
You’d think our heroes had had enough!
You’d think after all they’d been through; they have had enough, that they’d gone the full SCOMO to emerge beaten but unresponsive, unapologetic, and righteous to the last.
But no, it was worse than that, after all they’d been through all the travails and tribulations, being imprisoned, being coerced, bludgeoned and bullied to Gundagai via far Kew you’d think that they’d be dead by now. But no! They’re still on the ground finding themselves up to their armpits in a filthy plot by Gina and her cronies to secure Gina a possie on the House of Lords. Paid for by gold ingots via the greasy auspices of Australia’s most celebrated war jingoist ‘Brenny-Boy’ Brendan Nelson and Australia’s greatest, (arguably) ever war hero the VC winner, the giant of Tarren Kowt. The Cliff Roller, and the people plugger ‘Benny Boy’ Roberts Smith.
Adem talks to pcbycp staff on ethics and morality in governance.
In the previous episodes we learnt sadly that King Charles the Turd and all his Cronies at Windsor Inc, are in on the plot to divest Australia of its Gold reserves so that forelock tuggers can get a possie in the House of Lords. And for Gina, who has everything, she wants the very absolute of all that money can buy, prestige and respectability. But it aint cheap. And with inflation it just got more expensive!
But, breathlessly, we add, there is more.
No sooner than ‘Brenny boy’ and his sidekick left them in the lurch than the arrival of their arch nemesis Sophie, on a Rotodyne. Sophie eviler than banality thereof, arriving and playing, not the ‘Ride of the Valkyrie’, as in ‘Apocalypse Now’, but something more and infinitely more sinister, a scratchy rendition of the Rolf Classic; ‘Two Little Boys’.
Our former, and some arguably say, our most ‘OUTSTANDING PM’, talks to the unanointed, (BY GOD) about his responsibility to lie, cheat and deceive for THEIR OWN GOOD!
Is there any Lower?
Is there a more corrupting influence, designed to torture an already tortured soul? Is it worse than Eurovision, the upcoming Commonwealth Games as cheap and tawdry? The situation they find themselves speaks for itself. They are trapped, and as the door opens what pudgy countenance is there before them? It’s none other than custodian of Fair Work and oppressor of retired law professors herself, Sophie the anti- archangel Mirabella.
‘Hiya Boys, Pleased to see me’?
She took a long drag on the Sobranie, flicked the fly swash she held inner left hand, and putting one patent leather jack boot on the first step and her head raised in the ultimate triumph she said, ‘Show me the gold boys before I plug youse for good this time’.
A MAN OF CONVICTION! A MAN OF OUR TIME!
We stood stock still, the thin whisps of Camel Smoke, (the brand, not the animal) listlessly caressed our parched and wrinkled countenances. We envisaged a short cross examination, a trial and then execution. Why would we expect anything else? She would do to us, as she was doing to wage earners every day of the week. She was the chosen, we, mere ‘Untermensch’.
Ces picked up the olive branch,
in this case, being the desert there was only a dry fragment of Mulga and said; ‘But Sophie, in all fairness we’re innocent! You’re chasing the wrong Blokes! It’s Julian and Benny Boy who flogged the Gold, and once again we’re in a pickle thought no fault of her own’.
Greg Mirabella, spearheading the Liberal Revival across Victoria
WE nodded sagely, surely this would prick Sophie’s compassion. Till we reminded ourselves there was no compassion. Still, Ces stoically pursued the course of Logic;
‘And Besides Sophie, why should you care? You’re on the bench of the Fair Work Commission, and your old man is running the Victorian branch of the Liberal party to the delight of the electorate and your mate Scomo has got clear off for being a lying, deceptive God bothering bastard. Shouldn’t you just rest in the warm inner glow of the forces you support getting off the hook? Shouldn’t you just receive the publicly funded sinecure and all the perks as being enough? Shouldn’t you be happy, and just leave us alone’?
Sophie stamped her jackboot. Ces had hit a raw nerve. That was the problem with Sophie it was like trying to entertain a Crown of Thorns Starfish, there was all prickle and no softness. Or a Box jelly fish, all softness and a deathly sting in the tail.
‘You talk to me of FUN!
You think THIS’! She waved her other bejewelled hand and the pudgy jewellery adorned fingers in the air, ‘You think this THIS IS FUN!
Destiny. ‘Commeth the hour’, (Testicles Chapt;1, v. 2). TWO LEADERS WHO WILL NOT LEAVE the public purse till it hath been FULLY DRAINED into their anointed pockets’. (Testimonials V.4, Ch,5, Old testament)
You have no idea what fun is until you’ve tasted RAW POWER!
Raw POWER is what motivates me, and now Gina has more power than I, I have no time for Time- wasters’. ‘You’! She glared; ‘are Fucken TIME WASTERS’!
‘Show me the gold or I’ll just grab it myself and leave three corpses Comprehende’?
We had nowhere else to go, this time she meant real business. ‘But, But’… Ces, equivocated; ‘Don’t you represent the democratic system and checks and balances inherent in the system. As a member of the Fair Work Commission aren’t you there to serve the Commonwealth and not’, he paused for emphasis ,,,’ yourself. Don’t you’?
Sophie cut him off in mid-sentence, ‘I’ll tell you Cecil if that’s what your real name is, the only reason I prevail is others like me, loathed, dispensed, relegated are still out there trying to outdo for mere pettiness and nastiness. Its an affront to my sense of self. WE can’t all be’, she spat the next word out, FAIR MINDED! It gets you nowhere, even SCOMO, ANGUS or BARNABY don’t want to be Fair- Minded.
But you’re then no better than’, Ces searched for a witty epithet, ‘no better than someone who just plays politics as a vendetta, for their own purposes, and nothing to do with the Commonwealth and the collective being of the nation. You’er no better than Adem Somurek..
SELFLESSLY! IN GOD’S Service! HE WORKS ALONE!
Ha ha….ahahahhhh…..hahaha Sophie convulsed with laughter, Adem? He’s an amateur, and he, he… WORKS FOR ME!
This came as a thunderclap, or as this is set in the arid centre of the driest continent, it came as a sandstorm. It only begs the question; Will the trio survive Sophie’s retribution?
Will they show her the gold?
Or will they via subterfuge and fair- play outplay the evil Fair Work Commissioner?
Find out in the next episode, ‘Sophies Sophomore’, or
‘Cashed up and Cashless, Winners are Grinners, and isn’t that all of the time’?