Artful Arty. Taking care of business.

Disturbing rumours that Gerry Gee also barracked for Fitzroy. PCbyCP Investigative team looking into it. Of much greater interest than the election.

All this corruption. The Liberals have been doing this dodgy deal whereby tax payer funds are siphoned by members allowances, (paid by us) to go straight back into the party coffers. Everyone’s a bit crook about this. They reckon it’s dishonest and fraudulent behaviour. Not so say the Liberals, its just that other parties have mis-interpreted the mechanism of funds allocation. The public are once again mis-informed. ‘It’s a bit like this’; says artul Arty Sinodinos, “like the free enterprise foundation, it’s key in ensuring that funds are delivered to us, and though you may think it’s a subterfuge to circumvent laws and restrictions to curb corruption. It’s free enterprise at work. And if you’re asking me how it works I have no idea. Never even knew about it, and trust me I should know as i’m the party treasurer’. No corruption there. And besides Labor does it also’.

David Feeney, about to be run over by a tram.

The house David forgot about. Can’t blame him, held hostage by the GREENS!!

David Feeney has a raft of investment properties. He’s a Labor man, and he’s hopping mad about all these people who are not paying the right amount of tax, who are rorting the system, and getting off scott-free by allowing the poorer bastards in society to pay for their lifestyle. Turns out that Feeney is up to his armpits in negative gearing, and he forgot to let anyone know. That’s cos he didn’t know himself. Turns out it’s not a good look, and he’s looking like a hypocrite, but the like Arthur, he can’t be blamed. Owning a portfolio of investment properties is tricky business, and you can get careless.

Relaxed and Comfortable, Richard de Natale.

Richard de Natale, has a maid for looking after the kiddies. That’s fair enough, nothing wrong with that, as a progressive socially liberal person he’s entitled to have a nanny, (‘Nurse Carstairs’ to the rest of the family) to look after Hyacinth and Tarquin. It might appear to other green tinged voters that such behaviour suggests a lifestyle that is out of kilter with tree hugging and same sex marriage. But, as Rick is at pains to point out, they have a busy lifestyle, and though the nanny reckons she was underpaid, it’s not fair to point the bone. She was paid above the award rate. What’s the award? we asked, “ somewhere between abject and grotesque poverty”! But he made sure those entitlements were met, cos being a green he has a social conscience, and though he can’t stump up the paperwork, he ‘s working on it. Like Arty, and David, he’s onto it!! So please, public, be fair.

The De Natale family nanny, ( ‘Nurse Carstairs’) demonstrating her obsession with cleanliness. An undisputed part of being truly Green.

Which brings us to the vexed issue of party donations and the secret funding that seems endemic. There’s absolutely no need for an enquiry, and whilst we’re at it there’s no need for an enquiry into the banks also. Everything is just fine, an the public whilst they’re under the delusion they’re part of the system will just have to wait. Like Parakeelia, it’s all under control and in good hands, People you can trust. Trust with business, and keeping the country under control. Official process, checks and balances and ‘wooty wooty woo woo’. Can’t tell you what ‘wooty wooty woo woo’ is. It’s a secret code shared between all the parties, and to the public it’s a no go zone.

Be fair, there’s gotta be some secrets in politics. And besides, it’s for our own good.