‘Punching above our weight’ Tony Abbott demonstrates Leadership!!!!

Just another week in God’s own country

Dear reader, occasionally you get such a weight of improbable, implausible and abject stories you tire of reading them, but for your edification we bring you this snapshot of the week that was. This special edition is to be broadcast the world over to demonstrate what a warm and welcoming country we have become.

Our special U.K envoy, (Mr Pulford Lick-spittle esq.) is breathless in his description of the enthusiastic response awarded to out latest ex pm Mr Tony Abbott’s clarion call to “Do as we have done” and turn all those asylum seekers back to where they bloody well came from.

At the Margaret Thatcher lecture he maintains his principled post Prime Ministerial stance that he got it all absolutely right, and he was most enthusiastically applauded for his efforts by Ukip’s Michael Farange. Once again, Australia steps bold onto the world stage and demonstrates, concise, decisive, clear thinking to a world befuddled by ethics, morals and quaint notions of religion. Indeed Mr Abbott, has reinterpreted Christian texts, and confirmed that bigotry and HATE are at the core of his interpretation of the bible. He is said to be waiting for an enthusiastic response from both Farange in the U.K, and the grand master Ku Klux Klan in Sth Carolina in due course. . Another world first*.

Prince Charles

In Victoria Jack Charles, celebrated Victorian of the year, who is also incidentally aboriginal, was foolish enough to accept a ride with his manager after an awards ceremony in a taxi. Silly Jack. As the manager left the taxi, the driver demanded up front payment, Jack called the driver a racist, a small argument ensued and Jack, recently gonged, was left abject, upset and alone. Once again the sprit of welcoming is well and truly with us.

Geelong. From rust bucket to “Creative Accounting Economy”

Our Geelong Correspondent Rusty Hubcap, has just sent us this extraordinary dispatch, that the ‘Motown’ of the near south, where unemployment is skyrocketing, youth unemployment is through the roof, allegedly going. ;’ Stratospheric”, (his own words), and where all the rest of what used to be manufacturing is most assuredly closing down of a bold new proposal to lift the Geelong economy. A bigger, bolder, brighter casino!! Just what Geelong needs, and to demonstrate once and for all that the direction of the new service economy is to ensure that the poor, through being dudded, drugged and demonised will inject whatever they have left to make the filthy rich even filthier. Forget about jobs, education, health, and a greater society, because; “This is the great society’, and it’s visionary!! Hooray the new Australia.

But wait, all that’s old is new again, or should I say all that’s not quite newish is oldish again. Our Sth Australia correspondent Darcy Darville-Dacre-D’ Ahlenberg has just emailed us the breathtakingly positive news that Sth Australia has put its hand up for a huge expansion of its, Solar? “No”. Re-newable?, “ No’ Manufacturing, ? “No’. Wait for it, NUCLEAR INDUSTRY After the party and the bogus Royal Commission, the government has selected Nuclear as the way forward. Another victory for mates and bigger big business.

Good ol Nuclear.

We’re waiting on the chosen site for Australia’s’ first really big nuclear reactor, and it appears that the lucky aboriginals of Maralinga have greatly accepted the offer to push the nuclear envelope once again.

Three cheers to Australia, for once again, we’ve proved to the world at large that when it comes to bigness, big vision, big society and big hearts, we’re indescribably very very small indeed.

• Most tellingly the ex P.M, unburdened by the responsibilities of office revealed himself  as a man of steely resolve and unwavering determination. ‘Never in the history of human kind has a backbench been so depleted through the  power of one’.