Mikhael, a famous Russian (not to be confused with Gorbi) made the first Kalashnikov at his mums house over a few weekends.
Dear reader, as you may recall , with our heroes up to their necks in trouble they’ve pulled off the impossible and saved themselves and their captor Sophie from oblivion by adding ‘liquid-waste’ to the Lucas electrics warhead. Thus saving themselves from the Bigger BANG!
But with Sophie waving an AK47 at them, there was another bigger bang awaiting them. And Sophie, now elevated to the bench of the Fair Work Commission wasn’t in a mood to trifle. This workplace agreement was gonna be stitched up good and proper.
What can our heroes do? With the safety-catch pulled back and the AK waving menacingly at all three of them, including Australia’s most decorated soldier, ‘Benny-boy Roberts Smith. The Question remains, where they about to be plugged to keep Sophies reputation intact?
The Ak47 was less heavy and way handier than the mighty Bren gun. Seen here with digger clearing the grass around the barby.
Sophies reputation? We hear you spluttering over your buttered croissants. Yes indeed even a Fair Work Commissioner needs some reputation in order to deliver wage-theft to an apathetic public.
Will Sophie pull the trigger? Who’s trigger if it aint Sophie’s? Stand by for this next compelling episode,
“And you too” she pointed to Benny, ‘Don’t want you blabbing to the tribunal or using me to get you off the hook for what you done in Afghanistan’. Benny looked crestfallen in spite of the VC tattooed to his chest, it offered no protection from an enraged Sophie. ‘Jeez Ces’, I remarked, ‘Ben’s about as slotted as a retired Melbourne Uni law professor. Yep, and got about as much chance of escaping, but why knock us all off after saving her life? It aint fair’.
An evil Afghani villager deservedly being shot for not standing upright, saluting and humming a few bars from “the Pub with no beer’ when a proud aussie digger walks by.
Ben turned to us fair and square, and said empathetically, ‘Look it’s been fun hanging round with you two, at first I thought you were just pansies at a Wiggles show, but now I realise you’re made of sterner stuff, and I’ll tell ya this much, war aint fair. And I should know’.
It was strange to see, after all he’d been through Benny-boy had learnt the irony of pathos and nationalism, a heady mix. ‘Sorry for you Benny-boy, but nationalism is lost on Sophie, like the P.M, who’s the PM for Scotty from Marketing. She’s the Fair Work Commissioner for Sophie and Sophie alone. You cant change that unalterable fact, they’re a force of utter and unblinding faith in themselves’.
Sophie ignored Ces’s penetrating insights with a wave of her Kalashnikov,
Most Afghani’s would give there left foot just to be spat on by a proud Aussie digger.
“Have you finished yet? Xi and I have got an important meeting in half an hour and I aint gonna be late. Sorry boys, you’ve done yer bit and I’m gonna let you say just one last thing before I plug ya’. We both squirmed, Sophie had now gone the full gangster, clearly a prerequisite for being a Fair Work Commissioner, and we knew our time was up.
‘Well then, Sophie, does your stint on the Fair Work Commission include overseas travel? Yeah, Europe, the USA, Aspen, St Moritz and the Costa Brava and other places of recognised international arbitration. Well then, could I just make one last request’? Ces was a wonder of self composure. ‘What is it dead- beat’? Sophie was in no mood to parley.
‘Well, if you get to Disney-land, he corrected ‘Euro Disney’, would you be able to send a post-card to our tea lady Ms Culthorpe? Might cheer her up after all she’s suffered in Parliament.
Yeah yeah, is that it’?
‘Yup’! Ben stoically replied for all of us, being a VC winner he knew how to die like a HERO.
‘Well then adios amigos’, and with that she pulled the trigger, and we knew it was the end.
But nothing happened.
our very own ANZAC Hero ‘Benny- Boy’demonstrates the pulling power of money, influence and mateship via ANZACKERY! YOU BLOODY LEGEND!
Why aint our heroes dead yet? Has Benny stood his ground? Has Sophie got something else planned? Or do AK’s suffer behavioural issues? Find out in the next episode, ‘A finger trigger pulled short’ or ‘Three coins tossed in a fundament, and not much happiness’.