The Rt (dis)Hon Alan Tudge, “Tudgey” to his mates.
We at pcbycp applaud the decision by the Federal Government to set up a dudded sheilah support group (DDSG) headed up by Dyse, Alan and Christian.
As the spokesperson for the Battered, Broken and Buried Sheila’s Response Group (BBBSRG) says: ‘it’s an opportunity for blokes of significant whiteness, and power, through representing the patriarchy to instruct (by example) on how women should behave in public life. Principally, to KEEP THEM OUTTA TROUBLE! To understand the over-arching principle of manifest destiny and the patriarchy as a GIFT FROM an ALL LOVING GOD, who seeks through the doctrine of original sin and ancient bearded-men the world over to punish women for being bit players in the old testament and of being no consequence in the greater scheme of things.
Our man of law, the AG, ” Porty” to his mates.
The Prime Minister held a special press conference to proudly announce the three new sub departments in the Super Department of Minor and Unimportant Womens Issues, (DMUWI)
“This is a progressive initiative taken on behalf of the Coalition to address this appalling situation.
Some of em are squealin to the press. They’re impugning the reputations of Ministers of the CROWN. Who are just getting a FEEL for their job. A job that carries the weight of RESPONSIBILITY. To Make high level decisions on COAL, GAS, ABO incarceration and looking after mates. It just aint GOOD ENOUGH!
‘Porty’ and ‘Dutto’, ( ‘spud -head’ to his mates)
I choose these blokes to represent womens issues with the same confidence we evinced when Tony Abbott became the Minister for Women and Aborigines. Though he’s heading up a Brexit trade negotiation, (applause from the audience) Im sure that these three blokes WISE MEN ALL, will do for womens issues what Tone did for aboriginals. They’ll be so grateful that they got off lightly with a slap on the bum, a squeeze and a resignation, that they’ll be pleading for more. As the AG himself says; “treat em men, keep em keen”.
So here’s the rollout
The Department of Touching (and Feeling)
Dyse is heading up this one.
The first of the sub-Ministries the Dept of Touching a Feeling will be headed by Dyson Heydon. Dyse is a leader in the field. He’ll put a strong and firm hand on womens issues and squealers will be given special treatment.
The Department of Dumping
Tudgey has a handle on this, and together with the sub Ministry of Dissing, Dudding and Gaslighting
Dyse. Both these women had working with Dyse certification.
The Department of Bum Slapping.
This is a shoe-in for Porty. He’s got form and he’s an expert in the trade. As AG. He knows what women like, that’s why in his own words; ‘they keep comin back for more’.
Barnaby, the man who started it all. A BLOODY LEGEND!
So to recap, this is not a thought bubble, we take sheilas interests really seriously. Ferchrisskes me mum was one, I think. It has been said that God must’ve had a mum by one also. We wouldnt go that far, cos as Rupert says, ‘the science aint in yet’, but women have proven in Australian politics the capacity to make the sandwiches, and clear up after question time. The Aussie sheilah has a track record in being reliable, honest and full of integrity, and if ya slap em round a bit they generally take it in good grace. It’s an undisputed piece of Aussie culture that we don’t like dobbers and women know their place. As it is said in testicles, chap 5 v 6, “she whoeth be rib- born shall be stoned righteously if she questions the authority of man made in the image of an all loving god’. And so it is written.
And if you don’t believe me, it s been countersigned here by God’s Deputy himself Cardinal Pell.
Case closed.
And I say this with CONVICTION!
Michaela, a good strong woman in Canberra.
You still need a bloke to mow the lawns. Just ask Jim.