Jack Charles, ” A taxi service fit for a KING’!

Dear reader, once again, Australia is a world leader. The statistics speak for themselves. Aboriginal Australians make up less than three per cent of the population, yet account for up to 80 percent of incarcerations in the N.T and W.A. An aboriginal child is thirty times more likely to end up in the slammer, and as current indices suggest they are less likely by ten to fifteen years to achieve the national ‘batting average’. Proof perfect that ever since the bounty of Australia Day was inaugurated ‘we’, the other 97 percent demonstrate a profound and tangible understanding of Aboriginal Australia. We should be proud, ‘numero uno’, and our most recently deposed P.M, as ‘Prime Minister for Aborigines’ was destined to make real change. Sadly, (and we are in profuse agreement with Noel Pearson), his reign was cut short.

But there’s good news, the new police complexes, will prove a boon to privatised prisons, and an absolute sure-fire thing to shareholders. Where once all was hopeless,  a veritable “terror -nullius’, we now have growth. Similarly there’s a silver lining in the knowledge that the celebrated actor Jack Charles will soon be able to get a ride in a taxi. A taxi service dedicated to Aboriginal Australians. A private public partnership pointing to a new way forward.

‘Aboriginal Australia and Australia Day is a vexed issue. But what do Indigenous Australians really lack? A treaty? A rapprochement? No!! They lack certainty!! Real and tangible certainty when they require a taxi. Certainty to know their place, make a contribution to this country, and in recognition of the hard yards we’ve undertaken to improve their lot, a spirit of gratefulness. Being grateful is so important to their sense of self’ the CEO of ‘Black on White Taxi’s’ Ms. Blanche White proclaimed. ‘It challenges cultural stereotypes, and balances the general populations feeling that they should be more grateful. That’s in keeping with the spirit of Australia Day’.

‘Black on White Taxi’. Soon to be a familiar sight in the southern states. This vehicle depicts the ” Conniston” accessory pack, of rifles and ‘solitary’, passenger accomodation module.

‘The Black on White Taxi is a purpose built taxi. Drivers are rigorously selected and as a pre-requisite, “colour blind”, and the taxi fare is cashless. Fares are deducted automatically from the basics card. The taxis themselves are modified paddy wagon’s and each have a distinctive black on white. (colour bars) to indicate their ‘Special use”. The taxi routes are all defined by a specific set of ‘knowledge’ skills, with major exits and routes leading to railway stations, airports, and any public institution, (Gaol or correctional facility) that will expedite the transfer of aborigines from urban to remote areas’. The CEO of ‘Black on White Taxi’s’ Ms. White, was beaming at the unveiling; ‘Like Prisons, this is a growth industry for Aboriginal Australians. It also demonstrates the utility of modifying existing infrastructure to achieve practical outcomes. A win win for the post manufacturing sector, to demonstrate Innovative thinking’.

Attractive interior finish of the ‘Black on White’ taxis includes historical documents and tasteful posters celebrating Australia’s glorious settlement and a wattle pinpointing the unrealised potential of REAL ESTATE.

Speaking of innovation Ms White proudly unveiled the new vehicle “Yes indeed we’ve take the principle of the modified utility vehicle as used by the N.T, and W.A police for prisoner transfer, and have adapted the bench seat and windows, with a polyvinyl, (washable) bench seat in a range of aboriginal related themes, in the tradition of the Papunya and desert artists and matching curtains to ensure privacy and creature comfort. Our drivers are versed in basic aboriginal language being able to say “get out” in most surviving tribal languages. A deluxe version is also planned which includes handcuffs, bars and abusive language, designed to acclimatise the passengers in transfer to the familiar sounds of prison life. Indigenous Australian of the year Mr Charles was unavailable for comment, but the secretary to the Minster for Aboriginal Affairs made a brief statement. ‘We now have a clear direction in giving something back to aboriginal australians, who must be grateful for our assistance, once again, in reminding them not of all they have lost, but how much they’ve gained since settlement’.

‘Don’t forget, These are an ancient and special people, and once again we have re-defined our special relationship. And this is neither tokenistic nor superficial, because we’ve crafted for them, from their dreaming and their noble ancestry an appreciation of what contribution they have made to the rest of Australia’. ‘And what is that contribution beyond and the near certainty of incarceration’? the Secretary was asked. ‘Oh that’s simple, the gift of real certainty and incidentally what constitutes the real drivers, (no pun intended) of this economy, REAL ESTATE!!’.