By Royal decree, Prince Andrew sharing a joke about Uighurs in Concentration Camps. A proud creation of EMPIRE.
WE pick up where we left off with a succession of Andrews’ deemed inappropriate for the top job of helping Australia in its China crisis, till the Royal penny dropped. Prince Andrew had agreed, (by Royal decree) to help us out. As the Minister said; ‘If the Prince can’t pull it off, no one can”!
The Minister could tell now that our high level expertise was coming into gear, (that is why we are respected as an-international policy think tank) and a solution could be found to this attempt by an “undisclosed power” to destroy the very foundations of our society.
We illuminated the Minister from our perspective,
HRH Prince Andrew and Xi applauding ” Tudgey” in his performance of “My Favourite Concubine’.
‘We understand Prince Andrew is a powerful individual respected by really significant people in business and human affairs, and the utilisation of small-goods, and sleep-overs as a lever in International global strategy but is he the best fit to solve the crayfish crisis, the wine embargo, the barley boycott and the coal crisis? I mean, begging your Royal pardon, but, what experience has he got’?
We could hear the Minster breathing heavily. Clearly we’d hit a “Royal nerve”. ‘It’s not my choice, but I’ve been instructed to do this from the highest authority in-the land”.
‘Jeez Si, The PM’s office? We interjected.
“Nup’ much higher than that. From Her Majesty!!! (the Queen gets three exclamation marks).
HRH Prince Andrew and “some other bloke from the CCP” opening the Pizza Express Wuhan.
The Queen has signed the royal warrant to give Prince Andrew unlimited powers to act on Australia’s behalf. You see, no offence, though you have experience, you lack the royal connection. We need you, but you alone just wont do. We need you to work with someone who is respected the world over, who can open doors, grease palms, and do whatever it takes to keep the integrity of Empire v. 2.0 intact’.
‘Empire’! we scoffed. ‘Isn’t that laying it on a bit thick’? Ces was incredulous. ‘I mean since Singapore back in 42, the Empire’s a bit of a Norma Desmond short of the Sunset Boulevard’.
‘Hah’!, the Minster retorted, ‘you just don’t get it! DO YOU’!
‘Get what’? We sneered. Although we were happy to receive unlimited Federal funds without tender as is common practice in dealing with the Feds, we didn’t like being patronised. The Minister was emphatic, and would not be deterred. ‘Haven’t you seen what’s happening? The evil foreign power has seeded Covid to destroy the west. And only the UK has the foresight to use Brexit as a chance to reunify the crimson thread and prevail with “Empire V 2”.
HRH Prince Andrew, (like Donald), has a tendency to exaggerate.
‘That’s why Boris is so important TO OUR CAUSE and deliberately incomprehensible, it’s a smokescreen. The Chinese will never see through it, their poked eyes in the five eyes will be sad eyes and sore brown eyes all round’.
The Minister had a point, in a flash we saw the way through. The dawning of a NEW EMPIRE was not gonna be a walk in the park!
‘Does that mean we can sail up the Yangtze and force Opium on em as we did on the days of yore’? piped Quent. “Love to but modern diplomacy has gotta be subtle, we’ve got a much bigger plan, or should I say a bigger wok to fry our fish in’. WE all had a laugh, the Minister was still in great form.
Our plan is to put opium in powdered milk product, We’ll have a generation of kiddy smack addicts, that’ll learn em’.
We noticed how the Minister began to speaking a crim argot, clearly this is what it took to deal with those who felt above international law, we had much to learn.
Priority for top shelf infant formula to members of CCP. ‘Some infant formula is more equal than other infant formulas'(Mao).
HRH Prince Andrew and Princess Eugenie visit the Newcastle Coal processing plant after catastrophic Chinese embargo.
‘Yes, we’ve gotta help Britain in its hour of need, and this’ll indicate how severe the trouble really is. And by the way this is top secret. if you tell anyone about it we’ll have you inside before you can say “ Witness K’.
We gulped, . Even if the plan was immoral, unethical and crook, we could still be jailed for life. ‘Ok Si, tell us more’?
There was more to follow, and it got worse.
Australia’s Pan-Global strategy. Empire V.2 at work.
What will happen in our next Royally Righteous episode? Will the Prince have the choice of any fair maiden he chooses to consummate the deal with? Could she be an Australian, or perhaps even a Septic Tank, ( Yank) who’d moved to Australia?. Or will he go it alone? Could he boldly and bravely leave the comfort of his new York Sleep- over and the Pizza Express in Woking for this mission of high level tight rope walking? Stay tuned to; ‘a Prince in tights places’, or ‘Tequila Sunrise or Tequila Mockingbird?”