Making the Census work for a planned economy.
Oh dear, something terrible is afoot. No sooner had the P.M for ‘Thought bubbles and innovation proclaimed “ Mission accomplished’ on the Census, that the computer system went down. An emphatic ‘Computer Says No’ moment.
Within seconds the CEO of the Australian Bureau of Statistics was onto it, proclaiming it was hacked by outside agencies. ‘Unknown outside agencies’, and to be quite specific, a nation state that may talk Mandarin, and be cross with us. Why would they do such a thing? According to the detailed analysis that followed, the Chinese were really upset with us about everything, and it makes perfect sense. They’re were angry with us for not allowing them to buy the NSW energy grid. Angry at us for not rejecting the Hague decision on maritime boundaries, and angrier still that one of our athletes had suggested that the Chinese swim team were bent. Enough to make you want to stuff up the census. Yep, just a typical sort of thing you’d expect the Chinese to do. They’re sore at us because of our free living, and carefree lifestyle, and who wouldn’t want to be an Australian, envy of the civilised word.
Turned out it’s none of the above. It was our own ABS system. Perhaps more ancient than Archimedes screw. It was just not up to the job, and when it crashed, the whole underfunded creaking, apparatus came tumbling down. It seems in hindsight that blaming the Chinese was a pretty good strategy. Popular with the electorate, and more popular still Malcolm Turnbull’s directive that “heads will roll”
Homelessness in Melbourne. A Sure sign that a planned economy and society based upon the application of census data is no longer relevant.
Who’s heads we’d like to ask? Spose it wouldn’t be the generations of Australian Pollies dating back to Hawke and Fraser, who have defunded the ABS. Certainly not Australian industry who steadfastly work to equip Australia to the bold new future, and break the digital divide. Nup, it was much simpler than that. A realisation that Australia’s era of planned economies, and big government are well and truly over. The census is just ‘so so post war’. Why do we need a census at all?
Do you think government has the commitment to instigate change off the back of census data. I don’t think so. It’s corporations who run the country now, and perhaps the biggest , the Property Council would find the Census apparatus a hindrance. Their model is laissez fire, and it’s fantastically good for the shareholders, and those at the bottom of the coal-face, the proprietors of Seven Elevens, who’ve proven their worth. WE are in a census derived vacuum. Short termism is king. And if you don’t believe me, go talk all the people sleeping rough in Melbourne. They are the markers for a society that enshrines winners and losers. A concept removed from the Big society, and suggestive, like past enshrined attributes, a stable environment and planning to nurture the taxpayers are no longer relevant.
Still though, the Chinese must be laughing. No five year plans, no tax reform, no nuffink on this side of the ledger, just hot air, slogans, and those who get seventy seven votes calling the shots. ‘Lies, damn lies and statistics’. And no apologies for the Chinese. That’s Aussie sportsmanship at work, and more GOLD for AUSTRALIA.