And there, therein, we begin with the penultimate post, pre -election day. 

Is there anything in this election? 

Is it too close to call?

Have ideas and visions so powerful transformed the Australian political landscape?

Will tax reform negative gearing, and a Federal Icac be foremost just for starters?

Will the climate get the reckoning it deserves? 

We have no idea and thankfully being Australia,  big issues like Climate change and knocking off flora at an accelerated rate are irrelevant. It’s the smallness of things we’re interested in. And that SMALLNESS stands us in good stead. To be a quiet place, where the quiet majority who worry about super, housing interest rates, their work, security, xenophobia, and smallness and self interest. They’d rather leave it to people who know better. And know what’s best for all of us, and may help themselves to a little bit of the cake along the way.

Bu there are much more significant things afoot beneath the irradiated sands of Maralinga. The final testament between two of our most powerful politicians, Sophie, (is that a professor in my back shed Mirabella?), and that titan of the Queensland Constabulary Peter Dutton. Now that the truth is out that Peter is half-human, half-crustacea, a victim of atom bomb testing in the 50’s we have Sophie and our unsung heroes the only witnesses to a terrifying state of play, The fact that all the Queensland front benchers and a sizeable rump of those in the senate, are mutants. Every Jack person of then defined by the radioactivity they copped whilst they were infants or when  their parents worked hard in cleansing the arid interior for a nuclear future. 

Will they be able to turn the tide?

Will Sophies ordeal put her out in front?

Or are they both destined to perish, disappear from the political landscape forever once election day is done?

Find out in this next episode; Who dares wins or who wins dares to dare again’.   We continue with our saga,. tThe perils of our heroes in doubt and the forthcoming ordeal just begun…

‘I dunno Ces whispered to Quent, looks like we must be almost at the top’? No sooner had Ces uttered those word as we followed  in the footsteps of Australia’s bravest soldier ( EVER)  up the dusty dark steps than we arrived at a landing of sorts. On either side, a straight and level tunnel leading into the inky blackness. The question poised for our grim party to determine, Which way to go?

WE looked at each other, and then looked again… ‘So this is it’?  We looked at each other, we had arrived at a crossroads of sorts. 

It’s a bit like the election,  Quent demurred; ‘You can either go left or right. 

Yep,  and whichever way you go the left and the right turn up at exactly the same place. 

And that’s the trouble, no matter how long you might travel down in the right direction, you always think you should’ve gone in the left direction. No wonder people get confused on the ballot paper. Yeah! Opined Terry; in my day it was way simpler.  There was Labor and a Liberal and you could really tell the difference!

Hows that? questioned Ces. 

Well for a start Labor people weren’t as well spoken as Liberal people.  And Labor people also had the taint. The taint? queried Ces. 

Oh yairs, the taint of socialism. It made them hard to trust. Trust on whose side they were really on. 

 Hows that? enquired Ces, 

‘Well they were all a bit pinko. Only a man with enough courage and foresight, ‘MING’, would give nuclear a go. And if we’d stayed with the Coalition we’d be nuclear on everything by now! And I’d still have a job, rather than just the flunkey in an abandoned nuclear facility. 

He’s right! Ces quipped; we can’t stay the lucky country all the time without an opportunity to be made in either digging shit up out of the ground or blowing things up. That’s why they call it the big brown land, cos its strength is in its emptiness. 

Yep and let’s hope nothing changes after the election, cos in a way we need people like Dutto and Sophie to remind us why we’re a democracy. And whys that ? Ces was determined to work this quandary out once and for all. ‘Well people can look after themselves and mates. The don’t need the curse of BIG GOVERNMENT ruining their lives.  Mateship would be gone in a fairer and more equitable Australia, and there’d be restrictions on digging shit up and chopping trees down and in the end we’d have to be cleverer’. 

WE all agreed that the last thing we wanted was a nation full of intellectuals and thinkers, TROUBLE- MAKERS!

‘Too right’ Benny-boy replied, ‘it’d be a nation of ratbags and they’d all be obsessed with social policy rather than looking after the real drivers of the economy, mates, and kickbacks to mates mates.  Did you get a gig in the ATT. (Benny was referring to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal), ‘Nup mate, not considered reliable enough. Thats a pity. Everyone is in on it, Why fer fucks sake would you wanna change that I arks YA’!

We are inclined to agree with our heroes assessment. With change comes the possibility of ‘real change’, and that would be dangerous for Australia,. Whilst Dutto and Sophie fight it out down below we suffer the real risk of incremental microscopic change in Australia.  Let’s hope it doesn’t happen and Rupert, Lord of Murdoch may yet decree, Australia, is safe and PURE from  dangerous ideas. 

But will Sophie and Dutto go unanswered? They still lurk, behind the scenes, and the scenes are borrowed from the props department of Doctor Who. Will there be a doctor in the house? Find out in the next prescription-drug issue, For whom does the tolling bell toll in an election booth? , Or Try saying election in Japanese English to a houseful of angry lesbians?